Normal Life

I Just Want My Life To Be Normal

Why can't my life be like the person next to me... have father, mother... , uses right hand, go primary sch [EM2], secondary sch [EXP], go Poly/JC....?

Really!!!.... throw a stone and it will hit people who go thru the 'normal' route....

I like to be normal...
then i don't need to think and worry so much....
i don't need to bang into walls 100000 times....
i don't need to be special, need special arrangement...
i don't need to go a big round wasting my youth....

You can say i'm still young...
uncle also can go back to study...
Fuck YOU! its different context!

ARgh! FUCK.... i just don't know what to say....
I'm simply mad at myself...
why i use left hand?
why i write so slow?
why i failed maths?
why i failed in so many things...?

Yaya... i failed becos i think i will fail... i think like failure..
ya, i don't have positive mindset....
FUCK those inspirational books...
WHO THE HELL WANT TO FAIL?

5 years later...
when i want to further study...
i'm faced with the some problem 5 yrs ago...
what have i done to improve my status and ability to fight reality?
I'd thought of giving reality a good fight by getting something out of JI/MI...
but in the end...
nothing... its still down to my O lvls, a certification without maths...

yaya... try this method try that method....
its like send me to court to listen to verdict....
i didn't do very lousy for O levels.... only that i failed maths...
i don't deserve the treatment....

I really didn't want to blog this procastinating entry... i was surposed to be listing courses that i'm interested to study, and hope to seek suggestions.... i really did plan to write that after some research.... but i don't know why i end up writing my nonsense again....

i'm sad... really sad... maybe...

I only wanted to have a more secured future...
I just wanted to be a professional 'something', rather than a jack of all trades...

P.S: don't comment anything... i don't want to see or know...