Saturday, 17 January 2009

16 days of 2009

16 Days of 2009

i'm writing again after 3 months of absence... i was overwhelmed by the workload in the last few months of 2008... promoted to be a 'manager' for recruitment, had pay-raise... sounds good... but it wasn't... i was more like a worker then a manager... there were little space for my opinions, hence i decided to fire the company... It made me feel more like working for myself, just be good in my Financial Consultant career, don't bother about company... and i managed to ditch the job and started my full commitment on the last week of 2008...

I was hoping for a good 2009, a good and refreshing start... but right at the 1st day of 2009, i lost my relationship...later i had allergy and my face had some rashes + my acne problem resulted from the 2-3 months of busy schedule, i feel worse... then i had 1 of the saddest birthday ever... however i must still thanks Chester, Dorine, Boon Seng, Shirley and Lionel for celebrating with me on 2 occasions. I feel sad, depressed these day... partly caused my the medication i'm taking to control acne... then today, i went for a 2nd audition of a special singing class intake, but i screwed it up myself... i purposely invited miaoru to help me with my song-writing the day before, we spent the whole afternoon and midnite trying to complete the song i wrote... i was so excited, but at the audition i totally disappointed myself and miaoru...倒影 was one of the songs i specially wrote and very much wanted it to be completed, yet i wasted a good chance to showcase it... I'm okay if i don't get into the class, but i'm not okay that i didn't do my best.... i hate myself... its all my fault!

2009 is full of shit! Please give me my well-deserved good year! I AM SAD!!! SAD!!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING NOW... Why I feel like some people are avoiding me...? I never even ask them buy anything from me! Why I am I feeling like there's no one I can turn to or be with in the middle of the nite, when i often feel worse...? I ended up driving rounds and rounds and rounds and rounds... Why some people forever thinks I'm like this and like that...? If you don't bother to see me, or know me more, please don't think or say i'm this and that... I HATE ALL OF YOU!!! Can someone let me sing to the world, sing out my story, my unhappiness...? Why is there no powerful-somebody appreciate me? I AM SIAO! as crazy as the song that is playing now... i love this song... the crazy piano, the rock, and the singing... Xiao Hong Ren rox! aHHhHHhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

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