Singing + T&J + Frustration

Singing Combo
It was singing season recently... and singing with different people also.... cos kakis can't unite until glynis returns from cambodia... went singing with ml, jacky, isabelle, yanping and kelvin during weekend and with jacky, calvina, evelyn and isabelle on another day...

the second one was quite 1 of a kind session... jacky out of a sudden called me, said he is going to sing with evelyn, and glynis sis[this is funny, nvr thought of going out with calvina], asked me to go stir up the atmosphere.... haha... and i really went to make a clown out of myself... jacky last minute asked isabelle to listen to his concert, so she was there too.... haha $26 + cab fare, the ticket to jacky's concert was quite a price to pay sia...isabelle willing to pay... so either jacky's voice really make isabelle a fan of his, or....... :p

Anyway, i was totally mesmerised by Calvina's singing.... i looked at her expressions when she was singing [i know its rude haha...], you see how deep she is into the song... i like singers who can really tell a story out of a song... her vocal range quite wide and her enunciation was perfect, super clear.... okok talk too much no use... u've got to listen to it... download the singing below, and if got problem with downloading bandwidth, please download it another time, cos got limit per hour......

click to d/l...
Jia Zhuang - Calvina [die die must listen]

Ren Zhi - Jacky [another Jacky's attempt on a-mei's song]

Bu Neng Suo De Mi Mi - Me & Jacky [1st attempt, i zao sia badly during last part.... LOL]

Superman - Jacky & Me [this is a funny one...]

Shan Hu Hai - Calvina & Jacky [深情演唱......]

Gu Ji Gu Ji - Calvina & Evelyn [cute one...Evelyn was mumbling... haha...]

Hurt So Bad - Me [finally ktv got this song]

Tom & Jerry
The other day, Joan asked me to watch tom & jerry on youtube... then i actually found episodes which i once had in video tapes... haha... these 2 were one of the tom & jerry videos i had... hahaha... enjoy...

Tom & Jerry: At the Bowling Alley


Tom & Jerry: Heavenly Puss

Frustration
'C' opens brother's door [without knocking], grab the modem from computer and walks out of the room without closing back the door.... tell me 1 characteristic of C.....

I say SELFISH!

'C' after NS, found a job in a bank, but within 2 weeks, mc 3 days. Later quited job, saying that he wants to help at mum's stall. 1st week full attendance, 2nd week 5 days, 3rd week now... how many days? So far haven worked yet... And all day, he hogs the internet.... 24hrs! Brother keeps quiet, day after day.... he never 'automatic' at all....

Lazy! Selfish!

Anyway, i'm the brother... i had to sleep early and 'steal' the modem from his room, after he sleeps at 6am.... I really don't know what he is thinking... Cedric, please do something for your future... don't talk talk talk only.... talk is easy~ I'm not going to talk, cos sure quarrel one... you settle yourself...

I really have commitments like swami, and the css blog, so i need to use... please understand that those i'm working with won't know i have problem using internet, they will only think i didn't do my work....

update

Update

Just went for medical appointment in the morning with mummy... doctor said the pain i experiencing is part of the process; now that my knee's mechanism has changed, and i'm using my leg differently from previous, pressure point becomes different. Furthermore, my quads muscle is still small, hence it takes at least a year to resume back to normal. I'm given another 6 weeks' extension of medical leave.

After doctor appointment, went for physio, my physiotherapist given me 1 new exercise, holding medicine ball, raise up and forward, while standing on 1 leg... damn shag~ haha... then during a conversation with her, she asked about my previous schools, and we actually were from the same institute and secondary school! hahaha so so so 巧, she is my super senior~ haha...

Changed the blog picture & song, adjusted the font size and etc... just some minor minor changes... when valentia sent me some english songs, i was attracted by this song's feel... music and lyrics... i couldn't play it via 'imeem' cos of some permission clause, so i loading the song from another source, therefore can pause the song by the previous button, however u can still stop the song by pressing the "stop" - red cross icon on your explorer...

Saturday & Sunday

Saturday & Sunday...

saturday early early morning went to watch 'transformers' with cedric... haha... this is super weird and unusual... nvr really watched a movie together since teenage, somemore is mid-nite, we purposely took cab down, shared a popcorn and drink, completely the movie without quarrel~! its a record man~! though i disagree with some things he said, but i just keep quiet, tried not to say much... and it was peaceful~ 'transformers' is DAMN! nice~ a MUST-WATCH movie! the bots were so nice la... those cars too~ i love the romance scenes, cos they were funny and nicely designed and acted... the 'baby come back~.... ' scene, the seat-beat scene... haha... then those comical scenes, hahaha... funny lah... those who have not watched it, better schedule time for it! haha... after the movie at abt 5:15am, me and cedric walked to mcdonalds' for early breakfast, cos wanted to wait midnite charge to end... and we took a cab home.... i slept at 7:30am, and had to wake up at 12noon to make reservation for kbox... cos 2pm was meeting some 'neighbours'

actually don't know them at all, but managed to organise the kbox outing thru wholivesnearyou... i was there first... no one was there... i was like 'shit, kena fly aeroplane'... but i just waited and see... then saw 2 - yanting & caine came... haha at least got 3 of us, can sing liao... actually alone i'll also sing, did it once and was years back... kekez... damn boring... back to outing, then 1 other guy came, Daniel... then abt an hour later, our room door was opened by the waiter, and he seem to be guiding someone into our room... haha then i was thinking who could it be.... after 5 secs, junbin and ken appeared~! was so happy... now we have 6 liao... we persuaded junbin to ask henry and caining too, and he succeeded... another hour later, both came.... it was 8 of us in a small room... then i requested to be shifted to a bigger room and our 'party' started... everyone were quite supportive... similar, like other ktv sessions, i was trying my best to increase everyone's energy level... with all my crappy nonsenses... i warned myself not to be too 'over' at first, cos first time meet... but they were quite okay with me, so i crapped at my normal rate... kekez was fun singing with the guys... their singing really not bad one...there were 'li jiu ze', 'li sheng jie', english oldies expert, 'zhuo wen xuan', 'yanzi'... kekez... bt panjang also got good voices~

after singing, went to play pool... junbin simply thrashed us... some games i only had 2 chances to hit ball.... i ended up losing big, average of 4 balls left every round... super demoralising when playing with him... haha... in the end me and ken 'punched' for the pool session...

after pool we went to buy yami yogurt, caining wanted to redempt her free ice-cream... end up everyone bought ice-cream, and caining ate jumbo size alone! she is a big fan for yami... then we went over to 163 for dinner.... we ordered some tse zha and bbq food, table was full of food~ after dinner, chit chated for 2-3 hrs, then our outing ended... super tired...

today, ml woke me up with a call, she bought mcdonald breakfast... i was still very tired... so went back to bed to 'lazy' for awhile, and she did everything to wake me up again~! during breakfast time, she was praising bp's mac service good, this and that... then suddenly she realised her hotcakes got not honey and margarine! haha... she changed her 'testimonial' abt it... LOL...i got her my orange skin with honey and butter to be substitutes, but the taste wasn't nice... then she tried to use salt and pepper... haha... my crazy girlfriend~

after breakfast, she went tuition, i went to help up at henderson cc for the event again... foo was on a fiery mood, shouted at us, which was a rare sight... me and alan chen were in-charge to coordinate the loading and unloading of elderly... damn problematic at first, cos bus drivers didn't co-operate with us... see us young, can to 'eat'... but soon it was under control... only that those in the hall were complaining that we released the elderly too fast... haha... slow right, fast also wrong... during the process of rushing donw stairs with my lousy leg, i tripped, skipped 4 - 5 steps of stairs[with the gd leg of cos!] and nearly fell...heart nearly jumped out~ damn clumsy these days with the lousy leg... after settling the elderly, i went to hall and became camera man cum cheerleader cum food server... then went downstairs to settle the moving out procedures again.... but this time it was much better controlled...

after henderson, went to mad club outing with ml... as usual, the blur queen late, so waited for awhile before going to meeting the guys at a jap restaurant at citilink, don't know what ninja one... haha but nothing to do with ninja in the restaurant... kekez... we were given a cosy 'almost enclosed' corner... so private and cool.... food also not bad.... eat, talked cock, then waited for the super latecomers~ after dinner we went to watch 'transformers' at marina.... yes, i watched again! haha...

thats all~ 9 more days to next medical appt and end of this mc...~

Jay's Secret

Jay's Secret At this hour... the emo me accidentally found Jay's new single... Maybe some people already know... but i didn't know ok? His new movie '不能说的秘密' is releasing at abt end August, the title is also the theme song's title...

Here's the Movie's Trailer and MTV Preview~ Enjoy~

Movie Trailer [looks so nice, so emo... i so so so wanna watch]


MTV Preview

Rubbish

I'm sad.... really sad... sings: I wanna cry...i wanna fly....

alright never mind... people will say i whinning too much... say i'm fake....

hahaha... I joking lah... :) I'm happy...! :P

Collin Chan is a clown~ happy clown...~

I wanna sing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To The Most Familiar Stranger

To the Most Familiar Stranger...

This is especially to you, yes... you~ I know you're still reading...

You said i'm insensitive, incorrigible, immature, shallow, typical...
You said you saw me a few times, and didn't look/behaved like the guy you knew...
You said i think highly abt myself.... and talk bad abt others...
You said a lot of other things...

I read once, read twice, read thrice...

its okay for you to have said all these...

i'm fine...

Thanks for the last stab in my heart...

Guess people like matty, glynis, jacky, and ml knows i am a crazy crappy guy on the surface... think no one will be as monkey as i am outside... but they know who's the collin below the surface... I don't need to explain things that you saw... thats me you saw... wonder if its really me... nvm its probably me... you recognise me better than i can recognise you.... oh ya, i don't think i ever will recognise you....

I don't need your friends who don't know me to judge me.... don't need you whom i never met after 7 yrs to say those words.... don't need to see those stabbing emails you sent.... those words were like throwing all the efforts i put in these years, and stepped them over and over again....

sometimes i say i'm angry abt you... i'm sad abt what happened... i suspect u cheated on me... but have i ever confronted you? have i ever say words to hurt you like you did to me....? I even told myself, even if you lied to me, i'm okay... as long as you meet me and stop lying... i can let it be history.. i dun even need to know why you do it or what... but i think no one will believe.... becos no one believe i could fall in love with someone i never met...

you blame me for moving on... if i didn't moved on 4 yr ago... you said you will tell me everything, things will not be the same... seriously... if it was going to happen, it won't take 3 yrs after i know you, to tell me or even meet me... 2003 when i changed my hp number, i've made my mind clear, i want to move on... you tried to find me, even sms my mum and gave me reasons, i was touched... i thought it was the turning point... but later things were still the same.... i was really hoping for something again.... but... when i was in drama, my instructor wanted us to share our stories... i shared abt you and i.... i nvr say anything bad... but my friends scolded me... they shed tears... i shed tears too... i acted our story during a practice... they cried again...

since you chose not to know me in person, but to 'know' me from what you see from the few coincident occasions... i respect your choice... i won't stop you from telling people how bad am i...... i feel hurt, but its ok...

becos after all, you just like those strangers out there who don't know me.... thats sad, cos all those heart to heart talk with you, like drain water now... i opened up the real self to you...but you chose to hide and chose to believe i'm not like the guy i've opened up to you...

i really don't know what else to say...

think whatever you like...
i'll not find out anything from anyone, cos i realised what i wanted wasn't any truth...
i only wanted to meet you... wanted to hear from you... same as what i wanted before...


take care, most familiar stranger....

Matty's Bday Celebration

Matty Bday Celebration

Saturday night went to Matty's bday... K-union was big~! I felt lost in it... kekez... I was everywhere...~

Me and Jacky reached first, and waited outside... then matty's parents came, they spoke to the manager then we went in together to rearrange the furniture, test system, and waited for the balloons... I was reluctant to sing, cos my voice not recover from the sore throat and cough yet... But Jacky managed to persuade me sing... we sang a few songs to warm up... but i sucked~ kekez... couldn't control my voice and i sounded unstable...

Then i was disturbing people, asking them to sing... they must think i siao... i talked to them as if i know them... haha... First was Matty's cousins and sister.... then i started disturbing her friends... especially, huili, charine[agar agar spell], yy, and wy-English... they are matty's varsity frens... quietly sat 1 corner, didn't sing at all... i was trying all my best to make them to sing... kekez... charine and huili like xiao zhu too, so my bai fen bai crap, they understood and responded... :) they were like my supporters, waited for me to sing 精舞门... kekez.. haha i got supporters sia - i think too much...~ :p

cherie, peiyun, huihua, and jasper were there too... we were playing with balloons, playing pool, took photos and crapped together at one table... cherie's bright yellow with black dress, was striking~ i teased her that it looked like double yellow lines on road... kekez... actually think it nice, suits her... huihua was serving us, pouring drinks for us, then i joked that if kbox staff got so pretty 就好, just before i finished my words, she over poured the drinks... kekez...

then matty's sec sch frens quite cool.... got 1 botak[skin head], sang some oldies and Andy Lau's songs... quite cool~ got the bassy voice... and got 2 girls i have to mention, Amy & Yiling... I was so impressed by them... They are one of the better voices i heard so far... sing fast songs got the punch and clarity, sing slow songs got the emo feel~

Jacky picked 一直 for me to sing, then they 'pushed' [didn't really pushed] me to stage to sing..kekez... i zao sia again at the 理由 part... LOL... Then i made Jacky sang 搁浅 on stage...
Then around 12+am, people started to leave.... and the mood quite low there liao... so i sang some high songs to lift the spirits... kekez... jumped here and there... walked table to table... Glynis and Matty was like trying to control my siaoness, and asked me 'eat medicine' for several times.... I forced matty to sing on stage with jacky... then she was so afraid of the stage... glynis 'warned' me again kekez...haha think glynis was my mummy, and i was the small boy that nite... kekez... Glynis was 'high' on helium for quite awhile, inhaled don't know how many balloons of helium.. LOL... when she talked after inhaling the helium, her voice became very cute... kekez... then she was laughing her trademark laugh in that cute voice, so funny~

at 2+am, almost everyone gone liao, left the some guys, and four of us[singing 4].... nothing much to do liao.... we continued singing songs and ate the leftover buffet for supper... at abt 3am, the staffs asked if we want to go a smaller room, cause they have to clean up the place... then we moved to a smaller room, but still got pool table, and it looks very modern and cool~ stayed there for awhile and 4 of us left, leaving the guys to sing their boyband songs... we accompanied matty to mandarin hotel take her stuffs... Glynis and matty went upstairs... the security guard's attitude was bad! think youngster can't afford to stay at the hotel, or think the hotel only welcome foreigners.... Glynis re-appeared alone in the lift, cos matty was asked by relatives to stay, but she forgot her ballons still with jacky.... Glynis could reach her by phone and we have no access to the lift, so we released the balloons on matty's behalf, then we shared cab home...

It was fun 'performing' infront of people... kekez... quite lost when i singing, don't know where to stand cos of the number of groups.... don't know how to describe... anyway, i enjoyed... :) kekez...

Glynis talks with 'Helium effect'


Mathilda singing~


Jacky and Mathilda: I still Believe... again~

Happy SMS...

Happy SMS...

I was rushing 1 of matty's present last nite... from 2am - 8am... then was surpposed to go henderson cc at 5pm... in the end i woke up at 5pm... i was stunned~! then quickly wash up and rushed out... on the way out, jacky called regarding the balloons... then i stunned again... forgot to call~... then quickly ordered the balloons for matty then continue my rush down to henderson...

when i reached there, immediately after i alighted, i got to helped 1 aunite on wheelchair up the lift to the hall to her seat... kekez... let those who know i late, know i start work liao... kekez... i never ask what to do one... always find things to do then they won't know i late... kekez... as long as i do things the natural way... people won't know when i arrived... LOL....

there were 400 over uncle, aunite, ah gong, ah ma and children there... they were there to receive 'ang baos' from some businessman doners... this is the 2nd time this year, still got 2 more times.... these doners are very wealthy but good people... 1 ang bao = a low 3 digits sum leh... not a few dollars... u do the maths.... they contribute money, we volunteers contribute sweat... everytime do volunteer work, the smiles, the 'thank you's, make me feel happy... was quite tired, and my leg was giving me problems, but its worth it...

ml was there with me too... thought she so clever, suddenly know how to find her way there, yuan lai she took a cab there from tiong bahru... kekez... after the event, wanted to watch movie at tiong bahru plaza one but bad timing so we decided to take long bus rides home... on the way home, received tien hwee's sms.... wah i was so happy lah... cos she asked me to help her do something... something i like! haha... happy she give me such opportunty.... kekez can't reveal much now.... but its a small thing lah... just that i'm happy cos its a good opportunity for me... if i can do it, then there might be a lot of maybes after that.... i was so excited so so excited.... haha... ok little hint... its about singing... kekez... :)

ok talk abt singing, my sore throat and cough still 'blocking' my voice... later, matty's bday party @ k-union, don't know i can sing or not... haha if can't, i will feel damn wasted one.... the place will be her's from 6pm-6am... her dad so good to her lor... the expenses for the venue and drinks its 4 digits sum lor... my 21st bday was at my mum's tse zha stall lor... hahahaha....

i've drawing using adbe these few days, wanted to design a background or banner for here[blog]... i ended up drawing some 4-yr art pieces... ml said if i still a kid, i will get 'A'[... but now i adult liao... :( LOL... then joan said it suits me, said its cute, then she oso sort of caught the meaning of the drawing... kekez... i'll see how... maybe i'll change to the drawing... maybe i'll not... we shall see~

Energy's New Member

ENERGY'S NEW MEMBER!

Energy recently recruited a new member, his name is Tang Zhen Gang, 唐振刚 aka 小刚. Based on what I've found, he has been acting in some Taiwanese dramas and movies, other than acting he dances too - was Milk's student once, and coached K'one dancing before.

Hope good things will follow, after this new addition... All the best Energy!

The 'New' Energy

Water Talk

Random Hydrology

Having a bad throat now... every cough feels like i'm coughing my throat out... my throat damn pain... scared cannot recover by itself before Matty's birthday celebration this saturday, so quickly went to see doctor to get some cough syrup and lozenges. haha hope i can recover by Friday! then singing on Saturday won't be a problem~!

By the way, Mathilda! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Its Mat Cow Day! K-union will ROCK this saturday!

Past 2 weeks have been sad and happy... the sad events made me real sad and helpless, but luckily i had a bunch of funny people who accompanied me, though they don't know what happened to me... frankly, i rather they don't know, then they won't ask, and i can behave like one siao person...

I went out with Angelia to have dinner, talked to her abit aboout what happened, then later that night, went singing with long time no see Tienkang and Ida. It was abit difficult to blend into their click that night, but still had some fun. Then went out 2-3 times with Joan, Ying, Shu Juan and Shu Zhen, to play pool, to eat mac, to kbox and did some funny nonsenses together. They may be young but they are very easy to get along and confortable to be with... i think of what crappy idea, they will also follow and do... won't say no good or anything... and they responded to my crappy jokes.... sometimes i'm the one behaving more like a small boy... kekez... those who know me, will know my naughty, playful, and crappy nonsenses. Yoz... thanks for the times~ Matty called me to go out, and i knew she wanted to talk to me regarding my problem, but i rejected... Sorry, but i know i'll be fine, didn't want to talk abt it that moment... thanks anyway~

During the past weeks, i also started going back to SWAMI... being able to put a smile on the elderly makes me feel happy~ some elderly & nurses whom i never talked to actually asked abt my injury, they know... :) I also started to learn guitar from a volunteer guitar club.... my hands abit retarded... haha... hope i can play some songs for people soon~

Dear and me are better now. Glad that she is able to give in this time, and take it as it is... Actually, i never expect things to go that way, but luckily its back on track... :)

Oh ya, I'm not using crutches liao... i forced myself to dumped it aside, cos i really missed taking buses! Limping is shag, i'm still enduring the difficulties i face, but i'll be fine... Some people, said i'm limping like Tie-tou in 'Yuan Dian'... People stop looking at me when i walk! kekez.. As long it doesn't kill me, it will make me stronger~

Hmm this coming Friday & Sunday, my volunteer group is giving Ang-pao to senior citizens in living in 1 or 2 rental flats....We are serving them buffet and putting up some performances, if you're free can join me....we need manpower to control and guide those elderly, as the places are abit inconvenient and we are talking abt 400 elderly..... 22/06, Friday, 5pm Henderson CC and 24/06, Sunday, 1pm Outram Secondary School.

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Something about words...

Something about words...

Words... can words accurately express emotions?

"I am happy...really really happy..."

Do you think i'm really happy?

Are you using your mind to think whether i'm really happy or not?
Or you simply think i'm happy if i say i'm happy?

Nowadays, people become more and more complicated, you probably think more than you should. But its not wrong, because of human nature, especially towards people you don't know well, people who hurted/harmed you before, people you have not met before...etc. Its difinitely not wrong to have a second thought.

I don't trust words easily anymore. Words itself cannot be compared with Words spoken tone; Words with spoken tone cannot be compared with words with spoken tone and body gesture; Words with spoken tone and body gesture cannot be compared with words with spoken tone, body gesture and eye contact. The more the merrier~ Because if a person is lying, it makes that person more expose to making mistakes and loopholes. Sometimes it also involve sincerity, if a person really wants to express emotions correctly, he/she will choose to speak face to face, eye to eye.... because it will let the person feel safest [at least i think so...]

just another weird hydrology i thought of....

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I've tried my best....

I've tried my best to let you understand...

I've tried... but you still don't believe it won't affect us... i know myself that its really a separate issue... why can't you understand even having experienced the happiness we shared... if i'm really affected by that incident... i won't had been able to give you my best for these 4 yrs.... please do not just say we won't be happy becos i can't forget... cos we did had our happiness.... didn't we? I told you everything, thinking you'll understand why i wanna know the truth... I even proudly said you'll understand de....but i'm wrong...

I'm so so so sad.... becos i'm not getting any faith, understanding from someone i love.... and on the other hand accidentally finding out a cold cold cold 'truth' of the 7 yrs mystery of my life... do you know how big this blow is to me.... i explain and explained so many times.... you only kept asking me to "go find out everything you want" "so that you won't be unhappy inside" "if i don't get satisfied by an answer, i'll nvr be happy" "if i don't forget, i'll never be happy"

Wanting to know something won't affect our love! Having memories doesn't mean i'll be unhappy for life! Remembering is easier than forgetting in terms of things in our long term memory... i'm not talking abt small small things we put in short term memory that has tendency of forgetting...Relationship isn't small small things.... In my memory doesn't mean i'll keep reminding myself abt it! Our mind is a write paper, memories are written in PERMANENT ink! there's no liquid paper that you can use to cover....

Not getting your understanding is the worst feeling in this episode... i won't promise things that i can't do.... its impossible to forget until a blank piece of paper... do you understand? if i can't promise i forget, then u don't think we gonna be together? why why why things are like this.... i'm sad... if you really think you can't accept me... if you really think i can't bring your happiness... if you really think our future is uncertain... even if you love me... the decision is clear right? like i always say... you have the full sovereignty to choose and decide... i'll respect your decision... My stand is i am not a computer, delete = forget permanently.... I love you and want to continue our relationship... the decision is yours....

Good People Wicked People Selfish People

Good People Wicked People Selfish People

Went checkup for my knee in the morning... Doctor gave me an extension of the MC, based on the degree of ability, and rate of recovery... My right thigh still look smaller than my left one... Right hamstring still tight, restricting my flexibity, bending+extension of my right leg...

Doctor was quite unhappy with my progress - could see from his expression... like he mentioned, the surgery is only 50% of the corrective help to my condition, another 50% goes to strenghtening and conditioning thru' physiotheraphy....

Sad news is this good consultant doctor, Dr David Paul Bell is leaving for Germany... My case will be handled over to another doctor, whom i will be seeing in 6 weeks time... Dr Bell is professional and understanding... He is so genuine that you will feel his sincerity instantly.... Without him taking over my case from my private doctor, Dr Chan Beng Kuen - also another superb doctor, i wouldn't have been able to received accurate and professional medical attention on my knee problem in govt hospital....

After knowing my MC being extended, its kind of a mixed feeling... definitely i was happy, because i really don't think i can resume work or even to travel the long distance to-n-fro, and i'm given more time to improve.... no need to stress about meeting the deadline... I was actually prepared to return to work, went to cut my hair etc... The other side of me is feeling lousy, cos tongues in camp will wag again and i'm going to be trapped at home for another 6 weeks...

I made a call back to camp informing them about my medical status... however, i received cold shoulder and warning that they might spot check me... also insisted me to go back camp endorse my mc - which is not really necessary...

The other time when i went back, some wicked spirit already said things like "only open 2 holes right?" "aiya your case nothing one la"... at medical ctr still have to tolerate those rude and lazy medics who asked and said things like "wah... how you injured one... teach me leh" "wah... 1 month mc i also want" My mum was with me... she was so so so angry and think they are simply irritating people... finally who got to know how her son is feeling when in camp dealing with those fuckers...

I don't see how enjoyable MC can be when i subjected to spot checks and military charges... anyway i'm not afraid, cos i stay at home all the time.... I guess going out to neighbourhood to eat, going for physio and going out on occasional weekends to social with friendly, aren't overboard or an offence rite?

Staying at home, especially only in my room, really making me autustic... i've been feeling bad-temper, frustration and anxiety.... i keep thinking of things.... alot of things.... of what people said to bullshit me, ofmy future, on of my injury, on what will happen when i go back camp, of people of many many things.... Even though i keeping myself busy at home doing my mum menu, maintaining website, writing songs, reading, chatting, tv, game... these just can't divert my thoughts of how people will be thinking about my absence... i'm telling you that those people in camp are that scary.... i just feel insecure about those people....

And then other than the camp people, there is another group of people whom always bother me with questions or asking me to go out unnecessarily... they just don't know what kind of situation i'm in... they only want to meet their objectives... and i going to say that its those religious youngster, who thinks too positively about the world.... please... don't keep asking me out... i see no purpose and meaning... and i seriously not religous... i say again.. "You control your life, religous is a teaching that straighten your thinking, a corrective action, which helps you in dealing with things... I believe it is ultimately within our control and our choice. You are the one who accepted your god in the first place, isn't it your choice?" I'm not against religous, i think it is a good thing for people... but i'm against people who only think of accomplishing self-goal, ignoring relationship and do not know the truth of reality.... If you want to ask me there, don't force... i will go one... really, otherwise you wouldn't have known me there at the holy place...

Haiz... life is full of probabilities... don't think cannot... think think think end up think too much.... teach me how to gauge please...

Liu Geng Hong's 2nd Album

Liu Geng Hong's 2nd Album
"City of Angels"
"天使之城-迦南美地"














Mr Muscle, 刘耕宏 -Will Liu, just released his 2nd Album, "City Of Angels"...
He released his 1st Album last year and had quite a few memorable songs e.g 彩虹天堂, 心灵交战, 情画. With the appearance and campaign support by Jay , alot of Jay fans also supported him... However, some hard-core fans of Jay, doubted 刘耕宏's ability to compose those nice songs....

This time round, his 2nd album Jay didn't involved in the making, 刘耕宏 composed almost all of the songs in this album... After listening some of the songs online, i was quite disappointed, cos i missed those 'dark-feel' songs in the previous album... hmm this time round, his love songs are 'brighter', and tempo of songs are lighter too... other than this change in mood, i felt this album has some christianity-influenced which i'm wondering if it should be in a pop-music setup... in some songs there were mentions of places named in bible, including a god praising song.

Overall, i feel the songs reflects his efforts of establishing his music.. Shown more of his style rather than a replica of Jay's music... I think you will accept it better after a few play of the CD... These are some songs that you might want to preview before buying... His 1st campaigning song, 迦南美地 is one that left some impression, another love song is 什么是爱, which is playing now... simple and nice lyrics... next song is a song he wrote for his good friend, none other than Jay... the lyrics are provided below... you will find it quite 'funny'... but its a song with a strong statement to people who thinks he is just a shadow behind Jay, telling them not to support him because of Jay... He wants to make his name known for his efforts and ability...

"碎碎念"
我有一个朋友
他总是被监视一举一动
他已经习惯在闪躲
暗地里的跟踪 让人心痛
快乐老总逃不了的空洞
音乐中才能够听到他失去的自由
我们交情很久 我们认识已经很久
以前 想要找到陶醉的心要找到我
我们情同手足但不代表我就是他
请不要再问我他交了几个女朋友
这问题到底 谁该谁去烦恼
想知道 那就麻烦各位自己去找
因为我们大家都只是好朋友别害我出卖朋友 请你不要再来问我
我有我的音乐 我的事情没有~
没什么障碍不能跨越 我要~极限
彼此看我的身材象不象 健身教练
听听着音乐 进入意想的世界
不想再跟谁比帅 我就是自成一派
不想耍不择手段 no no 不要耍赖
不想要活得无奈 生命中要有挑战
不想要被现实带坏 no no不要乱盖
我永远不会放弃追求梦想证明自己
我相信坚持下去总有一天会有奇迹
其实到了现在 我还是有点想念
那跟着我的后面 有点腼腆[missing lyrics]
彼此见能跟陌生人说话 不到两句的画面
不管世事如何的转变~
碎碎念hei 给你些建议
你要牢记别忘记谨记别忘记
别让名誉搞乱你的生命
别让生活变成一场游戏
你有你的目的 要懂得感谢上帝
知道自己是多么幸运
现在你有许多的朋友
各形 各色千百种
常有一堆人在跟着你走
就算事情再多 也要常常思索
希望大家都是真心交你这个朋友
不论平伏起落 都能长长久久
我的朋友~~~

Normal Life

I Just Want My Life To Be Normal

Why can't my life be like the person next to me... have father, mother... , uses right hand, go primary sch [EM2], secondary sch [EXP], go Poly/JC....?

Really!!!.... throw a stone and it will hit people who go thru the 'normal' route....

I like to be normal...
then i don't need to think and worry so much....
i don't need to bang into walls 100000 times....
i don't need to be special, need special arrangement...
i don't need to go a big round wasting my youth....

You can say i'm still young...
uncle also can go back to study...
Fuck YOU! its different context!

ARgh! FUCK.... i just don't know what to say....
I'm simply mad at myself...
why i use left hand?
why i write so slow?
why i failed maths?
why i failed in so many things...?

Yaya... i failed becos i think i will fail... i think like failure..
ya, i don't have positive mindset....
FUCK those inspirational books...
WHO THE HELL WANT TO FAIL?

5 years later...
when i want to further study...
i'm faced with the some problem 5 yrs ago...
what have i done to improve my status and ability to fight reality?
I'd thought of giving reality a good fight by getting something out of JI/MI...
but in the end...
nothing... its still down to my O lvls, a certification without maths...

yaya... try this method try that method....
its like send me to court to listen to verdict....
i didn't do very lousy for O levels.... only that i failed maths...
i don't deserve the treatment....

I really didn't want to blog this procastinating entry... i was surposed to be listing courses that i'm interested to study, and hope to seek suggestions.... i really did plan to write that after some research.... but i don't know why i end up writing my nonsense again....

i'm sad... really sad... maybe...

I only wanted to have a more secured future...
I just wanted to be a professional 'something', rather than a jack of all trades...

P.S: don't comment anything... i don't want to see or know...

Insomnia Nonsense

Insomnia Nonsense

I've tried to sleep early, i've tried to sleep late.... but i'm still waking up in the middle of the night, or early morning... body alarm.... its time for medication...

i'm feeling really down...
i'm very easily irritated
very hot tempered
very violent...
i'm feeling weak...
i'm feeling pale...

i want to be normal...
i want to go out and walk normally...
but i can't go out...
but i can't walk properly...
i don't want to go back to camp...
i think i deserve and needs a longer rest...
but no one will bother how i feel...
i'm a puppet controlled by life...

i don't want people to think i'm enjoying my mc...
and think its time for me to work again...
the fact is i didn't enjoy a single bit of this mc...
and please don't think that my surgery is just opening 2 holes...
its 2 holes,1 long cut and many many more....
fuck those bitches & bastards in camp who are so so evil to me...

i'm fucking mad...
fucking angry...
i've tried to put it aside...
but whenever provoked...
everything comes back and snow-ball as one big reaction...
its a tsunami tragic in my head...

don't try to talk me out of it...
i'm not interested in abit...
cos it only make me feel worse...
my only hope is that those who are in control of situation would give some leeway...
give me a breather...
and let me have control of my life...

i believe in no god...
cos other than law...
i'm in control of my life...
its all in our minds...

Same Old Nagging

Same Old Nagging

I'm going to complain how inconvenient it is to be handicap... i'm lucky that i'm a temporary semi-handicap...<-- cool term :X anyway... i hate taking taxi everywhere.... neither do i like to take trains where the facilities are not totally handicap friendly [at least BP LRT to MRT isn't friendly], and the terrible mouths and eyes of Singaporeans... really only Singaporeans start their mouth engine or eyes rolling when they see me on train... its like i'm wearing my underwear outside.... common lah its just a knee brace and 1 pair of crutches... even when i attempt to hide the knee brace underneath my 'barely baggy enough' jeans... they still looked at me... kekez... on normal days i'll feel damn great.. haha... like celebrity... :p not true... joking only... anyway, some probably say...don't go out la... sometimes, going out is not something i want to do... look at the number of physio sessions and the location.... other than that... pls kindly consider that i'd stayed at home almost everyday... and that they give me back the weekends, if i don't spend them during MC... i know i should refrain from going out... and i am doing so, obeying rules... can come visit me, from mon to fri + sunday, opening hrs from 6am - 6am daily [excluding physio days]... haha... people pls do not think that getting MC is a happy thing... especially when i'm still serving... my house is no different from the cages in SPCA [can't say zoo or birdpark cos both no obvious cages]...

another thing abt my leg is that its still painful... like girl like that, the word is unpredictable... and look at my right thigh muscle... wah like old man's leg [soft, flabby and small], knee still swelling bigger than the left... i'm like an old man... a few flight of stairs can take my life away... and the thought of my MC is ending, my feelings contradicts~ cos i'm not going to work in current condition... haiz... sadly no one will understand~! argH!

My thigh and quads muscles' differences..

my normal left knee VS swelling right knee

Sing Sang Sung Sing Song....

WELCOME TO MY HYDROLOGY!

haha... finally.... after so long... i've moved my moods from homepage to blogger... now its call Hydrology~ no need me to elaborate why liao ba... guess everyones clever enough to understand why... haha... hope you guys accept the changes i made...

hmmm... haha this week i sang to my content... went with Glyn, Mat, Jacky last sat... it was time for our monthly singing gathering... as usual we went all out to have fun... after singing... for the first time we had supper together at "Xin Wang"... while Q-in we saw Belinda Lee, Li Wei Lian [i don't know him but Glyn & Mat said he is also a celebrity] and their friend.... they were asking me if we were in Q... haha it was quite obvious lah...i replied, "yes and those people behind are also in Q..." then they still went to ask the waitresses.... aiyo~ i'm not a bully or liar leh.. i'm a honest boy! :X

anyway here are some videos, voice recordings and photos to share...

Jacky singing Gary's song again~

The MESS!

Yummy Contestant 1

Yummy Contestant 2

Yummy Contestant 3

Yummy Contestant 4

first up is Jacky singing "Ai Cuo"



Next is Mathilda & Jacky singing a duet, "I Still Believe"



Glynis~ singing "Ren Zhi"


Me & Jacky Singing "Bei Pan"



now is Mathilda's turn to win your ears~ with "Superwoman"



And lastly, Me singing "Can Fei"




hahaha... after listening to our amateur singing... its still time for more singing... now in the form of voice recordings... these are some of the better ones out of the 30 files we recorded... haha..

"Wo Ke Yi" (spoil liao lah version) - Me and Jacky: haha i spoilt my singing~

"Wo Hen Xiang Shuo" - Me and Mat: luckily she saved my singing

"Feng" - Mat & Glyn: wow wow~!

"High High High" - Glyn & Mat

"Zhuan Shu Tian Shi" - Me & Jacky

"Cai Hong Tian Tang" - Me & Jacky

"Wo Yao Kuai Le" - Jacky: wow~ challenged A-mei leh...

"Yi Zhi" - Me: another zao sia singing~

"Shan Hu Hai" - Mat & Jacky

alright... guess you had enough of our singing...
btw, try not to d/l all the songs at one time.. cos got limited bandwidth... if you have problems d/l can wait for a while then d/l or get the files from me... :p
hahaha.... thats all for my 1st Hydrology~

2 May 2007 [Previous Post]

Mr Handicap
Its been 2 weeks after surgery, and life has been inconvenient... initially, i had to get my buddies [Boon Seng, Raymond, Kai Cheng] to help me off my bed to settle the 'releasing' problem.... i couldn't get off the hospital bed without help, and my bladder almost burst, after it reservoired many many hrs of 'water'... i'd done it on bed, with an urinal but i ended up falling a slp while waiting for 'it' to come... after that i totally couldn't do it... hence rendered my buddies' help.... luckily they were there at different timings keke... the urinal was abt 2/3 filled~ imagine that~ LOL...

Then came problems travelling... as i'm walking with crutches and my legs cannot bend totally... bus is ruled out... left with cab and mrt... which i'm using them as transport back to cgh for physio...don't ask me y not a nearer hospital, i'd answered it 10000 times.... anyway, the other day, i was quarrelling with my mum, as she insisted on sending me there... i know she's tired and it serves no purpose for her to be there, furthermore the long waiting hrs.... and i was telling her with confidence that i can make my way slowly to hospital, sure got people give me seats in train... don't worry.... haha... and i was totally wrong, after 2 trips on 4 mrt and 4 lrts... only a father carrying a baby in arms gave his seat to me.... i was really paiseh when he gave me his seat...during the most of the rest of my journey, i was standing with 1 and a half leg, leaning on the walls/doors of trains, until i find myself seats after no one is contesting for it..... i really thought it wouldn't be a problem to find seats... but i was sooooooooo wrong... disappointed~ another thing was that people looked at me like i'm an alien, a sinner, or whatever else.... point point,, stare stare, glance glance.... damn irritating... sianz...

Frankly, i think being a handicap in singapore is still to a large extent inconvenient and irritating....I really miss taking buses, cos taking bus is very much more faster than taking mrt for some places... esp. when most buses at bt panjang travels on expressways~....

Hmm... so far my leg still quite lousy.... i'm still waking up early by the pain when effects of painkillers wear-off... still using 2 crutches... my right leg is still weak, can't even lift whole leg up when sitting with 2 legs straight... yup, hence i wonder how am i able to meet the deadline - 20th may, MC's last day...wah lau... michael owen also need 11 months to return to soccer field, what is my 1 month? hmm, hopefully i can get an extension, otherwise it would be my worst nightmare cos like i said travelling is a problem i'm facing~ the average time taken to travel to work is 1.5hr - 2.0 hrs, now with disabilities, the timing will increase.... and morning i've only limited time for travelling as some services don't start so early~.... argh sianz....

my right leg with knee brace

my new 'accessories'

2 May 2007 [Previous Entry]

22 April 2007, 10:00 am [Previous Entry]

First 2 Hospitalisation of my life
My first two hospitalisation stay of my life [excluding the very first one 23 yrs ago], were back to back winthin a week. I was surposed to go for surgery on 12th april, but my stomach protested in the early morning of 12th, cold sweat + severe pain, i was 'sleeping' in the toilet... tried to clear my bowel to ease the pain, but it didn't helped... damn worried...

However, i was determined to go for surgery that day, after all the plannings i've made... mum, uncle, and ml sent me to hospital... but i was refused from surgery... it was so so disappointing... hated myself, didn't know why so heng...

after a short rest at day surgery's ward, i went to A&E to deal with my stomach... doc gave several press on my abdominal, and i 'ouched' the most around the right side, so he suspected that i was having appendicitis, ordered me to be hospitalised for observation....and after 5 hrs of waiting for the bed, i finally landed on ward 36 bed 18...

During the stay, i was poked in the ass by 2 doctors, went for an x-ray, and a CT scan, found tiny stones in my kidney, tummy pressed by don't know how many doctors, and given the 'fleet' in my ass by a nurse to clear my bowel.... the conclusion is i wasn't having any appendicitis. they guesses it was gastric flu and digestive problem... i was then discharged on monday, 16th...

actually this stay wasn't so bad, because the nurses were very caring, and there is an auntie in-charge of f&b wo will give us treats of milo & roti, and occasionally better hospital meals... keke... she's very jovial and cute... if u happened to be staying in ward 36, looked out for mdm tan! kekez... she never fail to put a smile on the patients and familes' faces.... another reward of the stay is lottery prize, my buddy went to buy my number 3618, i shared half with him, and it was one of the winning numbers in starters on sunday... kekekz... my first stay in hospital, sure must buy... kekez....

On the 19th, i went to CGH again, now finally for my knee surgery... at first, at the ward of day surgery, it was packed with patients and relatives... then i was tranported to another corner.... to wait for surgery, the number of reduced, only saw nurses in surgery costumes, then i was pushed into another room, who there was no one.... wah... i felt like i was in a mortuary, damn eerie~ and finally into operation room the doctors prepare me for surgery... then into the operating threatre, i was given the anaesthetic... after that... i was gone... gone to darkness kingdom for 3-4 hrs.... when i regain slight conscious was on my way to ward, by the way i was admited back to the same ward! ward 36! kekez so coincidence haha.... head was spinning madly.... when i reached my bed, i felt asleep again.... then 1 hr later, i woke up and i saw ml walking into the room... her timing very nice.... like tv drama... kekez... then i vomited some greenish fluid.... right leg was in terrible pain... beneath the knee brace[something like the one stone cold wears] was an ice water bag, to compress and cool the swelling on my knee..... the water bag compressed my wound till damn pain.... couldn't sleep that night... at first was because i had trouble urinating - i don't know how to urine while laying on bed, damn stress, bladder was tight, but i just can't release it..... it was after i fell asleep for 1 1/2 hr after while trying to urine, that i was more relax and finally urined! it was already 4 am but soon after that, my knee's pain agravated.... the worst pain i've experienced... called for nurse, but she said that i can only received the next dose of painkiller injection at 6am... then there goes my other 2 hrs of sleep!!

In the morning i was like a zombie, dark rings were as dark as panda's.... i still couldn't move my right leg much, but my doctor was super optimistic, say i could discharge if i want to... then came my physiotherapist, who was also very ortimistic, wanted to get me walking, but i ended up having a black-out... that was when she decided to be less optimistic... kekekez... guess thay don't know the difference of me and other similar patients.... i was injured almost a yr ago, quads muscle shrinked more than others who got it treated earlier.... i was feeling bored most of the time.... can't wait to be discharged but seems like i still have difficulties walking with crutches... then another day past... i was feeling better,because there was less swelling.... then i passed my physio's walking test, and i was allowed to be discharged..... and finally home!

I would like to give special thanks to the people who came to visit, despite the distance away from west~... kekez, Top of the list is meilian, who came everyday from jurong west to simei to shower me love and care~ 2nd, boon seng, also came almost everyday to talk cock with me and bought me the winning lottery ticket...., 3rd, raymond who came quite frequently even during his duties, where he had to send people to cgh, he would drop by to buy me stuffs..... then my mummy and uncle who 'bargeed' into the ward in wee hours after their business... and also amanda, anthony, foo, and kaicheng... who visited me and bought me goodies.......and not forgeting those who gave me their well wishes thru' sms and phone calls..... jasmine, joseph, janet, jae, mathilda, qinhua and those whom i might have missed out... and lastly, i'm gonna MC till 20th may [short but hope for more kekez].... yeah~ kekez... still have to back CGH for physio ad other appointments,,, i wonder how.. later kena stuck at train doors.. LOL~

22 April 2007, 10:00 am [Previous Entry]