I've tried my best....

I've tried my best to let you understand...

I've tried... but you still don't believe it won't affect us... i know myself that its really a separate issue... why can't you understand even having experienced the happiness we shared... if i'm really affected by that incident... i won't had been able to give you my best for these 4 yrs.... please do not just say we won't be happy becos i can't forget... cos we did had our happiness.... didn't we? I told you everything, thinking you'll understand why i wanna know the truth... I even proudly said you'll understand de....but i'm wrong...

I'm so so so sad.... becos i'm not getting any faith, understanding from someone i love.... and on the other hand accidentally finding out a cold cold cold 'truth' of the 7 yrs mystery of my life... do you know how big this blow is to me.... i explain and explained so many times.... you only kept asking me to "go find out everything you want" "so that you won't be unhappy inside" "if i don't get satisfied by an answer, i'll nvr be happy" "if i don't forget, i'll never be happy"

Wanting to know something won't affect our love! Having memories doesn't mean i'll be unhappy for life! Remembering is easier than forgetting in terms of things in our long term memory... i'm not talking abt small small things we put in short term memory that has tendency of forgetting...Relationship isn't small small things.... In my memory doesn't mean i'll keep reminding myself abt it! Our mind is a write paper, memories are written in PERMANENT ink! there's no liquid paper that you can use to cover....

Not getting your understanding is the worst feeling in this episode... i won't promise things that i can't do.... its impossible to forget until a blank piece of paper... do you understand? if i can't promise i forget, then u don't think we gonna be together? why why why things are like this.... i'm sad... if you really think you can't accept me... if you really think i can't bring your happiness... if you really think our future is uncertain... even if you love me... the decision is clear right? like i always say... you have the full sovereignty to choose and decide... i'll respect your decision... My stand is i am not a computer, delete = forget permanently.... I love you and want to continue our relationship... the decision is yours....