[-h2o-]'s Hydrology

2010-05-10T02:16:00.002+08:00

i just want to scream, shout...... argh~... i cant say anything, cos i also dont know why... i'm in a long transition stage - which im neither nor....

Life is Full of Surprises

2010-03-08T04:34:00.004+08:00

Life is Full of Surprises

January: I tried to avoid all celebrations... i realised the only way to make myself feel everyday is the same and wont feel different is to make it a normal day, dont celebrate... but i made an exception for BS cos he organised it months ahead - my advanced birthday dinner with BS, Lion, Ms A, A-Linn, Carebear Haze, and 'Aunty' Angel... I know it will break Miss J's heart to just reject the dinner and just went home, but i did... i had to do it even if im unwilling to see you disappointed... Nevertheless, i can feel that u tried to move on, and i dont want to let anything hold u back... maybe i shouldnt even say here... but i am certain now your life is happier with your friends and maybe someone special already...anyway its 2 months ago... i am cold-hearted maybe, but i dont want to be a heart-breaker...

had a successful district retreat and planning session organised in JB, with help of Triston, and the supporting staffs to execute the plan with me.. single-handedly planned it with Triston's advices, and this event positioned me better in the district, at least people are more accepting... and the existing managers were praising me and giving me toasts for the effort... my 1st time in life to down 1 can of beer in within 5 mins... thereafter, was made to drink more... i am a lousy drinker, 2 n half cans and i was KO... i dont like to drink, but that night was really happy and had to give these managers face, so drank and drunk... vomited all over the toilets basin and toilet bowl... slept in toilet-shower room till 2 guys cant to help me out and back to our chalet unit... slept till 3-4am then woke up chit chatted with a few people till they all slept, all beds and floor were occupied, hence i went to sleep in my car till morning...

Recruited my 1st consultant, Salma... thereafter convinced 2 others... but later somethings happened and gone... left with Salma, and i was super busy with appts, coaching and recruitment... Super packed January...

Someone made used of me, which made me totally not interested... but i was still nice to do the favour to my best... spent a day and had fun (minus the unhappiness of the person's behaviour)... so disappointed... luckily i never really put myself into anything...

i just want to be single for as long as i really meet someone understanding, and on top of that having my career stablise... time is already so precious in the busy period, i dont wanna waste it on certain people...

February: Busy schedule continues till CNY... wanted to work but wasn't being occupied, so went out to alot of places... Saw that 'Pigs' - lunar zodiac, has a good year ahead... being in bad luck for a few years, i am pleased to know i will have a good year ahead... think somethings when something is going to happen, i cant avoid it... especially when its an opportunity.... i was in a dilemma but i went on for it... i hope it can blossom into something 'S'pecial...

relatively happy february after cny...maximised my time well; accompanied salma to appointments, provided all the trainings i can give and planned how to run the activities management for my team... my agency will have a unique difference from the rest... i will make it happen in the most positive way... i lost quite a lot of time for recruitment.. but it was worthwhile, becos Salma achieved her DD Award and was top 5 consultant in my district for month of February...

2009-12-29T03:42:00.002+08:00

Im surposed to rest early tonite, cos im feeling feverish... but i couldnt get to sleep after watching a few episodes of "Hi My Sweetheart"... I laughed, i cried...

Im just feeling emo... I tried to bottle it for quite awhile... now, its just one of those opportunities to release...

I thought I would be thinking less, if i strive at work... but still no matter how busy, there will still be times like now... im falling ill... hoping to have some care... looking at happy faces, i'll feel sad... looking at happy faces, i'll oso feel sad... how will i be happy?

i really have no idea how to spend festive... I really dont know who is the one i wanna spend with... even if i hate to be alone, i will still rather be alone... pls dont attempt to ask me out... i'll probably will say im going out with friends...

To those that i care for, please be happy... and i will be happy for you... hopefully...

i am really sad... i dont care how you view me... i just wanna say im sad...

2 Months of Changes

2009-12-24T04:30:00.003+08:00

2 Months of Changes

Its been 2 months in my new company... Things are generally going smoothly... Challenges were all over the 2 months... But im staying positive about the outlook of my future here... Now, an Associate Agnecy Leader, im aiming to be Associate District Manager in 6 months time instead of 12 months... Recruitment is still my forte, with just 3 days of recruitment, i've found my number team member, day 4, i found my number 2 and a potential 3... Now i truly believed people in the past joined because of my convincing and sharing... My Goal is to have 20 team members within a year, and to clinch the Top Recruiter, Top New Unit Supervisor Awards... It will be beyond your imagination how much i want success and how far im thinking...

I rather be all alone if I dont have a successful career...

Almost 1 year of singlehood, the ups and downs over these few months in relationship and career, really made me a better person...

I'm not able to write frequently... not only because i'm busy, but im just unable to write my feelings down... i really rather write as an anonymous... i just prefer to keep things with myself... let ppl assume as much as they want... I know myself the best will do... although it sucks to be misunderstood and not getting the necessary attention...

Disappearing memories..

2009-10-22T01:34:00.004+08:00

Memories disappearing in 7 days...

With geocities.com closing... my homepage: The Sea Of Stars, that i've created years ago will be disappearing too... those memories, hardwork will go gone soon... wont be saving, too many things to save... really cant imagine that day to come... want to see visit The Sea of Stars? click on the link by the side...

I think I...

2009-10-16T03:58:00.003+08:00

I think I...

After you invested, you will have feelings... no matter how long or what happens...

Things happen for a reason... even if im missing certain past... it is a fact that things are different...

sad... but who knows what will happen in future... the only thing i can do, is to continue moving on and find out...

For friends who were not informed... I declare that I've resigned from Prudential officially... one of the toughest choices i've made and this event joins the few major changes in 2009 - the rollercoaster year...

Its been 2 weeks since tendering my letter of resignation, and had completed my 2 weeks notice... it was a surprise decision... i shocked myself and some people... as mentioned in my letter, i regret that my decision somehow short change my clients, in terms of the promise of commitment and service....but i'm glad some of you are standing on my side, cheering and supporting me...thank you! i've given them the assurance that i'll still be the one they can look for, should there be any events of misfortunate happen...

there's nothing much i wanna talk about why i made this decision... i just wanna move on... the experience that i've accumulated over the 2 years, made me a different person... i dont want to waste the effort and experience i have, thus i am still going to continue my quest in financial planning... there are a few offers that made me feel recharged and at least appreciated once again... I am taking my time to look around, hopefully things will be better in 2010...

Left Right or?

2009-10-09T00:36:00.002+08:00

Turn Left or Right...or?

I made another difficult decision in 2009... another big reset of my life... but as I was relatively sure about my next move, I was enlightened of certain reality... Suddenly im lost again...

WATERMAN!

2009-08-29T05:54:00.003+08:00

我是救世Waterman!

This guy stole my identity... haha...this guy here also wanna associate to water, he is WATERMAN! he is really good~! meaningful cute songs singing daily kind acts, environmental convservation, and drinking water...

Im impressed with the company's marketing team... a guy in hero's tight-fitting costume singing 'heroic' songs... Save the Earth! Save our Environment! He is also doing alot of charity works, looks like he is doing what i wanna do... feel like joining him... i am [-h2o-]!

here are some mv clips... enjoy... :)

救世Waterman

最美麗的臉

Yes I Do!

Super Random Message to All

2009-08-20T05:16:00.005+08:00

Super Random Message to All

I'm not victimisting myself, neither have i been making myself look pitiful... In the first place, its all guessing and assumptions.. I am not the sort that will do things for selfish purposes or expect things in return.. there are things i just want it to be kept to myself.. And I MEAN to myself, dont even wanna speak about it..

I knew there are there something wrong these days... i admired those who can play the 'game' well... im not interested in playing k... Somehow, im just curious about what were talked and how some of you are starting to think of me... I think its better we mind our own business la... i do welcome cares and concerns, but not busybody-talk, if u like do that, i can recommend you to SPH to become a reporter... please spare a thought for me (oh im wrong, to detractors, i guess u dont know how to) some things said will only make things worse, dont scare people away from me (fine, to those who genuinely wanna do damage on me) shit... i dont know what the hell lor.. can we reset everything...? i know in some of your lives, there's no such person like me, too nice to be true? haha i am thinking too highly of myself, but hey its a fact that i am nice, and dont take things for granted! you are only killing the nice spirit in me to become a devil...bad news for you, i am still upholding my morals and belief... nobody can make me believe in what i dont believe in... however, you want to interpret this entry, i dont care le, cos some damages were done and what is there to lose anymore...?

if you care, give me a call, ask me out, talk to me, listen to me...

its funny how people doubt my intentions, i just innocently wanna help for example people who needs financial planning, they can protectively think i wanna sell things... its not purely these people's fault ba... cos i have some lousy FCs around me who laughed at how stupid i am not to sell products that bring most commission.. im like what-the-hell, sad for those who bought from them... but its sad lah... people still like to go to them... the world is unfair, how on earth can a little effort i do change the world? i am super naive... argh~ never mind, continue buying from them ba... let me die from the trade... its a ridiculous world... i only wanna a hao ren!! can god be nice to me...? now i know why good people die early, cos the air is polluted, the world is filled with evil...

having headaches again these day, somehow wishing that its a tumour in head... if the world is so evil, please make my wish come true... haha... hahahahahaha... i wont seek treatment, but please give me good signals before i know i have it (at least 9 months to 1 year) can buy more insurance on me for my family...

hahahahahaa...

Hao Ren

Singout09 Grand Finals

2009-08-10T07:52:00.007+08:00

Singout09 Grand Finals

What a day! After so many months, the Grand Finals finally came, and I'm happy to be able to host the entire competition from QF1 to Grand Finals. Got to know more acqaintances and some new friends along the way. Everyone says that Singout09's contestants are better than Singout08's, i do agree in terms of performance's standard. I'm impressed with some of the contestants's star quality.

I have to say again, I'm grateful to be given the chance to host round after round. After all, I'm not a student of MS, and the fact that there are so many talented students. I have to really thanks those people who were supportive of me hosting the show. I really need those support, because they are motivations and encouragements to me. Alot of things happened along the way, sometimes, I had to sacrifice some work-related things to go for rehearsal and had some conflict with some people at work, and the many parking coupons i teared, the few parking summons, and other shits that happened turned me off at times. However, everytime when i see people laughed, smiled and like my hosting, everything was worth it... Many asked if i'm paid, and when i said no, they will ask why still take the task... To me its a good learning experience and good exposure for myself. At least after hosting Singout09, i know about why people like about my hosting and what are the things i need to improve on... Thanks to some of the praises and some constructive suggestion and sincere comments.

Also thanks for giving me the Best Host Award - i know its an extra effort and surprise, the committee prepared for me... I appreciate it... :)

I'm giving myself 70/100 for the finals. I did eat quite a lot of screws here and there thru-out the show, and my stress management has lots of room for improvement. Overall, i think my language ability, humour and natural way of hosting were the plus points, and i did receive some good comments, and credits. I like the chemistry me and Zhuming built along the way. Zhuming was stable and more calm than i am, he was able to deliver his word well.

Congrats to all finalists! You are all winners! Nobody went back with nothing after all~ :)

Look forward to the upcoming post Singout09 gathering and Singout2010!

Untitled entry

2009-08-05T09:15:00.006+08:00

I think things are slowly getting better for business... appt rate resuming; ppl whom i was surposed to meet 0.5 to 1 yr ago, without constant contacting, they still remember me and are still friendly; more referrals... im really glad about it... hopefully it wont slow down again... funny thing abt sales, is that they like to come when i'm busy... but I do quite enjoy to be busy... at least i know im alive!

This week, half of it is going to preparation for Singout09 finals... I've got quite alot of information and advertising script to deliver on the finals.. I'm glad to host the finals, making it a combo from Quarters-finals to Semi-finals and now... Grand Finals! Have to really thanks MS and the committee in placing their trust in me.. The hosting experience thru-out Singout09 was great! I had the flexibility in my speech even though sometimes i tend to be politically wrong! :p Thats my style in hosting, i guess.. Some contestants from the open group(senior citizens) praised me for my hosting, and I'm flattered. Im also happy to be able to mingle around with the contestants, cos i feel that interaction between hosts and ppl in the show is one of the most impt element to the success of the show... We can communicate better on stage with the extra understanding of individual's character... Anyway, all the best to the finalists!

Recently also completed the series of singing giggs for heartland events. Am also happy to have the chance to perform, thanks to XL Laoshi for making the arrangements. Most of the crowd i sang to were kids and senior citizens who were there to wait for lucky draw. Haha... not there to listen to me lah... some kids were running here and there... but i did my best to catch their attention with my singing and the much-complaint talking... i was complaint to talk too much... yup, i talk alot lah, but thats just because my heart is there to perform, to hype the crowd, not to sing and go... nevertheless, its also not good to talk too much... have to admit im a long-winded uncle... anyway, out of the 4 shows, im most happy with the last one at Teban Gardens, probably because I feel that the 3rd one was not up to my expectation plus the complaints... Good thing to end it with a high note, too bad i didnt video the good memories down... Actually..still got praises from some ppl at the giggs also, but they normally wont make it official...Collin has an inbuilt self-reflecting software, i know myself what i didnt do well, what i did... thats what experiences are for, yeah... i'll remind myself to be better.. :)

Life is always fair in some way its unfair... becos when we get some thing in life, we lose some thing else too; when we have some advantages, we'll also have some disadvantages... to be frank, im still stuck in tight financial situation, and i think it will continue for at least another 5 months, even if sales is better... i really hope i can pull-thru this by-far my worse time of life... im dreaming of ppl around me asking to pay this and that... nitemares! its tormenting my mental health at times... the other thing that is relatively bothering me more these day is abt something i wont say... haha... this sentence is so Collin... write here but dont want to tell... i just have to say im sad... really sad... i seriously doubt it was a result of over-thinking and over-sensitivity... cos there's alot of contrast from previous and now...and I dont know what to do... to tell or not to tell, to do or not to do... i really dont know what to believe, what not to...think for now, i'll just go by my instincts that i shld not disturb ur life, by keeping our lines parallel with some distances apart...

think im over relying on lyrics/poem writing to vent my tsunami of thoughts and emotions... cos there is really an increase in my hydro-nonsenses... thats all folks.. im evaporating... condense again next time...

Choices & Paths...

2009-07-21T22:00:00.019+08:00

Choices & Paths...

Every decision point is like a junction... Every turn at the junction leads you to different outcome...

Over the years, I've been making myself stop looking at the past, because what's done is done... even if i go back to the situation, i'll still do the same...

Like I said, the weathering effects of time will tell the story...

Suddenly, had the inspiration to write lyrics again this time round with basic tune... 2 - 3 songs... i quite like the ideas of the song i accidentally end up with... i need to feel for something before inspiration flows, and probably my heart knows best...hmm i think i need to create it fast and good... will try to squeeze time to compose....

I'm going to better balance the increased work load and passion to sing and host in the coming months... i've been imposing self-regulatory methods to cut expense, first thing was to take train to work instead of driving, unless really needed to... meaning i waking up earlier and enduring those sweaty squeeze for space in trains... i really hope things will be better...

VS just came to a close last sunday after the Graduation Concert @ NUS UCC. Prior to the event, I was seriously not very excited over it... thought it was going to be another normal day... but i was wrong... i ended up feeling it was too short a day to mark the close of this chapter... Thanks for some coursemates' votes, i won the 最受欢迎男学生奖. There are so many more popular people around like Nathaniel, Bryan, Lan Yikang, Gabriel, i was just lucky ba... Miaoru won 最受欢迎女学生奖! Congrats~! I voted for her, Gabriel too... haha... so it was quite expected! Eugene & Marcus, Bryan, Amanda-Shuting-Xinyi-Mireen, Weiyin, Lucky, all won the subsidary awards. Congrats to all of them too.

Most of us will still be performing and hopefully it will continue with good effects. I've performed twice for the heartland, still no familiar faces i see in crowd... lol... how popular can i be? haha said liao... i won by luck... actually never expect anyone to see us perform... But Ferlyn had a supporter, Mr YW, he came to support her, and 3 of us went for a chatty dinner after performing... :)

Other than the songs inspirations, i was listening to UFM1003 DJ Ken's program, suddenly thought a biz idea and some concepts, relating to music industry.. will be meeting some people who also happened to have some ideas for discussion... i believe in my own hands, myself... i wont just wait for things to happen... i dont like...

thats all for now ba...

Secret

2009-07-14T13:21:00.002+08:00

Everytime i have the urge to write...

By the time i logged in... i start to hesitate...

There was things just better off being kept a secret, and never be said...

or maybe i need a diary... a secret diary...

Bus Trip

2009-07-09T06:22:00.007+08:00

Bus Trip

Non-peak hour bus journeys are relaxing... i missed those days when i was in primary school... i travelled a lot, maximised my concession pass with 'bus stamp' to explore Singapore.. every new thing i saw made me excited...my best accompany is music during the journey... every time im down, i go on long bus trips.... went on a bus trip last week...

I need a restart!

2009-07-09T05:02:00.005+08:00

I need a restart!

Things are totally going all wrong in life... nothing seem to work properly... where am i now? where should i head? questions after questions...

i was leaning on 1 pillar, 1 last pillar...it gave way and i fell... the last pillar couldnt give me enough strength to rebuild my 2 other pillars and it let me down when i needed it most...

on the floor now, people ignore me, people see me as trouble, people see me as a loser, im alienated... a simple smile, a simple help, a simple encouragement means a million to me...

im glad there are still some people who gave me warmth smiles when im feeling down, im surprised because they are people not close at all - not even friends; just acqaintances...

im glad i do still have support from some people around me - friends that have a place for me in their hearts...

some people kept telling me to reject, to learn to say no, not to be too nice to people...maybe they are right... its good to keep a distance from people... since being nice to people around me will only make me more sad when i needed them most... maybe i should reverse the my way of doing things to at least make me less prone to disappointments... why do i have to always think that im just oversensitive, and not you people being not sharp enough or simply insensitive... i hate making myself a sinner, making myself feel im the wrong one... really!! why is it always my fault and never your fault? so what if things are perfect, how perfect things can be, how long? Collin, why cant you see that the society can never be perfect... you are insane, and making yourself an alien...

no no no no no....maybe i should just slowly, subtlely move away from people who dont believe in me, people who thinks otherwise of me, and people who are 'ugly' in my honest eyes... its okay if you dont believe in what i see, what i feel... i have to move on... i have to move on...

I seriously dont understand what's wrong with what i've done for myself and for people around me... i treat everyone the best that i can be... i actually enjoyed being mr nice guy... but the way things are happening it seems like im not allowed to be one... im sort of being punished to be nice... is this fair? is this fair really fair?

im battling with myself, the devil in within... i am weak... so weak now... i need to divert my thoughts away from the devil... im begging myself to be stronger.... i want to move on, move on! arGH~~~~~!
im adding an additional explanation to why im related to water; water has a kind of perservance in nature, how it cuts rocks into valleys, changes coastlines... these are all results of water's perservance... i need perservance, more perservance in future...

i really dont know what im writing... i dont know why i cant sleep properly... im trying hard to sleep as early as 11pm (far earlier than my usual 3-4am or evening 6-7am).. but i simply just wake up in the middle of night from either nightmares or headaches...

i need to sleep
i need believes
i need money
i need hugs
i need real friends
i need appreciation
i need myself to be sober
i need a restart!

NIGHTMARE!

2009-07-06T06:00:00.005+08:00

NIGHTMARE!

I tried to sleep early, and once again i couldnt sleep well and woke up from a nightmare! I am seriously troubled... can I just end my life here, since it doesnt really matter to many... the one whom i will hate most will only be my mum.... ah... !!!!!!! if its not for mummy, i think i murdered myself long ago...

I DONT BOTHER WHOEVER IS READING THIS... I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!! MAKE ME THE NUMBER ONE VILLIAN! HECK IT!!

Earlier, It was a bad day... I can cover sadness, cover worries, cover feelings...but never happen for ANGER! I'm angry... Yes, I think it was my wrong-doing on stage, but I really dont think it needed to end this way, making all arrows and faces aiming on me and the keyboardist...

All these people think of is face face face, reputation reputation.... you have your reputable to uphold, i dont have? Why must it end up to be both of us getting the backlash, and be the scapegoats.... And I hate it even more that, there are hypocrites among us... and i totally hate it to make it the 'headlines' and gave them an opportunity to score... fuck up! Seriously, even if it wasnt a perfect performance, if 'miss fiery' could just simply let the set to complete... i dont think it would look as bad as you thought... by taking way other's chance to performance and putting the blames on the earlier performers, will only divert the negative thinking on the scapegoats...

Seriously, im a gone-case lah... im facing the biggest mid-20s crisis! career suck big time, passion also suck big time...?? im 25 and accomplished nothing...! Am I too myself? or people these days are difficult to work with...? ok, lets blame it on me ba..! i was putting up a freaking stupid act to not let the group sink into sadness...

how do you expect the group to eat and laugh when it happened this way? how? how? Miss Fiery, I hope you understand that we appreciate the chances and your time... but sometimes, you just do things without thinking also...!!! And, I am not the sort that like to act infront of you la... if you are blind, and like to be surrounded by actors... I am simply not those la... even if im a freaking good actor, I dont feel like acting... cos deep down i know it wont work.... it doesnt matter to me if i'll still be in the team or not... i dont think i have any choice, even though i really love to perform.. I really dont know how to be fake lor, AGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i really hate myself hate my life.... why is it so screwed? i am really tired of living... give it to someone else more deserving ba...

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Sir devil asked: "Collin Chan, why not you kill youself in a way whereby it looks like an accident...? at least it wont look as if you let down on your mum..."

part of my new 'lyrics':
我持续加速, 像是与死神招手
风持续变大, 刺进骨里刺进心里
刘海遮住了眼, 也掩饰了泪水
天使瞬间染黑变成魔鬼…

Outdoors Promotion Campaign @ Orchard Road

2009-06-28T03:55:00.011+08:00

Outdoors Promotion Campaign @ Orchard Road

On 25th June, we invaded Orchard Road with Miaoru's singing and music...

They chased...and they distributed....

We walked to and fro... and i shouted with my mini loud hailer non-stop...

He carried and quietly followed...

They stopped, she sang and they praised...

They sms-ed...

That was how it worked...

Believe it or not, I think it was quite a success...

And I think being confident is important...
if i wasnt confident, i wouldnt be able to promote Miaoru...
if she wasnt confident, she wouldnt be able sing well to win the votes from those stopped-by-listeners...

300+ flyers given out to music-lovers and stopped-by-listeners...

Dozens of compliments about Miaoru's singing and dozens of sms-voting by these complete strangers...

MIAORU!! ALL THE BEST!! JIAYOU!

Hope that this outdoors promotion not only increased abit of your popularity, but also increased your confidence and belief in your abilities...

Thanks to all who had turned up @ Orchard to support/help the event.

Mystery Box

2009-06-22T05:03:00.003+08:00

Mystery Box

Its a fun little box...
Brings laughter, joy and happiness...
Even provides solution when you need help...
It teleports people from place to place...
Accompanies you whenever you need company...

But what do you know of the inside of this box?

Dark...
so dark till you dont know the depth of the little box...
so dark that it is beyond imagination...
it has a very very deep depth that doesnt match outlook of a small little box...
who will know when this box is damaged and need help?

Random of Randoms

2009-06-20T04:30:00.006+08:00

Random of Randoms

The time now is 4:30am, date is 20 June 2009. Not emo but just words I wanna say but dont know where to let out... not to people, not here either... Think this is the best time to write songs, and my feelings will be well disguised... Im feeling like im running out of time... trying to make the best out of my life now, in case i make a leave... dont be mistaken, its not a negative thought or death note... i just wanna contribute my all, my everything... doubt i will be as hardworking for myself... im just so irritating, im irritated by myself... haha... its just Collin... Im just so afraid that i'll be forgotten easily... attention seeking you may say...

there are thousands and millions of words i wanna say..... but me being me, it will be bottled within me... <-- rhythms... haha... people around me kept telling me i look tired... do i? i dont know... im not doing alot to be tired anyway... dont deserved to be tired... need to work even harder...

Recently, I've got an encounter with some people's god (by the way, so far...i am myself's god cos everythings' in my own hands).. Miss S. was telling me to give myself a chance to experience god... for the reason being i've been there long ago for quite awhile and i've been to church so many times over the past decade.. also, isnt it a coincident for me to be surrounded by so many believers from the same church... What she say isnt wrong, to be i thought its more like their church is huge, throw a stone and i'll hit someone fr that church.. haha... but seriously i gave it a serious thought, and wanna know why people convert and start to believe... Miss S reasons were more on finding the truth behind creation, solving her questions abt how things are created, how come there's such a good balance of most elements... hmm thats not the kind of reason i looking for... so i asked Miss Roo.. hers was more to make herself a better person and there were and are positive changes in her life... she said something about believing everything that happens is the work of god...god is always watching over us...believe and you will experience god... guess what... after the conversation with Miss Roo, the next day, suddenly in the morning a fren asked me to prepare some protection policies for his mum... i was like wow...once in a blue moon, people automatically call me to sell insurance to them lor.. lol... my worries for sales was answered... that moment i chose to believe it was the work of god and i think i experienced his presence... im not sure whether what i will do next... maybe let things go naturally by its course ba...

i am some damn random... hmmm.... ok im feeling better cos i diverted my thoughts to writing that paragraph above... haha... VOTE FOR MIAORU ok? random~ haha if this campaign is successful, our dear Miaoru will have a better start in her singing career...and i might end up getting invitations to manage campaigns, becoming the jin pai(golden) Manager~ lol... not a bad sideline business... i am random and siao... thats all for tonite.... time now is 5:03am... need to catch some sleep... i am feeling sick soon... bye~

《超级星光大道5 - 新加坡踢馆代表征选赛》

2009-06-18T02:14:00.007+08:00

《超级星光大道5 - 新加坡踢馆代表征选赛》

After auditions and semi-finals, the organisers and judges selected the Top 20. Among them are familiar faces from Project Superstar, Superband, Campus Superstar, S'pore Idol. And also among the 20 finalists, is Kueo Miaoru 魏妙如, she is one good singer you must listen and vote for to be one of the three Singapore's PK representatives...

SMS her contestant number 'S9' to 97171003
Normal SMS charges, No extra charges

or

Visit http://onemillionstar.starhub.com/vote.php
remember to enter your email address before clicking on her photo to vote

I am her official Promotions and Support Campaign's Manager!! I am going to make sure her popularity increase within this 1 and half weeks, with the efforts of her friends, Xueling Laoshi and a group of VS graduates! We will be creating the best cheering and support on the actual day, 28th June @ Kallang Leisure Park! Support her ok! She will be on-air @ 1003FM again on 24th June(*subjected to changes), 9pm onwards, to sing and be interviewed by DJ Ken.

her performance @ Love The World Bistro(S'pore Flyer) for your reference.

Performances Updates

2009-05-29T05:01:00.012+08:00

Performances Updates (last update:14 July 2009)
Went for briefing and realised I overlooked 2 dates which i missed out... I was doing my usual reflections in car yesterday... thinking back these past 3 months... the performances and friendships... i was smiling with a pinched-feel in my heart... really felt the impact of this course... i really appreciate the opportunities, i may not be the ones contending for the few positions for the company to groom, but i am already contented... if these following events were to happen smooth and successfully, at least in my memories I know i was a performer before... It can be quite time consuming, tired and tedious to rehearse here and there, look for songs to sing, work with different people and getting the lectures for the instructors, but after i performed, and looked back i feel the satisfaction... no more singing in KTV only entertaining friends and 2nd/3rd degree friends... I hope I can get some sort of support from you(my friends and friends' friends :D) in the coming performances... these performances are chances to build my 'fan' base... i understand there's alot of good singers/performers out there, and i am definitely not the best of even the elites... i am performing to entertain you, and people who bother to stop by and listen to my singing; not to compete and compare... will update again if there's any changes to the details... :)

14 June 2009: Location - Singapore Flyer Level 2, Love The World Bistro; Time - 6pm; 1-2 song(s)

27 & 28 June 2009: Location - Tampines Mall, Level 4 Open Plaza; Time - 2 to 6pm; Event - Singout09 Semi-finals; Hosting

5 July 2009: Location - Singapore Flyer Level 2, Love The World Bistro; Time - 6pm; 1 - 2 song(s)

12 July 2009: Location - Singapore Flyer Level 2, Love The World Bistro; Time - 5pm; 1-2 song(s)

17 July 2009: Location - Depot Shopping Centre, Depot Road; Time - 6 to 8pm; Event - HDB Heartland Event; Solo singing (4 songs>2Mandarin2English)

18 July 2009: Location - Taman Jurong Shopping Centre, Blk 399 Yung Sheng Road; Time - 6 to 8pm; Event - HDB Heartland Event; Solo singing (4 songs>2 mandarin 2english)

24 July 2009: Location - Pioneer Mall, Blk 638 Jurong West St 61; Time - 6 to 8pm; Event - HDB Heartland Event; Solo singing (4 songs>2 mandarin 2english)

25 July 2009: Location - Tampines Central Community Complex, Blk 866A Tampines St 83; Time - 6 to 8pm; Event - HDB Heartland Event; Solo singing (4 songs>2 mandarin 2english)

8 August 2009: Location - DBS Auditorium; Time - TBC; Event - Singout09 Final; Hosting

i.Drive & Protect

2009-05-26T15:28:00.007+08:00

i.Drive - Chauffeuring and Convenience Services

Tired of waiting for cab, and paying the high prices?
Wanna go shopping, but nobody is there to help?
Wanna go to inaccessible places for a special date but is always inconvenient?
Simply need a lift to beat the Queue?

I am serious about these services. Very often I hear people complaining abt their cab fare, some people's daily cab fare can be as high as $80 - $100. And the queue during peak hours are crazy... Most of all, for those who has been enduring taxi-uncles ranting and nonsenses; having me as your chauffeur is definitely more ideal.

Whole Day Booking (10hours): $80
Any additional hours thereafter: $8/hour
Any distance > 100km, will be charged @ $1.70/km *subjected to prevailing fuel price
Charges exclude parking fee & entry fees to sentosa (if applicable)

Half Day Booking (5hours): $45
Addtional hours thereafter: $9/hour
Any distance >50km, will be charged @ $1.70/km *subjected to prevailing fuel price
Charges exclude parking fee & entry fee to sentosa (if applicable)

Pick & Go
10km: $15 / 15km: $20 / 20km: $25 / 25km: $30 / 30km: $35 / 35km: $40 / 40km: $45 / 45km: $50
(X km + 5 = $Price)
Charges exclude parking fee, ERP & entry fee to sentosa (if applicable)

Special Drive (only for whole day booking)
Vehicle Rental Cost + Whole Day Book Charges + any unforeseen cost

The above services are provided for friends and members only, email your request to collin.chan@ymail.com together with your contact number and name to become a member. I will then release my mobile number for your booking convenience.

For Whole Day Booking & Half Day Booking, you are adviced to give at least 48hours notice.
For Special Drive, you are adviced to give at least 1 week notice to ensure smooth reservation procedure for the vehicle of your choice.
For Pick & Go, you are adviced to give 1.5hours of notice via my mobile number.

All services listed (excluding Special Drive), will be chauffeured by me in my 07' Toyota Vios FL. The vehicle will at all time be well-maintained and for your comfort. All services are only available in Singapore. Regulars will enjoy a 10% discount. Refer a client to me and enjoy 10% discount on your next booking. I promise to drive at your comfort and abid safety regulations however, I will not be held responsible for any injuries, accidents and unforseen mishaps.

Protect yourself and Loved ones
I am actively helping friends and public to upgrade their CPF Medishield plan to a 100% coverage hospitalisation plan. Trust me, its essential nowadays and most of all, there's no cash involved for certain level of coverage. Start early to avoid exclusion of conditions and future complications.

I can't say anymore due to compliance regulations, hence contact me for more details.

Performance

2009-05-21T04:24:00.012+08:00

Performances (UPDATED: 26 May 2009)
The school is giving some of us quite a few opportunities to perform outside recently, really appreciate it...Suddenly feeling like a performer these days... Signing a performing contract (till end of year) with school soon... Furthermore, will continue hosting for Singout09 till finals...

I will be having a series of performance in these coming months... i hope you guys can show me some support especially for the singing ones... cos due to organisers' request, i might not be singing songs i want to sing, if support is there, will help me feel better... :)

22 May 2009: Location - Ngee Ann City, Civic Plaza; Time - 8pm onwards; Event - Female & NuYou Magazine; Group(2) singing of 'Zi You - Zhang Zheng Yue', 'Gai Bian Zi Ji - Wang Lee Hong' and OB Theme song

7 June 2009: Location - Tampines Mall, Level 4 Open Plaza; Time - 2 to 4pm; Event - Singout09 Party cum MS talent showcase; Hosting (KIV)

14 June 2009: Location - Singapore Flyer Level 2, Love The World Bistro; Time - TBC, probably be evening; Band Singing

21 June 2009: Location - Singapore Flyer Level 2, Love The World Bistro; Time - TBC, probably be evening; Band Singing

27 & 28 June 2009: Location - Tampines Mall, Level 4 Open Plaza; Time - TBC; Event - Singout09 Semi-finals; Hosting

12 July 2009: Location - Singapore Flyer Level 2, Love The World Bistro; Time - TBC, probably be evening; Band Singing

17 July 2009: Location - Woodlands Mart, Blk 768 Woodlands Ave 6; Time - 6 to 8pm; Event - HDB Heartland Event; Solo singing (4 songs>2Mandarin2English)

19 July 2009: Location - Singapore Flyer Level 2, Love The World Bistro; Time - TBC, probably be evening; Band Singing

24 July 2009: Location - Pioneer Mall, Blk 638 Jurong West St 61; Time - 6 to 8pm; Event - HDB Heartland Event; Solo singing (4 songs>2 mandarin 2english)

Time

2009-05-14T17:34:00.003+08:00

Time

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12...
i used to think that only the night/early morning are the loneliest hours.... I told myself to avoid these hours... sleep early and i won't have the chance to fall into the lonely trap...

I forced myself to sleep and sleep and sleep... thoughts just won't let me off even during sleep... i dreamt and dreamt and dreamt...

This morning, i was on the way for a course at suntec... along the way, was an unexpected heavy traffic, i was late, hence i decided to go for the afternoon slot... i didnt know where to go... drove and drove and ended up at orchard... i didnt know what i could do but to walk and walk... i was tired, more of mentally... sat down, took a puff (yes, i smoked...) looked at people walking left to right right to left...i took another puff...mind was still running wildy...for the first time, i realised even the daytime can be so lonely...i think im more of lost... lost of my life direction... i am really a typical capricorn...if i dont tell, dont show...no one will know what i'm thinking... i can like the world's most carefree person, but can also be the world most troubled soul in this hour...

I decided to walk again... i walked past a musician playing er-hu with background music... a very sad emo piece he played... i was affected... he was like the most understanding person that moment, because his music was like a reflection of my feeling... i walked past him and i turned around walked back to him, dropped $2... he said thank you... i thanked him too...

up till this moment i am still alone... actually i am okay to be alone, in fact i enjoy being alone...but when you are lost... you just constantly hoped that someone will help you out of it...

25 years of my life, i've been pursuing happiness, success, love... but when i'm most down... the things i get from my family are anger, and unhappiness... i only wished my mum could give me a hug and give me support and not getting angry over me... some people like to compare, but i dont like to... cos i know i am feeling bad enough to think i am not happy.... boss dont keep thinking that i am negative, dont think that i should be like others.... the fact is when i was slogging my ass contributing my sales to your team, your team wasn't working... now that they are 'working' means i am not? i dont need those motivational course... cos i've been thru' enough of those... and ultimately, things are in our hands... i know i have to control myself and i do have control over myself... by assuming and presuming things about me, makes me sick of working under you and with the team... look at how you guys reacted on one of the colleagues personal problems... he might have broken a law, but that doesnt mean you guys have to see him like an alien... is that just how i was 'treated' when you guys think i am weird and 'uncoachable'?

whatever it is... time is constantly ticking...so cruelly moving on... i feel.... and great, miss jaymee just called while im writing this...and yes i wasnt friendly and sounded rude... ok... the whole world hates me... i am a weirdo... its a fact...fuck my life...fuck the time, can someone take the batteries of the clock...fuck!

Blurry - Puddle of Mud

2009-05-07T14:37:00.005+08:00

one of my emo songs
Blurry - Puddle of Mud

Everything's so blurry
And everyone's so fake
And everybody's empty
And everything is so messed up
Pre-occupied without you I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I Stumble then I crawl
You could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that I'll protect you
From all of the obscene
I wonder what you're doing
Imagine where you are
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far
Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
When you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
Well you shoved it in my face

Everyone is changing
There's no one left that's real
So make up your own ending
And let me know just how you feel
'Cause I am lost without you I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I Stumble then I crawl
You could be my someone
You could be my scene
Know that I will save you
From all of the unclean
I wonder what you're doing
I wonder where you are
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far
Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
When you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
Well, you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me
Oh,
Nobody told me what you thought
Nobody told me what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Told you where to run away
Nobody told you where to hide
Nobody told you what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Showed you when to run away
Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
Well you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away?
Can you take it all away?
Well you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me
NOOOOOO!
This pain you gave to me
This pain you gave to me
Take it all away
Take it all away
This pain you gave to me
This pain you gave to me
Take it all away
This pain you gave to me

My 'Virgin' Hosting Experience

2009-04-12T02:41:00.003+08:00

Today was another eventful busy day, but i truly enjoyed it...

Went practicing in the afternoon for monday's major project for the singers' course.. drive here drive there, buy lunch and finally our class combined our powers @ weiyin's house... It was raining heavily, made everything feel so inconvenient... we managed to put the bits and pieces together, and i am happy to see that we are united as one... working very hard together for monday's performance...

After running thru once, i had to leave for hosting as i was going to be late...sky was still dark, rain hasnt stop, traffic would sure be bad... as predicted, i had to detour and travel slightly more to avoids the jams.. i arrival late, and our chairwoman, Jasmine... "kuai qu kuai qu zhao Khim (my co-host)..." :) Jasmine is incredibility good at control and management... Haha.. When she starts her complaining session during debrief, you better had done a good job earlier if not... hahaha.... fierce one lor... lol... anyway i found Khim (the 1st batch campus superstar 'powerhouse') at the cosy corner eating Lay's Chip... discussed about the flow, pre-arranged some jokes and we went up to the cosy little dance studio (wet weather location) and standby for the competition...

I must say me and Khim can work quite well together... she is very accomodating and experienced... i was like the talking kite...talk and fly, talk and fly... and she will hold the string and pull me back.. At one point, i kept talking about 1st time (virgin) experience, and went abit dirty... even the judges were firing me... haha... love the chemistry, like the tv shows... there was one moment i went blank, no vocab to use... lol... and i dig at myself to move on... Super big clown on stage... along the way while contestants sang, Miss Khim continued munching her Lay's Chips, and occasionally we discussed about the contestants... I was also doing my little judging by the side, writing comments on my name list....anyway, the whole flow was ok, just a blink of eye and we are done.... The judges praised the hosts... haha... Khim~ ^5! kekez.. Im looking forward to the next QF, next Saturday, feel free to pop by for music and my crappy hosting @ 76 Neil Road, 7pm onwards.. hopefully its a clear sky and we can set up at the courtyard (bigger) instead...

To the contestants, i know its almost impossible for u guys to read this, but i must say it was a tough decision for the judges... I personally will choose Apple, Yong Kwang, Mireen, Natri, Jayden (Adult Cat.), Mr Justin and Mr Choo (Open Cat.) to enter semi, and Lucius, Daniel, Wayne into revival round. However, sometimes life is just like this, you lose some you win some... Congrats to everyone, cos everyone is a winner, all of us took home some thing... be it advice, experience or actual chance to advance....

Who will help me?

2009-04-09T14:05:00.004+08:00

Who Will Help Me?

Recently, a friend of mine is facing financial difficulties suddenly... Didn't expect the word bankrupt to be associated with this person... I was talking to this person whole night, got to know some of his plans and some of his unhappy encounters...

This person might be facing bankruptcy, and will be forced to leave current position due to the status. Imagine a career of 13 years, gone in a wind just because of business failure... And worse, is that this situation showed how sincere these so call buddies and friends are in crisis... I'm refering to those who obvious can provide a helping hand, e.g millionaire... The person's direct boss also a 'friend', who is a millionaire replied "i'm also very tight, my advice is you better quit before you go bankrupt" When i heard this, i went into F* mood... for your info, i know the millionaire too... I cant imagine someone like my friend who have been serving and fighting with this boss for 13 years, contributing the millions of dollars of assets and networth, receive such treatment... its just a $150k, and my friend is willing to pay up by instalment...

I was thinking and reflecting about myself, wondering who will appear and come to my aid if one day i need serious help, might not be financial but something else... seriously wondering....

I was sharing my idealogy of win-win situation with my singing class classmates...maybe i'm too much of a perfectionist...but i do understand that the reality is cruel and brutal...i cant always play the game like a i want to if no one wants to co-operate... i am too kind to be a business person, too kind to be a so call 'insurance agent'... a teacher who heard me sharing my ideas told me i'm not suitable to be in the entertainment industry, but i beg to differ... i may be idealistic, but i'm already in a business thats fighting for survival... my intention in every appointment is to make a difference in people lives and make a difference in my service VS the others... using my small little effort to change... similarly, it just need someone to step out to make changes in the entertainment industry to make small accumulatively positive changes...no matter where i go, i will try to influence with whatever i can...

Class Outing

2009-04-08T04:54:00.007+08:00

Class Outing

3 April 2009, not our first outing/gathering but it shld be the most memorable one... i went down to OB early as i need time to write a msg over 2 pages(cos the big too many pages so we were forced to use 2 pages...) for the dance teacher who is leaving.. the day before, i went to shop for bling blings and DIY stuffs to deco the pages, cos the teacher is a DIY lover + i really dont know how to write over 2 pages.. 1 group in my class was having a discussion on a project so i 'pestered' them... we were all so excited and nervous about the project... they kept practicing and practicing till we overshot our timing to meet...

we rushed over to vivo, where we supported one of our classmates who was a finalist of mypaper executive look... too last min liao could prepare anything for her, so i ran to "toys r us" to search for noise maker toys... after going rounds and rounds i spoted some toy instrument - cymbal and tempolin...grabbed and ran to pay... when i used the cymbal, everyone looked at me... cos its so unusual to support with that...thought got lion dance... lol.. anyway we couldnt stay long to support her as the dance instructor was waiting for us in OB and we rushed back to fetch her and we headed to nearby, keong saik road a tze cha stall for dinner.... ordered i think 8 dishes... and the 12 of us sat together in 1 table, like a big family... very nice feeling... we chated while eating, though we werent as talkative as the prata shop session but guess we all enjoyed the dinner...

The highlight of the evening was KTV session! went to sing and we sang like nobody business... my throat was protesting before the session so i didnt sing much... anyway see them enjoy can liao... happy enough for me as an organiser... kekez... during the session really saw a lot of cute and funny sides of the dance teacher... haha... hope she enjoyed the session... in the middle of the session our vocal teacher + her hubby and a friend joined us too... we were all more than crazy till towards the end we all die down... energy dropped drastically, but a 'peng you' suggested by shiying, brought us together again in the finale... our class bonding increased by another zillion times~

after k-ing session, sent some of them home... when i reached carpark, ideas kept flooding my mind and hungry oso... so i called Gabriel (our ban zhang) told him my idea for project and funny thing was both of us were equally hungry and not sleepy... so i asked him out at 4am! lol... and he was steady, so i drove all the way to hougang and both of us went jalan kayu ate and talked till 730am... haha super nice long conversation... long time didnt have this kind of buddy buddy talk liao... i love this guy man! haha... We have so many things in common, namely, surname, dialect, forefather origin, mums r used to be malaysian, both in insurance, same ns unit, same ns vocation...etc....

anyway, i hope VS3 can stay one united and we will prove our strengths to others! :) jiayou!

Singout 09

2009-04-01T03:41:00.004+08:00

Singout 2009

Remember the competition that i participated last year? My very first singing competition... Singout is back~!

This year's Sing Out '09 targets at both the ADULT Category (Age 13 - 39) and OPEN Category (Age 40 and above), in search of the BEST VOCALIST and PERFORMER.

PRIZES for both Adult & Open Category
1st - $2000 cash & prizes
2nd- $1500 cash & prizes
3rd - $1000 cash & prizes

Last 2 audition dates: 3 April & 4 April, 7pm @ Music Story

HOW TO REGISTER ?
1) Download the REGISTRATION FORM from http://www.musicstory.com.sg/
2) Print & Fill up the form.
3) Dial 6223 0012 to confirm your audition dates.
4) Prepare 2 songs for audition (e.g. 1 fast 1 slow)
5) Make payments together with the form to Music story on your audition date.

Registration fee: $18 (non MS students) / $15 (MS students)

For enquires: 6223 0012 (11am -7pm)

Though i'm not a student with MS, but have been in touch with them and i'm happy that they are always so welcoming... The students really put in alot of effort to organised this competition. I'm honoured to be invited to join their team, and will be hosting the competition... Looking forward for the hosting job, haha its my first time too... Really thanks the committee for trusting me, I will do my best for the competition... Doing 'homework', watching youtubes of talent-search programs... :)

No matter you learnt singing or never learn singing before (like me), whether or not you are a MS student, Singout09 welcomes all... Join today! :)

Super Sunday

2009-03-30T02:40:00.004+08:00

Super Sunday!

I'm so nervous before my 2nd dance lesson... (ok, i shall come clean to you people about something i didnt tell anyone, i'm in a singer course... i'm telling becos i'm happy to be with some of these new friends i made and i am blogging it...) Practiced last sunday with classmates... today was the 2nd and the last 2hours dance lesson in the course... we had combined what we learnt and was going to learn and will be tested... problem is, i am super lousy for movement... i looked funny and unnatural during first lesson... furthermore need to partner female classmates later of the dance... shit man~ then before today's lesson, heard teacher isnt too happy today due to poor performance of previous class.... hahahahaa stressfulllllllllllll.... i danced in toilet at home and the school before going lor...

but things turned out not too bad during lesson... we tried to cheer our teacher up with jokes and our hardwork... plus we did impressed her of what we learnt in first lesson in today's lesson.... we danced till whole body ache plus bruises and skin peel at knees... and during tests, i did ok lah... from damn lousy to lousy... got improvement :p all of us improved i thinked... and teacher praised us...! happy she was happy with us and happy for the class too... :) just so happy lor... lalala...

after dance we headed to our vocal teachers condo for whole course gathering....had simple buffet, chatted and got to know 2 new friends, Gloria and Charlene... must write, scared i forget their names due to higher chance of being just acqaintance, and i have bad memory for people whom i dont talk to... later next gather see them again, i forgot names then paiseh... anyway there were friendly ladies... felt their sincerity just like my classmates... even as i was crapping all the way, i feel that all of them were acceptive... haha i feel accepted... i like~ hard for people to accept collin one... must understand... anyway, after eatting we were entertained by some course mates and JJ's video clip... the vocal teacher shared some words of wisdom and performed with her hubby...

There was part 3, half of our class went supper @ bt timah.... talked and talked non stop... from horoscope to teachers to our jobs to movies to food to everything lah... talked and dined from 10pm to 1230am.... if not we have to work, bet we gonna talk more lor... anyway we planning to meet for dinner and k-session soon.... more nonsenses to talk again...

Its really a happy day today, long time never so happy le... when mingling with alot of strangers e.g during the buffet, i'm still the emo self.. really don't what to say and do...luckily people were friendly... its just Collin... Thank you VS3 for making today a happy sunday for me...

Sa Wa Dee Trip (1)

2009-03-25T01:59:00.043+08:00

Sa Wa Dee (Day 1)

After the long long wait and many many episodes... I finally could go Bangkok.. not that i like to go bangkok, but the whole administration nightmare prior the trip was horrible... all thanks to mr flowery mouth con-man... forget abt me paying extra + extra + extra for a simple bangkok trip.. lets look at the highlights of the trip... Lets start with 16 march 2009, morning, reached airport early, so we had breakfast at killiney coffee... my half boiled eggs were quite raw, but i didn't bother abt it... "Bangkok Here I Come!"

The 6 of us - Me, Mandy, Thomas, Cynthia, Ginny, Desmond boarded on TG404 that very morning...

the sky started pouring while our plane took off from Changi..

while onboard...

zzzZZzzzZZzz... and also ZzZZ-ing on board, a terrorist look-alike....

oops, caught by the victim...

while flying above 14000ft, my stomach started to protest... the damn raw eggs forced me to the toilet (lavatory)... try doing 'business' in the air, its damn... uncool...everyone knows i'm in the toilet for BIG business for sure... and due to my emptied bowel, i had to force out the raw eggs... and it took damn long... damn embarassing on my way back to my seat...

chicken with noodles VS fish with rice

flying above the clouds... the view was unbelievable...

After we landed...

We were greeted by students' performances beside the long corridors towards custom and immigrations.. We took a chartered mini-van to hotel, it was a long trip, since it was free - there were other tourists to other hotels along the way + the traffic jams... I was super impressed by how the Thais drive in small small alleys (which were equally jam) to avoid jams on the mains...

Along the way, me and mandy were attracted by the bright pink cabs on the road, huge big durians, weird looking people and a mama & papa shop...

After we checked into Baiyoke Boutique Hotel, we headed for our 1st stop, Tailor Shop!

I was spoilt with alot of choices... the services of the sales assistants were excellent and helpful... made quite a mess looking at the fabrics... eventually i settled for 4 shirts and 2 pants... It was already 6-7pm hence we headed to the mall nearby to shop and dine, there was a corner tributing a figurine of an elephant god with 4 sides..Thais worship their gods with roses, to show their love... (interesting).. As we were walking towards the mall, Thai's national anthem played and everyone at the open space freezed and stood still... we stopped too... really admire their patriotism...

We decided to try authentic Thai food at a restaurant, the food were nice... ordered quite alot of food...

After dinner, we walked around at a night market near hotel, saw some roadside stall selling 'heavily salted' girll fish and bbq chicken etc. While shopping, we saw a man bringing an elephant parading on street to get tourists pay for feeding it..

more updates in future entries when i'm free...

Changes

2009-02-18T15:29:00.006+08:00

Changes

Everyone changes, everything changes... as i'm looking around the environment, the people... there ought to be changes... i'm like doing a 'spot the difference' using my memory VS what i'm seeing... Some changes are good some changes are bad and some has no effect... while memories and emotions linger around things or persons, their changes cause some chemical reaction in me making me thinking, thinking and thinking...

I wish i had not known some many things, so many people, seen so many things, been to so many places... because the more i know, see and communication, the more feelings i leave these things with...

Hydrology - redefine

2009-02-05T03:15:00.009+08:00

Hydrology - redefine

Recently, an idea came out of no where... partly due to certain happenings... anyway, i'm thinking of gathering people with passion for music... a network that creates and promotes local mandarin music... Member contributing in forms of self-penned songs, instrumental coaching, singing coaching, professional advice, promotions, or simply funding... All these have to be done to keep the network self-sustainable and continue being a non-profiteering group. I was writing a proposal for this project, in hope to meet up some people who might be interested in joining. I'm looking at setting a goal - a compilation of 10 songs, recorded by our project Artistes, with full promotions in Singapore and Malaysia for the start. The more I'm thinking and writing the proposal the more I think and the more ambitious i get... I think it can be done, if everyone in the network is willingly to put in time, effort and the money, furthermore I've already have some contacts and suitable management candidates in mind...I don't think its possible for me to share everything here in words, hence if you are interested to know more, can let me know and we shall meet up soon in a group for discussion..

Why Hydrology? Haha first and for most its more meaningful for me - h2o. Ok, frankly i was thinking that it is going to be a tough and long running campaign; it might be like water using thousands of years to shape the valleys and ridges... Another reason is that the word itself looks like it has got lots of stories to tell, just like the song we gonna write in future. Anyway, I simply like to relate to water can? Unless someone can come up with a better name... otherwise its decided!

7 days after 16 days of 2009

2009-01-25T14:35:00.003+08:00

7 days after 16 days of 2009

Empty is the word. Once again, the hollow-feel, and heart-achingness returns after a long long 5 years plus...

I've just deleted a whole chunk of words I've typed earlier... This is just not the place to express my deeper thoughts...

Do you know how pathetic I am now? nobody will know, cos i look like anyone else on street...

For so many years, after upsets I've always said i should be evil and bad...but i never did... again and again, i only made myself more sad and feeling worse... maybe its time for me to be totally different...

i just feel like dying...

16 days of 2009

2009-01-17T00:12:00.004+08:00

16 Days of 2009

i'm writing again after 3 months of absence... i was overwhelmed by the workload in the last few months of 2008... promoted to be a 'manager' for recruitment, had pay-raise... sounds good... but it wasn't... i was more like a worker then a manager... there were little space for my opinions, hence i decided to fire the company... It made me feel more like working for myself, just be good in my Financial Consultant career, don't bother about company... and i managed to ditch the job and started my full commitment on the last week of 2008...

I was hoping for a good 2009, a good and refreshing start... but right at the 1st day of 2009, i lost my relationship...later i had allergy and my face had some rashes + my acne problem resulted from the 2-3 months of busy schedule, i feel worse... then i had 1 of the saddest birthday ever... however i must still thanks Chester, Dorine, Boon Seng, Shirley and Lionel for celebrating with me on 2 occasions. I feel sad, depressed these day... partly caused my the medication i'm taking to control acne... then today, i went for a 2nd audition of a special singing class intake, but i screwed it up myself... i purposely invited miaoru to help me with my song-writing the day before, we spent the whole afternoon and midnite trying to complete the song i wrote... i was so excited, but at the audition i totally disappointed myself and miaoru...倒影 was one of the songs i specially wrote and very much wanted it to be completed, yet i wasted a good chance to showcase it... I'm okay if i don't get into the class, but i'm not okay that i didn't do my best.... i hate myself... its all my fault!

2009 is full of shit! Please give me my well-deserved good year! I AM SAD!!! SAD!!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING NOW... Why I feel like some people are avoiding me...? I never even ask them buy anything from me! Why I am I feeling like there's no one I can turn to or be with in the middle of the nite, when i often feel worse...? I ended up driving rounds and rounds and rounds and rounds... Why some people forever thinks I'm like this and like that...? If you don't bother to see me, or know me more, please don't think or say i'm this and that... I HATE ALL OF YOU!!! Can someone let me sing to the world, sing out my story, my unhappiness...? Why is there no powerful-somebody appreciate me? I AM SIAO! as crazy as the song that is playing now... i love this song... the crazy piano, the rock, and the singing... Xiao Hong Ren rox! aHHhHHhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Singout Outing

2008-10-07T13:08:00.004+08:00

Revisiting Months Ago (Photos)

Singout 'Class' 1

It was just months ago, we were busy preparing for the finals. We were still singing and dancing like siao people in partyworld, and we were still playing arcade, bowling and dinning together...

Today, some are busy with their exams, some are back to school, some entered NS, and some back to work...Lives just go on...
our 1st singing session after competition
the happy photo
the newscasters and crew photo
the promoting photo

The Big Day of Janet & Ivan

2008-10-01T10:32:00.011+08:00

Hair Construction AGAIN!

Bye Bye messy permed hair...

This time its the short neat look... :)

Big Day of Janet & Ivan
28th Sept 2008

Drove over to Janet's grandfather place in Hougang in the morning. I'm part of the Bride's team :p cos i know Janet longer than Ivan... haha... anyway, we prepared some door 'gifts' for the Ivan, which included Durian with Wasabi [Ivan hates durian!], D Super Mix [Sesame oil + Chilli oil + Beer + Egg + More], Brazilian Wax.... *Evil*

When the Groom team arrvived, Ivan had to provide Janet's IC number. He responded shiftly as though he had memorised it prior. Then he was treated with Brazilian wax on his hairy leg, haha the result was brillant! :p Later, he was served with Durian with Wasabi, he took it without fear, but the durian was at the edge of his mouth for quite some time before he took the courage to eat it. Next challenge was coming up with 10 cheng yu to describe love or a lady, which was tested the Groom Team. They took damn long to think and apparently Groom's mind went blanked! We gave them discount and leniency, eventually they passed. Last challenge was another mind cracker for them, that is to sing a love song loud enough for the opposite block neighbours to look out their windows. Aftter awhile of discussion, they decided on 'Ai Hen Jian Dan'... Before our Bride team open the gates for them, it was the most important segment - Ang Bao Extortion!

i must say that Ivan and his gang came without preparation of big bucks, but instead lots of foreign currencies. First Ang Bao they gave was only 88cents! Not sincere lah. Later, they gave a series of foreign currencies and it drag the own negotiation quite awhile. In the card, we managed to ask for a total of 8 Ang Haos...

our long negotiated prize

Ivan was later put to the last time, to sweet talk at the door to Janet. After 2 tries, the door opened... and finally the groom meets the bride and happy ever after................... haha it didn't just stop there... thereafter both teams drove over to Ivan's house for tea ceremony, and we drove back to Jane's place for tea ceremony too. After the long 'traditional' ceremony, the bride's team and bride & groom drove to Regent Hotel for wash up/refreshment and preparation.

The hotel gave the couple and complementary room, which they arranged it for us [brothers/sisters] to wash up. The room was great, very comfy and classy. The couple's wedding suite was not too bad either, spacious [1 bedroom, 1 living room]... Watched abit segment of Singtel F1 repeat telecast after washup, its quite shiok to see the background of the race are buildings you & I are familiar of.

5pm, a group of us gathered at the main lobby to meet the hotel's banquet team, and had a mini discussion and rehearsal. The ballroom was decorated with Roses and looks abit like 'Garden feel'.

That nite, I was in charge of the reception, the guest were hosted at the lobby's lounge area before the ballroom opened at 8pm. The couple hosted 35 tables, of the invited guest, most were very well-dressed... Everyone they know were there to give them their blessing... the feeling is special and nice.

Jasmine, Jocelyn & Me

During dinner, my table was a mix of different group of Janet's close friends. Other than the sisters in the bride's team, there were 2 new faces, Jovan & Joaquin. At first it was quite awkward, all of us didn't know what to say. Then I thought I should say something at least, otherwise the weird feeling will be haunting me. Got to know that Joaquin was Janet's ex-colleague and they got to know where I'm working and were consulting me about their investment with our competitor - which recently went into crisis. They looked worried, but i hope i've at least secured their confidence and will speak to their consultant soon. To me its definitely okay to speak general, after all its about consumer's confidence. I don't think there's any need to proach other's biz in crisis. Anyway, the table got more lively after we got to know each other better. And from quiet, we were rowdy~ :P

Very soon, the dinner ended with many thanks you and phototaking sessions... Couldn't believe a day just passed like this.

Marriage is a major milestone of a relationship. I was reflecting quite abit when the couple showed a montage of photos taken thru' out their relationship. I've seen this couple going thru' ups and downs and eventually settling together now.

Hmm... it feels good to be part of my good friends' life event... :) Best Wishes, Janet & Ivan!

Updates July - Aug 08

2008-08-26T09:51:00.023+08:00

'Tiny Boxers' Trip to KL

It was the first time i met the other tiny boxers, meaning an overseas trip with strangers. We arranged to meet at People's Park at 6:15am in the early morning. It was kinda of awkward initially, but being the odd one, i thought i should take the initiative to introduce myself to them...they thought i'm 18! Oh my, i look 18? haha... the fact that we're all friendly people, the ice melted pretty soon till the bus arrived and we all sort of knocked out on bus journey to Tuas.

Long Queues were awaiting us at Tuas, and due to our senior citizen's inadequate understanding of the use of new scanning machines, it held us back for kept awhile. The manual custom queues were also long. After most of us went thru the custom, our dear Marcus had problems going thru the computerised berth with his passport and had to re-q again at the manual queue which was as long as before..... we were stuck at the customs for more than an hour... to ease the anxiety i was acting with marcus like the scenes in war-flim whereby families/loved one are separated... lol... drama~ didn't expect him to act along with me, cos we didn't really talk on the bus... but that definitely open up our conversation later the trip... :)

We headed towards KL in dreamlandsssss, all of us spent most of the journey sleeping~.... but along the way, after one of the rest point, we gathered at the 'ktv' cabin of the bus, wanted to sing ktv despite only having hokkien MVs, but we ended up chit chating and these seniors 'forced' me to sing.. paiseh to sing lah... weird weird de.... but the more i don't sing, the more the persist, to the extent that i felt the expectations were growing higher.... to avoid that, i sang abit lah... and ya, normal lah... kekez... told u guys liao~ After the getting abit boring, we moved back to our seats and continued our dreamlands, some watched the videos and some played the old-school games - those that i used to play e.g Tanker, popeye, kungfu fighter...haha missed those days, carefree~

After another hour of journey, we arrived at a petrol station outside KL and transfered by a mini van to Quality Hotel. At the hotel, we checked in to the 3 rooms [courtesy of Kenn :) ] The girls checked into their rooms first while we guys had to wait for our room to be cleaned. While the girls were bus discussing on how to sqeeze themselves on the beds or bed, we guys tried to get the first touch/rest on their beds~! :p Then somehow, Liting started her phototaking act again... snapped zillions of photos~ We guys went to our room not long after, but to our disgust, our room stinked, like some un-washed clothes, anyway its a foul-smell, we tried to get the room service to do something, and all they did was spraying some fragrance to the aircon. The girls came over and complained our the smell, they thought it was us with our stinko nan ren wei... dot dot dot... we blasted the aircon and it smelled better.

Our late lunch was at Sogo near our hotel. We found this restaurant call, 'Nando', selling grilled chicken - concept like kenny rogers. They have 3 different chilli sauce that meets different demands. The food was not bad there but it has its own style of taste and favours. After lunch we went buy a bouquet of roses for Desiree, and we made our way back to hotel, planning to leave for the mini concert earlier, hoping to do some shopping near the venue. After failing to flag down cabs, we decided to book a van from the hotel to the venue.

When we went there.... haha we couldn't believe what we see.... the place is so new..... and sooooo...... quiet! its not a shopping place like we thought, and it is not a shopping centre but a cluster of shops and shophouses. AND there were not many shops opened yet~.... reaching there early left with a bigger BOREDOM~. The girls attempted to keep their hopes high as there was a nail spa opened, but the manicurist were busy and they were closing soon. Hence, we only could chilled at the restaurants and cafes. Me and a few of them were at starbucks for a cup of my fave Green Tea Frappe, while the rest went out of sight and unknown.

After the long wait, the mini concert was going to start! It was the first time i see meet Desiree, haha i was introduced as the 'newest junior'... I've never heard her singing also, hence the guys were busy promoting her CD's songs to me just before the show started. I briefly listened, and the show started. Desiree's live performance, i must say its NICE! I like her singing and stage presence too. A band group 'Crossfire' was playing for her and Diya showed up as guest. Desiree performed quite a few songs in her album, and there were some interaction in between. I bought her CD there, I'm sure its worth the value. After the show, we were invited to join the qing gong yan. But there were some delays in between, at first was vehicle arrangement problem too many ppl too little cars, then it was Kenn's tyre punctured, Crossfire members helped to change the tyre.

We went over to a nearby music cafe for the event, over there Desiree helped us signed on our albums, sort of a mini autography session :) can see she was quite tired le, but was on all smiles while signing for us. The group of us also had a small chat with Kenn. It was then midnite liao, going back to hotel again raise the vehicle arrangement problem, furthermore, the cabs were reluntant to enter the zone as it was in the opposition parties' territory and there were some protest in the afternoon in the vicinity. The operator of the call centre tried to appeal for cabs but failed. We thought were all going to be stuck overnite. Then suddenly, some hero cabbies were brave enough to accept the call and we finally managed to go back to hotel. It was abt 2am liao. When we were back, after bathing, we swopped room with the girls as our room has 2 beds, after combining will be bigger than the queen size in their room. We had a small talk after the swop and off we go to dreamland.

In the morning, we checked-out and went over to Sogo's foodcourt for breakfast together, after that went for short walk, then went back to hotel ready for the van to pick us up. On our way back, it was pouring heavily. Saw a major accident involving at least 5 vehicles on the expressway. The rain was so heavy till the rain started to leak till the roof vents of the bus. Water was raining down on some of us. We tried to tie plasticbags below the vents to collect the water, preventing it to reach other. After a few attempts and modification, we managed to stop the leakage. And the way home was quite quiet and so soon, we arrived Singapore~ End of my naggy entry abt the trip. :)

Hair Stunt

I PERMED MY HAIR~! I LOOKED WEIRD CERTAIN ANGLE!

Haha but you won't see it in this photo~

Tinyboxer KTV

2 Weeks after the trip, some of us met up for a singing session~ I shan't talk much, the photos will tell the stories~ kekez i was the entertainer and Ms Liting aka Pineapple Stop snap snap snap zillions of photos again~ dot dot... i look ugly enough with my permed hair but she took all the wrong angle!

<-- all photos are mainly taken by this crazy snapper

One of the many random entries

2008-07-13T12:56:00.009+08:00

1 Of The Many Random Entries

Its been a month of owning my first car. 'Mr Black' was match-made by my mum and uncle. I requested for them to help me source for a good 2nd hand car, as they had more free time and my uncle used to be a car mechanic... I went online frequently to search/hunt for good buys, but they all end up to be either bad in condition, or was previously met with accident. After a long long period, one fine day when i reached home... they behaved suspiciously... then suddenly "come down here..." wah so serious i thought what happened. then my uncle showed me a receipt... haha they placed deposit for me on a 1 and half yr old Black Vios... I was like... huh?? I haven see the car b4... sure good or not? More over I was stunned lah, can't accept the fact that i am owning a car liao... After 2 days, on 11/06 'Mr Black' and I met. He looked simple and the condition was perfectly fine. The moment i opened the door, i felt the car was as good as new.

Of cos, 'Mr Black' don't come free... I'm not a rich man's kid. I had to pool my resouces and settle the first payment, and some miscellaneous... Financially, for this month was super tight, i had to dig into my emergency resource. I've never seen a -$11 in any account before... negative sia~ but thats the so call ATM account, keke...of cos i've got my other sources...

The whole month of June, was pretty was different, I no longer had to be frustrated in the morning rushing hours... I feel more relaxed these days... no more squeezing MRT & Bus, no more long waiting phone booking + standing by the roadside for those over-charging cabbies (i heard they are asking for fuel surcharge, wah lau think they are aeroplane now...)...

Work
Its kinda of stressful this month... Sometimes its not that I'm not trying my best, but things just happen in a better way... Recruitment was really bad this quarter, most of the candidates were from referrals, only 1 was from me from the 'cold'. Interview rate dropped quite alot... I bearly meet 2 person a week...its that bad... The worse is to have to face indirect and direct pressure from superiors... I'm not the kind who will not work hard for the company, but its just not possible to be forever the best... Sometimes I really hate it when i see examples the raised which sounds and 'look' so much like they are referring to me...

Then current ppl that I've recruited, also problematic... I just don't understand how some people think... I feel irritated by their actions.. I was wondering if i had judgement problem nowadays... Some people just totally changed... not like the person i knew months ago... disappointed... not just disappoint by the person's working/learning attitude but also the person's values... When i don't like a person, I won't be able to make myself talk to the person, but as a HR person as a friend, I still care... but i just don't know how to show my concern more than my cold shoulders..

On the other hand, my sales was stable but still not ideal to my expectations...i'm not meeting enough people, knowing more people and not following up properly.. sometimes i must admit, the mood and time were affected by the poor recruitment result, and of cos last month's singout also took quite abit of my time away... But I'm glad to hear positive comments from some friends on me as their friend/consultant. At least, I'm not like those pushy type to them... but sometimes i get too over-excited and sounded like sales man...which i think its quite bad la... I'm not-a-salesman doing consultant-and-service-related sales... I'm a friend, a 3rd party who helps to look at a macro-view on clients' financial status...soemtimes we are just too focus on the micro and think that we don't need to think big, think long... so i'm here to help~

Singout related
DVD of 3 discs @ $20, available @ MusicStory

Just got the DVD, watched my performance and i think i looked weird lah... my mic control sucks big time~ my actions... wah lau eh... see liao i also paiseh... haha.. But still its a good momento...never got to keep my past performance videos, especially those acting ones i did in Millennia. Actually not only I was funny, my fellow contestants also had 1 or 2 funny moments... LOL... eh guys... go collect your DVDs! and by the way, when will we be singing again? And the getai that i mentioned the other time, need you guys to commit time for practice too. It shld be abt 3 week of August.

a short video of Wendy singout 'kan qing' at rehearsal

By the way, my partner Wendy has just recorded a singles CD for one of her competition in Malaysia. The CD includes her recording of 'Kan Qing' (by Qing Song Wan Yue Tuan) and a group song by the contestants. It is priced at appx S$9, and the sales will be computed for with her finals' result. She is really good! If you're interested, please let me know by this coming Tuesday.

Post Competition Feelings

2008-06-16T00:22:00.007+08:00

Post Competition Feelings

Finally its over, that very evening ended so fast... The good news first, my partner, Wendy and I won the best duet. She emerged as 1st runner up. Proud of her! :) She is really a talent! Seriously, I am totally impressed by her! She can sing and can dance damn well! 200+ awards over 4 years. And she is only 14! Wendy, i really appreciate the chance to able to sing and collaborate with you! :) all the best for future...~

That day was damn bz lor, morning had to find money changer for dear...cos we were looking for russia currency... then went to style my hair by Anne-my prefered stylist... then drove down to DBS auditorium. My clothes were like so many lor... and the other barang barang, i had to split the load twice lor~ cos i had to protect the condition of the clothings.. Then did our rehearsal, I sucked lor... and i didn't know... they say i sang flat for quite a few notes...which i didn't realise.... then my fast song's rehearsal, i couldn't jump much cos i wasn't wearing the actual costume, and my pants are going to drop down lor... i'm so damn affected by the 'flat' thing and the 'pants' thing...

After a few hours of preparation, it was time for performance... duet time, i nearly forgot my lyrics, and i wasn't into the song till the middle... but overall everyone said it was nice... and i was in top 8 for the first round. It was unbelievable... That encouraged me abit... and I kept listening to my mp3 to memorise my fast song during the interval... and when it was time to perform i just act like a 'crazy' person lor... kekez...enjoyed the fun on stage lah... but i know i didn't really attract alot of crowds...the audience were mostly, 'what the hell, he looked nerd' kinda of face... kekez... but some aunties laughed lah... i saw!... the judges no expression one kekez... so i ignored them lol...no wonder i lose... :p

When they annouced the top 6, i was just keeping myself positive... everyone got chance one... and of cos i didn't get mine... i witnessed alot of disappointment fr the contestants...and being the 'happy fruit' i remained high... i know the kinda of feeling... what i can do is to stay cheerful...to me if everyone starts to feel sad, it will be more sad lor... then bunny came to ask me out... i saw all of them-my supporters, sitting one row...they thought i was disappointed or sad... but they looked more disappointed and sad... i thanked them and all of them wanted to leave early... i tried to ask them stay, but they refused so i can't do anything but to thank them...later i came to know that they spent some money to support me and most of all they loved my performance which i'm really happy about... but they somehow thought it was abit unfair... i don't know how and don't wish to comment...cos personally i asked myself, if i think its unfair then why am i still here competing? how did i managed to get into finals? Maybe alot of people don't know how i think ba... i'm alien! :p anyway its sad to see everyone gone... afterall, i did win best duet and no one-or shld i say not many, were there clapping for me...

After the event, i was hoping to eat with someone... but none was there... i had to pack my own stuffs, and carry them...i was last to leave the changing room... and i struggled to my car... i called a few ppl but all were on way home or didn't answer... i suddenly felt so lonely and bad... i thought, "why is it that everyone is so realistic(xian shi)?" "lose only ma? so what? i'm the the one who lost, i'm ok leh... but why everyone like that?" "why no one was there for me, since u all know i lose...?" I was driving alone on the quiet shenton way, then suddenly radio played 'wo you chu lian le', i turned it off... cos I'm affected... Yes, maybe i'm disappointed, but it won't hurt so bad if more people were there with me thru out...It was when i'm alone then i feel emotions were kinda of collasping... Anyway, i managed to catch dear thru hp, and rushed down to her hoping for supper... i didn't eat whole day lor..only ate 2 sandwiches during the reception at 6pm...but when i reached, she was done with dinner with Chester and Dorine. In the end, i sent her home and ate with the couple.

I really appreciate all who came to support... its my first competition and i must say, the support was strong... just abit emotional abt the end... but its just my side of feelings when i didn't know why you guys did that... When Chester told me what happened, i agreed but still feel that you guys shld still stay lah.. at least to see me win best duet ma... :p anyway, i thank you guys again and to those who wished me luck but couldnt turn up...

Singout finalists, all of you did a great job! don't be sad! Collin will be there supporting you guys...! Thanks for enduring my cheesy and not funny jokes. We don't really know each other since i'm kinda of 'adopted'-fang lao shi's analogy... but I enjoyed the crapping session during the countless waiting time....

Wendy: "You are great! I can still hear your singing in my mind lor...Don't forget to study hard k... both studies and performing must be good! Jiayou! I'll support you!"

Zhuming: "Smile more! Sometimes i can't see your face lor(hair too much)... lol.. You have the potential, try showing more of those talents and i'm sure you will enjoy more! Congrats and all the best!"

Ben: "You always looked cute and funny when on stage...dont be shy lah.. we know you're not... lol...Congrats and all the best!"

PJ: "You're talented lor, Jap lah, Eng lah, Chinese lah, Tamil lah... all know how to sing...! You've got a nice voice! All the best!"

Vivian: "V-power is the best fuel Shell has leh, you also power leh... Ah mei voice packed in your small small frame... kekez... don't emotion liao... show your face abit more leh.. :p You are good but guess you need more experience and the direction on what you want to perform and the confidence to perform, jiayou!

Daphne: "You are so bubbly lor... haha... sometimes you got the blur look and sha da jie... kekez... all the best! Must take good care of your Vivian meimei and your lion hor!"

Winnie: "Yoz, your singing also good lor... at least i could recognise you and remember your 'ben lai'... your character also quite bubbly kekez..."

Jordan: "You are young and there's a long way ahead... you've got a pretty and supportive mum, must take good care of her too...! You are a nice guy, like don't have temper one lor... kekez... Jia you! All the best!"

Ivan: "Ivan! You are good too k! At least i felt that your 'wo bu hui chang ge' during semi-finals made me feel that your deserve the finals! Really, i told you before right... :p strengthen your weaknesses and i'm sure you will be more confident to perform those dance and fast songs!Jia you!"

Ella: "You have a power vocal! Have more confidence in yourself, and i'm sure you will stand on stage with the charm~ All the best!"

Seow Fong: "Da jie, you have the confidence to perform and the vocal too. Don't worry abt age! We know you have a young heart! All the best"

Anqi: "You really changed to another person on stage~ I like your performing attitude! Like normal person transform into superhero lor... You are impressive too... Jiayou k! All the best!"

Terence: "You are a veteran contestant liao... exprience is your strength, daring to venture into your unfamiliar is a your strength... and most of all you have a good appearance! Hope you will be recognised someday! All the best!"

Rial: "Your vocal is sexy. More experience will definitely help you understand how you can make better use of your strengths... All the best!"

Alton: "You have some advantages/strengths that others don't have... understand yourself better and i'm sure you'll be better! there's lots of opportunities ahead of you~ jia you~"

Meanwhile, no more competition for me liao at least for this year ba... i need to work hard liao... who knows maybe PSS 2009, i might try my luck~ then it will be my first time trying for it... Jacky, let's go together hor... lol...

Special thanks to these people: Dear, Chester, Dorine, Thomas (Boss), Boon Seng and gf, Stephanie and bf, Mandy, Minhui, Shangzhuang, Michelle, Cherie, Hanlin, Jacky, Mathilda, Shu Zhen, Bell, Kelvin Goh, Louis and gf, Desmond Ong, Justin, Felynn Jerlyn roommates and friends, Qiaoli and friends, Jimmy and gf, Mum, Uncle, Cedric... also to Jasmine, Jingyi, Rebecca, Minhui & Peiqi (CJC), Joan, Calvina, Evelyn, Glynis... whoever help and supported me in a way or another which i'm sorry that i can't recall at this moment...and lastly the Singout Finalists who have been thru the thick and thin together...

Signboards made by Stephanie~

Pre Finals Feeling

2008-06-12T23:53:00.003+08:00

Pre-Finals Feelings

Dear Hydrology,

h2o is having alot of mixed feelings. These 2-3 months of audition, quarter-finals, semi-finals to now grand finals, have been a rough and tough journey... Its kinda of weird that i would agree to join when Jacky & Evelyn asked me.. But since i was there at the audition, must as well just just participate for experience.. Audition was super last min, i just went on singing my best song that time - wo ai de ren. I was very nervous, my ears were red lah.. Jacky can be my witness! But i believed that I could at least be qualified, after all my singing isn't too bad rite? :p And when the judges gave me positive comments, I was like 'wow!', i'm actually not too bad to listen for the professional ears of the judges.

Then quarter-finals came, i was still feeling nervous, but this time not holding to much believe, cos its like so few space for semi-finals and so many good contestants.. When i was there at the music school, i felt very uneasy, cos alot of them looked like they want fame more than to sing the story of the songs... I was first to sing, and i didn't managed to sing the full song, it reduced even more of my chance, but i guess i was lucky, my timing was long enough to make me one of the semi-finalist.

It was only when I was in Semi-Finals then i started to dream of more... I wanted very much to perform at DBS auditorium, becos i was performing there about 14 years ago, when my choir instructor invited me and 1 other friend to perform with her other students... That day at the semi-finals was a long long wait, and so many good contestants lor. It seems so impossible to get to finals. And eventually i didn't managed to get in. Was disappointed but glad that i could go so far. Maybe god was on my side that day, I was selected to replace one of the finalist which they decided to eliminate due to some reasons. And alot of people encouraged me, Glynis, Jacky, Kelvin Lim, Mathilda, Jaymee, and many more... When Glynis told me that her sis, helped me with some good words, and told her that she believe of more capability, i told myself that i have to do justice to her believe in me! The fact that i was given such a rare chance i have to do well, and I really sacrificed alot of work time for rehearsals and practices. From just singing to putting the acting element to the performance. I must do more in order to challenge the pros in the finals. And i believe my hardwork will be seen soon. Seriously, Jacky, Glynis, Mathilda definitely knows that i am damn bad at memorising lyrics lor... KTV got words i also sing wrong... lol... I hope i don't make mistakes during the finals!

I've gotten quite a good support from alot of friends and their friends. I believe on Saturday nite, my 40 strong 'fans' will help me to cheer and witness my hardwork. For those who can't make it, i'll try to get someone video it... :) Wish me luck!

My First Singing Competition

2008-05-22T09:05:00.007+08:00

My First Singing Competition
These 2 clips' viewing status are already changed from private to public.

Quarterfinals - Wo Ai De Ren

I was really nervous. The thought of singing in front of a group of strangers and some of them are actually learning singing- meaning they can be quite qiang, I was thinking of ways not to become a joke. After seeing my video, I think I had many pitching problems throughout the song, and my body language was lousy! When I saw this video, I was like.... ermmm... ok looks and sound...erm... ya~ The judges commented that my shoulders were stiffed. They mentioned that my chorus[s] have not much differentiation/variation. And my mic control was not ideal, affecting the reception of my voice. The good thing they like was generally my tone techniques used, to bring emotions. I didn't managed to complete the song, but I was eventually given green light to semi-finals based the length/timing of my performance.

Semi Finals - Can Fei

It was a long wait before my turn, by the time my turn came, i was feeling dehydrated and super nervous liao. Actually my eyes were not really opened cos my bloodstream was folding super fast! Anyway, this performance wasn't good enough too. I didn't feel anything while watching the video, and my body language was as bad as the Quarterfinals. I feel its a normal performance lor, maybe it sounds too safe and normal ba. No wonder I didn't go thru' directly. Hmm... I will try to do better in the grand finals. Wish me luck! Supporters are still welcome to contact me regarding ticketing :)

I Don't Want To Be A Cockroach!

2008-05-18T02:34:00.007+08:00

I Don't Want To Be A Cockroach!

In any industry/society, there will be the good and bad people. The general impression about the insurance industry probably had a more negative image in the past, which continues to be imprint in many minds and has been passed down the family line.

Sometimes, i just hope people can think of the bigger picture, realising the need and importance of having at least some extent of protection. Insurance - now more known as Financial Services Industry, does not only revolve around death, critical illness, disability, terminal illness, but also retirement planning. investment to enchance wealth, and mid-long term savings planning.

You shouldn't be suprised when you hear someone saying that he/she don't give a damn if he/she departs the world today, because some people i met are that irresponsible about their life and their loved ones.

You shouldn't be surprised when you hear people saying that I don't need to spend out of my own pocket, he/she can always go seek help from government, because i've met people saying this, and it was from a family man- who is a sole breadwinner.

You shouldn't be surprised when you hear people saying that I don't need much money for funeral-final expenses, hence he/she don't need insurance, because i've also heard this before.

You shouldn't be surprised that some people thinks that as long as they marry a rich partner, they don't need any planning for themselves and should invest on their appearances, or other areas to get geared up to meet the golden turtle, again because i've seen and heard it all.

You shouldn't be surprised that people start evaluating me, whether i'll stay long in the career or evaluating whether i'm meeting them for a purpose to sell them some thing, because haha... its true.. I won't be surprised at all.

No matter what reasons these people gave for not accepting the idea of planning, i seriously don't think i should give a damn, because i don't need to talk to people who can't be responsible for themselves. They better let inflation and the miserable interest rate 'eat' their money or let do their own investment if they think they are good at it [at least they lose the money in their own hands] or let them just simply spend their money to their last cent; why should i bother when they can't be bothered?

Back to the topic, there are bad consultants out there doing all sorts of wrong things. I hope you realise you are shity and hope you don't make it and quickly get out of the industry. We need some clean air. I'm witnessing some big agencies doing massive recruitment using all sorts of wrong methods. I'm sad, sad for those who joined, and sad that they are making us in the industry looking like monsters and scaring away alot of people. Be responsible recruiter, and be responsible consutant! argh~

I hope people realise that I'm not a cockroach, but a consultant who wishes to see my clients/friends, to have enough for retirement, don't need to worry if any misfortunate events happens, and can have a good financial status in time to come. Well, it takes alot of hardwork to prove this point, and i hope it won't take too long to let YOU realise this fact.

I Want To Be Your Lifetime Consultant!

A Small Twist of Fate~

2008-05-04T01:01:00.008+08:00

2 Twists of Fate

Recently, in fact just within 3 days, i experienced twice-twist of fate....everything seems so damn wrong and negative, but within 3-4 hours in the day, the incidents took a new twist and everything seems so fine...

The first twist happened last Wednesday, i was helping my client with some admin work and was able to secure the deal but i didn't expect that what i've helped resulted in some negative chain reaction on my production and commission. It was like damn sway lah. I was just being helpful and i don't expect any thing in return, but i end up causing myself into more problems. My manager was like ranting and asking me that why i didn't know that my helpful act won't pay off. Then he cited some compliance issues that i would get myself into. I'm already very demoralised, after knowing that the sales might not be counted. I didn't feel like he is providing me any solutions. That adds up to my disappointment. And the worse thing is that i have to attend Kai Cheng's birthday, meaning i cannot sulk my face or feel sad. I tried to hide my disappointment and crapped during the celebration at Turf City. The food was great, all thanks to Mr Ho Kai Cheng~! First time eat, 'Buddha Jump Wall'... During dinner, my senior called, he proposed to me a possible solution and it was like oh... so hopeful... then everything was smooth after that, but i still don't know if there will be any underwriting problem, i seriously hope not...~

The 2nd twist was on Saturday. I went for the Semi-finals of Singout '08 - a singing competition. Guess most of you don't know about it. Anyway, I was sabotaged in a way to join the competition. There were 32 contestants (including me and Jacky). The contestants were relatively strong. But i do want to go into the finals, partly because of the Finals' venue: DBS Auditorium. I was performing at the venue, 18 years ago~ I remember my primary school choir instructor picked me and another friend to perform with her outside students in a combine concert. Ok, back to the semi-finals, I was number 23 and i waited from 12 - 4pm then it was my turn to be perform. Dear and Kelvin were there to support us. I sang 'can fei' and kneeled towards to end of the song, despite my knee injury. I had to add it into my performance to leave an impression. In the end, i received quite a good response/applauds from the crowd, considering that they didn't really clap much for most of the contestants. Quite happy about my performance. But at the announcing of results, i was eliminated. The organiser gave a surprise by allowing 2 more guys and 2 more girls to go into the finals. They picked 8 contestants up stage and i wasn't one of them. At the end of the day, me and jacky didn't go into Finals.

Both of us were joking about what happened after the competition, although we were disappointed but i think we handled it well. I was damn tired, so i decided to go home with dear after the dinner. While taking a nap in bus, my hp rang~ The number seemed like my office number, I was expecting something like "Hi I'm XXX, calling from Prudential..." but it turned out to be "Hi I'm Tommy, calling from Music Story, I would to inform you that you have advanced to the finals." I was like...huh? Is a this a prank? I was exhilarated and surprised. Speechless.... I'm in the finals!

Dear friends, I need your support now. The finals will be on 14 June 2008, 6pm, DBS Auditorium. The tickets are at $10 if you booked from me before this Thursday (08/05). If not it will be the usual price @ $15. You will be entitled to 5 votes during the event and 50% of the result will be from voting, the other 50% by professional judging. If you are interested, call/sms me now! If you're a passerby, and interested, can email me @ theplainwater@hotmail.com

I'll be judged for; Round 1- Duet, Round 2-Fast Song. Then only top 4 contestants will go into round 3 to face-off to be the Champion of 1st Singout.

Round 1: 20% Votes / 80% Professional Judging

Round 2: 50% Votes / 50% Professional Judging

Round 3: 50% Votes / 50% Professional Judging

My New Job

2008-03-29T16:11:00.004+08:00

My New Job

These few months working as a Recruitment Officer with my current company had enriched me. Learnt alot of things and met of lot of people. Another happy thing, is that I'm recognised in the company for my effort. Somehow, my recruitment result was set as a benchmark. I'm seriously not used to the kind of recognition especially when I'd seldom receive commendation in the past. Even the colleagues know me, and often refer me as a senior recruiter, or best recruiter in the company. They remember me of my results and my recruitment campaign. Seriously, to my own standards it not even good. Everytime, I hear those flattering comments, I feel flattered and actually pressurised, as the expectation are getting higher. But I believe that I continue with my belief in recruitment and maintain the pace, it shouldn't be a problem to meet the ultimate target.

Now, I've moved on to the next stage of my career with the company. After going through a series of studies, training, and tests, I've finally qualified to provide financial advisory service. My manager had discussed with me, I'll continue to serve the company as Recruitment Officer, and has the flexibility to do advisory sales during free time. This means that my life will be fully-packed from this mention onwards, but I'm happy with it. This is the time to work at optimum effort to see results and rewards. I want to win back the time I lost during my education path.

Having decided to join the Financial Service industry, means that I'll definitely work towards making this a lifetime job, to serve my policyholder as long as I'm alive. This is my commitment I give to my prospects.

Being someone who believes in savings and financial planning even before being a consultant, this new job provides me more comprehensive tools to plan for myself and for others. I hope you guys start planning for yourself. Be it with me, or with others or even by yourself, I seriously urge you to start planning, and not spend to the last cent in your bank.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to the challenges ahead. Wish myself all the best!
Take care!

the textbooks and notes that i 'swallowed' within the past 1-2 months...

Random Update

2008-03-13T23:58:00.006+08:00

Random Update

These few weeks have been very busy with work... interviews, studying, exams... now on product and operation course... I'll be qualified to give financial advice soon... more details will be updated later in next entry...

Marutama Ra-men @ Central (Level 3), My Latest Favourite!

It uses chicken soup rather than its rivals' pork bones/ribs soup or miso soup... The chicken soup is very chicken~ very rich taste! I love the soup! The meat melts in your mouth~

I recommend that you try the original Marutama Ramen if you are a 1st timer. Taste the original one first, then venture into exploration...

Jacky & Me - Gang Suo

Jacky - Wu Gu

Jacky & Me - Wo You Chu Lian Le

KTV Video Clips

2008-02-04T00:14:00.001+08:00

KTV Video Clips

Me - Wo Ai De Ren

Me - Na Shou Ge

Jacky - Xin Bu Liao Qing

Mathilda - Chen Jin Tai Nian Qing

Mathilda - Wo Bu Nan Guo

Mathilda - Bai Se Hun Li

Me & Jacky - Ying Wei Wo Xiang Xing

Me & Mathilda - Xin Dong Xin Tong (1st time)

Jacky & Mathilda - Yi Yan Shun Jian

1st of 2008

2008-01-21T10:43:00.000+08:00

1st of Two Zero Zero Eight

Today is the 21st day of January, and now then I'm posting my 1st post of the year~ All thanks to the busy schedule and my bro~ Anyway, I never really had much time to surf at home~

Alright, lets start with the last day of 2007 & first day of 2008. I was planning for a private celebration with Dear, hence I rented a car, to avoid squeezing bus/mrt, and long waiting time. I only got the vehicle at night, went to fetch dear and brought her to Changi Village to eat her favourite Chicken Cutlet Ipoh Hor Fun, and my favourite 'Red Tea Jelly & Longan' Dessert. After dinner, we went to Terminal 3 to count down. The place is cool~ I like the plants and interior design. Most of all, there was no one 'guarding' it, I went around playing at the department hall's counter equipments. Played with the luggage belt cum weighing machine and out of curiously i went to press the belt control button and the belts moved, but a loud buzz went off... LOL... some people around us were stunned including us! hahaha... actually nothing one, its normal~ just that the place is too quiet, the buzz turned out to be louder~ Thereafter, we drove down to Bt Timah and played pool with Chester & Dorine.

2nd Day, dear and I went vivocity, and central for shopping and lunch. We tried the authentic Japanese Ramen on level 3 of Central. I love the soup, its very rich in taste and its uses chicken soup which is different from some. The cha shu melted in my mouth... Must try it! Then we went to Sentosa to meet Chester & Dorine to watch the Songs of the Sea Musical Fountain. Its quite nice, but it was the ambience at Sentosa that attracted me. I felt like I was really a tourist, and the view there is some much different from the past. I guess the good windy weather was one of the factor that added the X-factor to the ambience that evening. We took a stroll along the beach and ended up at Coffee Bean drinking, eating and chatting.

Fast forward to 11th of January. It was the day before my birthday, after work I went down to Tian Hwee's work studio to audition for singing class. Yes, I finally decided to learn some techniques of singing, cos I'm really irritated by my limitation in singing. I want to be able to express emotions better in singing thru' better techniques and coaching. Anyway, it was sort of a birthday present for myself. After that, I went to meet up with Dear at bugis to have dinner. We met up with Chester & Dorine later and we drove around and ended up Labrador Park for a stroll. Dear and the couple, bought me a Strawberry Strudel for birthday, and we count-down and celebrated my birthday there, 'quietly' with a bit of commotion.

On the actual day, Dear was busy with SP open house, hence we only met up late afternoon. She planned to bring me to Equinox @ Raffles City, using a voucher she won in a lucky draw. But my blur dear, as usual wasn't attentive to details and didn't realise that the voucher can only be used during weekdays. Lucky I was quick to notice it before we went up, otherwise the dinner will cost a bomb for her. To avoid her disappointment, I picked a cheaper yet not so lousy place to let her treat me, we went to Pariss for buffet. Frankly its not nice lor, 1st time there and will be the last time. Later that night, we went to watch 'American Gangster' with Mr C & Miss D. I like the show! Its not action action type but it has an attractive story about a smart gangster, I like Denzel Washington's acting in the show.

The next day, me and Jacky went singing at the new KTV at Bugis, in the ex-icon building. The service there not bad, interior deco oso nice but the system is not easy to use and the songs are not as up-to-date. Overall, didn't like there. After that we went to meet up with the Bt Panjang people at Marina Sq's MOF for Japanese food. The food is okay there, but i must say that the dessert there is nice~! We had a mini celebration there. After dinner, we went to play bowling! It was fun! We split ourselves into 2 groups and challenged.

And lastly just recently, last weekend. went to Wharfman Fish & Chip near Clarke Quay with Mad Club. It was a super last minute outing, I wasn't informed until few hours before. I rushed down from SWAMI after service, and had dinner there. The fish & chip is tasteless, the fries were not fried properly-alot were over fried and the other dish was too oily. I didn't finish my food. Anyway, after dinner we walked over to Clarke Quay's Clinic, and wanted to chill there, but me and dear were surpposed to meet Chester & Dorine, so we left earlier, and joined them for dinner at Central and a game of pool at Bt Timah.

I want to thank some people here for the well wishes, celebration and presents.

First of All, definitely have to thanks my dear-Jaymee for the arrangement and the new hp you brought for me!

Next, Chester & Dorine, for the time spent together and the countless efforts made.

The Bt Panjang people-Yanting, Shuling, Xan, Joyce, Eric, Daniel, Limin(including C & D) for the celebration and the wallet.

Thanks Limin for the T-shirt.

Thanks Boon Seng for the dinner treat.

Thanks Mad Club-Michelle, Cherie, Hanlin, Suyin, Jacky, Apple, Ian, Zhebin, Jacob, for the dinner and the Shirt.

Thanks Kelly for the pen!

Thanks for the sms/phone/friendster well wishes from Star(Lynnett), Kelvin Goh, Jacky & Kelvin Lim, Chester & Dorine, Joyce, Yanting, Jeanette, Shuling, Jasmine Tan, Min Hui, Joan Lee, Jingyi, Kelly, Boon Seng, Agnes Low, Xan, Eric, Michelle, Daniel, Michael, Alan Oh, Cherie, Han Lin, Tien Wee, Liling.

Singapore High Court?

2007-12-26T10:57:00.000+08:00

Singapore High Court?

I am DAMN MAD now... Some China People is using the name of Singapore High Court to con now! Please practice caution and let everyone know about it...

What happened?
I am still sleeping, since i was told to go work at 1pm by my boss... at about 1030am, today (26/12) my residential phone rang, and i picked up.... i was received by a chinese voice recorded message, saying something like this "这是Singapore High Court 语音录音，您有一则讯息。更多详情请按9" (This is Singapore High Court voice recorded message, you have an information. For more detail please push 9). I didn't think much, thought High Court so i pressed 9. Then i was pulled thru a music - Show Luo's Hui Se Gong Jian, then i was finding it weird... High Court use music that is so not "official"? Then a Chinese Woman answered the call, she said "Singapore High Court" and the rest she spoke chinese in the rich china-influenced slang. Asked me is this number is residential or company number. Then tried to ask for my full name... I asked if i could receive the message via voice recorded message again..then she insist i need to provide my full name. but before she could get my full name, I disrupted the conversation by speaking English to her saying "It okay, I will be expecting a letter from High Court, if its important, I think this is another scam, BYEBYE!"

I'm damn angry with those cheaters! I received phone calls from China-people via hp before and was nearly cheated without any prior information about the scams. These idiots are using "Singapore High Court" a high authority's name to cheat.... They will not be forgiven...! I've tried to contact the newslines but it seems that they are not answering... So i had no choice but to post here! I suspect that they are using the name Singapore High Court, either out of convenient and thinking that its an authority, the people who answer to phone calls will be worried if they had done anything wrong... or they are an actual company by the name of "Hi Court", "Hi Cord", or "高庭", "高格"! If you know anyone working in the press or media, please let them know to expose this scam before people get cheated!

I got to rush and prepare for work... Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year!

Finally Working!

2007-12-14T00:56:00.000+08:00

Finally Working

after a month of job seeking, i've secured a job... in fact i've been working for a week liao... i'm working as a recruitment officer at an insurance firm... the job was introduced by my financial advisor... since it was like my first office bound job, I was preparing myself for the interview - buying shirt & pants and doing my 'homework' on the company...

Prior the interview, i did a personality test(DISC test)... then during the interview, the sales manager was like trying to coax me join to be financial advisor instead of recruitment officer, saying that my profile suits to do the job, as i was more of an "I" person... kept persuading me and persuading me... but i was firmed of my decision, and i was sort of prepared that I will be proached to do sales as i approached one of my volunteer friend who is a financial advisor.... anyway, i insisted that i'm only interested in the recruitment officer job... and he offered me the job immediately... i was surprised but happy that i finally found a job...

However, these few day of working, i realised that what my volunteer friend told me was true... the manager is trying to make me into a financial advisor, which i'm really reluctant to do now.... To me, if i ever be a financial planner/advisor, i'll probably do it for the rest of my life...becos i think it is my responsibility to be in the line after my clients signed policies from me... i am the one who is in charge, and i serve till the policy ends... I strongly believe in after sales services.... Now that I'm still young, I don't want to be stucked in it...so I really don't want to be one now... another thing about the job that is holding me back is that i had bad experience with MLM, and there are some similarities in both jobs in terms of marketing... so i'm really not comfortable about it...

These few days have been interesting... as i got to meet alot of people for interview and got to understand some people's characteristics... i went into looking at gestures and content of conversation to find out more abt those candidates... i also saw some of the worse resumes in my life.... the kind of photos they post totally fail one lor... anyhow take, must well don't put photo... the negative side is that the manager isn't really supportive about things i do...for example i wanted candidates to draw... he said "draw WHAT?! don't need to do that..." i just wanted to pick up more hints about the candidate, but all he is interested about is whether they wanna join us... sianz... then he is trying to send me out on streets to do 'survey' to get people come for interview... this was what i did last time... i hated it... every kid can do it... i think its kind of 'downgrading' to do it... i really don't like to do things that i got sick doing... last time really every night for 3 - 4 months, kept standing on streets in shirt and pants to pester people to do survey... agh~!

Anyway, i think i gonna endure lah... need the experience so that the next job will be easier to hook... sianz... i'm damn tired everyday...~ and on hand i have the volunteer xmas project... not really getting enough help... think its gonna be quite a sucky one... argh... i cannot let my project be yucky and sucky.... 1 more week to make it better!!! alright, thats all for my ranting... hope i can find time and chance to blog...[my 'good' brother has been hogging the computer and has not been working for dont know how long]... i shall not start another ranting... i better end here...! FULLSTOP

Negative Morning

2007-11-22T10:16:00.000+08:00

Negative Morning

Someone made me wanna add arguments in my cover letter to show that CCA/Social Activities are also a form of experience and definitely hardwork! Someone from job agency tried to bullshit to me!

It all started with a resume i sent... i saw this executive assistant job with good pay, so i just sent my resume to try luck... the same day in the afternoon when i was going out to Jacky's place, someone called, i immediately thought it was Jacky and was trying to ask him whether his place was raining in my opening sentence.... then an unfamiliar voice replied me... then i realised its not Jacky.. He was the guy i emailed regarding the job... the unusual opening to our conversation led to a good ending, when he asked me if i want to join his company instead, then he will refer me to his colleagues. I was quite happy becos its the first reply after sending out some resumes.

2 days later, which is today [just now] someone called... and i woke up immediately from dreamland to answer his call... he was telling me that he was reading thru my resume and would like to know what kind of jobs i'm looking... then i said maybe HR [becos i assumed this is a follow up call, recruitment = HR right?] anyway he told me off by saying i have no experience, difficult even though some companies don't mind fresh graduates...then suddenly say got 1 accounts assistant position, don't need ACCA qualifications one, and don't mind fresh graduate one...and keep nagging at me that i don't have experience don't have experience blah blah blah... then why not consider the job....and after all the negative comments, he say he is not trying to push the job to me ask me consider... which sounds bullshiting to me... you were obviously derailing me and trying to push sales... and he asked me what other jobs i like to look for... i said events... then he say same thing no experiences... then i said i wanna use some experience i've gained from my social activities to the job i gonna do, events is one of the things i always do...then he said its just CCA... wah this is really too much... the fact that i'm fresh, my resumes really got nothing much to write... i include my social activities and my achievement with the groups.... and above all those are hard work! what do you mean by its just CCA.... so its just for kids level..not good enough to be considered.... at least i have something to write about... lastly he asked me to get back to him if i'm interested in the accounts assistant job... anyway, i don't even remember that fellow's name..... he didn't even made it clear at the start...mumbled his name to me...

i feel so so so wanna write in the cover letter to respect work, especially voluntary work! anyway in case i was too naggy and you didn't know why i nagging now... its simply becos of the 'its just CCA' comment... others contents of conversation, i'm still ok... cos i know its part of his job to push sales... lol.... he stepped on my tail when he don't recognise my efforts in volunteering....

whatever lah, i will still continue my quest of the JOB~

Job Hunting

2007-11-15T01:34:00.000+08:00

Job Hunting!

I've been looking over and over again thru' jobcentral, jobstreet, monster, etc.... nothing seems interesting and suitable... maybe not all but most... hmm... i'm looking for a career, not play play one... not studying so soon until i save enough... so i hope to concentrate on career first... in the reality experiences and qualification counts... i have neither...

Things i consider:
Job scope - i'm more of interested in education, events, marketing, tourism, and some customer service related jobs... but i'm really open for opportunities...
Company - the size of company equivalent to my future career advancement... i don't mind working for small firms but they must have the qualities to be big...
Salary - this determines how much i can save for my studies and how much i'm left with to spend... important~!
Location - after 'working' 1 yr 10 months in the extreme east... i truely know how travelling time matters and how killing it can be to travel long hours... so location must be accessible... bukit panjang's buses can go central, north, south and marine parade the furthest... kekez...

sent resume for national education executive, a job which is based in schools to do coordination and planning of events and NE in school, which is something i have been doing... but my qualification is lower than expected, and till now no reply... so... kekez... should be gone case...

sent resume to STB, which was recommended by a volunteer friend..but i think also gone case liao...

other 'on hold' jobs are, events coordinator at rasa sentosa, customer service officer at singtel, marketing executive for various firms...

at the rate of development, i think i will end up working part time job first... cos i'm gonna be super broke very soon~

i'm super duper 'fan2' ah~!

if got any jobs you think suitable for me...please let me know... i assume most of you know my pattern and know whats suitable... kekez *cross fingers*

CPL no more~ ORD Loh!

2007-11-09T09:17:00.000+08:00

CPL no more~ ORD loh~!

finally out of military life... I am a Mister once again~! No more Rank + Name! At least not in the near future, since my next In Camp Training won't come so soon... 1 year 10 months of drama comes to the end.... it was really dramatic lah... full of episodes...

Episode 1: The Enlistment
like everyone, day 1 is always full of uncertainty and anticipation... the new friends, the new rules, the new place and the damn new head...!

Episode 2: The First Bookout
its like some kind of BIG day... everyone was so happy and excited.... its is even so because we got to bookout 3 days after enlistment...all thanks to the malay community! Selamat Hari Raya~! But the military rules always dampen our moods.... must sign this and that, got a good 'lecturing' before we could book out for less than 20 hours....

Episode 3: Worse Birthday
my worse birthday.... no songs no presents, no loved one... because i'm still a bloody recruit! and my luck was damn down that day... my platoon kena punished for stupid things...

Episode 4: My Riffle and my Buddy!
I am a peace lover, but hahaha firing the 1st shot was damn exciting... bang bang~! the buddy system sometimes really cocked up... especially when you and your buddy can't get a long... but luckily mine was fine...and i also found myself another buddy, Mr See!

Episode 5: First Outfield
It was raining day and night.... walking uphill down hill....

Episode 6: Muzzle Affairs
Damn bad luck... I kept reminding myself and others to keep their muzzle properly... but i ened up losing mine secretly... i really did kept it properly... somehow it disappeared...

Episode 7: Sucky Doctor
10 hours of waiting.... 30mins in the consultation room... only 5 mins of attention... and 1 stupid comment... i tasted the lousiness of military's medical services....

Episode 8: POP

Things weren't what i saw all the while... some people were obviously acting... and i was graded one of the lowest in one of the peer appraisals... many people doubted my abilities... and i was nearly disqualified to continue my route... just because some people graded my low in 1 peer appraisal.... the contradicting thing is that my platoon peer appraisal was okay and considered good... its all because they want to achieve their best interest.... anyway i still passed out and could continue after much trouble...

Episode 9: Sniper Attack

weapons and weapons....all day long.... cleaning and greasing, cleaning and greasing.... thats a routine of a weaponman... but it was an eye opener to be able to see and fire so many weapons... even those that we see only in games came real... the best was still during the sniper course... it was such a privilege to use it... and the experience of making and wearing of the geeli suit was memorable...

Episode 10: Airborne!
right left, right left, jump! it was more thrilling than any thrill rides and it doesn't make me motion sick.... i've got a silver wing upon my chest~ yeah~

Episode 11: Pain and Suffering
Injured myself during a live descent... but had to carry on with training... didn't realise it so serious until the pain wins my mind...

Episode 12: Ugly people
People around me turned ugly.... they think i faked my injury, they think i chao keng... they think i've got a lousy attitude... no one was there for me.... Only i can save myself....

Episode 13: New Work

3 months after injury, i was posted out.... and my new job is still within the camp...which i was really reluctant to join... partly because of injury secondly because of the ugly people... being inthe same camp, means i still have to face them... sad~ but things were slightly better at the new place, even though there were still ugly people making life difficult...

Episode 14: Surgery
Finally after 10 months... i got to treat my ligament injury.... it was another level of suffering.... i've got only my loved ones.... frankly there wasn't many who cared.... and the pain was more than i expected...

Episode 15: Final Stage
Life was more peaceful, and was like after storm... after resting at home for 4 months odd, i returned to work... and things were smoother than i thought.... very soon the ORD came~

Disappeared 26 days

2007-10-27T12:40:00.000+08:00

Disappeared 26 days

I'm back! [i've been using this phrase very often, think alot other bloggers use it often too]

actually to a certain extent, i did it on purpose.... haha to let the ktv recordings stay as visible as possible... no lah not really lah.... maybe just becos i had lesser chances to use the computer and whenever i use it, i was either half-dead or almost dead, after working and travelling...16 hours gone just like that everyday...

did alot of things during these 26 days.... many many friend outings, a few birthday parties, brough elderlys to chinatown and sengkang's charity dinner, a complimentary concert, a few ktv sessions, and not to forget work work work work work work work work work work.... [work refers to ns]

anyway, i noticed the number of guest visiting has been increasing... i know several of you out there visits here religously, seeing the same posts for 26 days.... also noticed some people listened to the ktv recordings showing preferance to some songs... kekez thanks for the support care and concern..... thats y i'm posting now! kekez...

but sadly, i ending this entry here... i'll write soon.... *wave as if i have alot of fans* lol... i'm a disgusting morron~! lalalala...

Possible entries that are coming soon
-song Intros
-ord lor!
-my new good friend
-places i hate to be alone
-JAY!

A piece of summer, a peace of cheer

2007-10-01T10:44:00.000+08:00

a piece of summer, a peace of cheer

went to cheer chen's concert with kaicheng on saturday... noticed her when she sang "还是会寂寞" many years ago... then 2 years ago she was promoting "华丽的冒险" album, she became one of my favourite singer... like her clean sweet voice + 'eventful' singing and above all she is talented.... in that album i especially like, "旅行的意义"....

saturday night's concert was definitely a memorable one... me and kaicheng were immersed in her soulful singing... it was like a music therapy session.... the accoustic was nice, her singing was crystal clear.... every song was full of emotions... she looked and sounded so special that night...

she appeared like an singing angel, in a white dress with a guitar, and started off with smooth and slow pieces - singing and strumming the guitar... after singing a few songs then she greeted shyly to the audience "晚安，我是陈绮贞" and the audience laughed, because she sounded really very shy and softly with her cute voice... the mood of the concert slowly moved from "九份的咖啡店", "躺在你的衣柜", "还是会寂寞", "华丽的冒险" towards the climax when she sang "让我想一想", "女明星", "吉他手", "1234567"...almost everyone stood up... me and kaicheng stood up and wanted to 'secretly' walked to the front to take a few closer photos of her and we managed to 'steal' some shots, but it still looked far....At one point of the concert, she came on the stage to the audience... both of us rushed forward and she was standing infront of us!!Cheer also brought us a new song inspired by her concern for the less fortunate ones and an old song that had never been recorded in any of her album. Then she surpposely ended the concert with "旅行的意义", before the song, the big screens were showing the discussion about whether to get Cheer to put on a helmet while singing this song, many fans followed suit by wearing different types of helmets from home made to biker's helmet... after singing the song, she "bye!" and left the stage immediately...

everyone were shouting for encore, "encore! *clap clap clap*, encore!! *clap clap clap*, encore!!!" then she reappeared wearing her concert t-shirt with a vest.. she performed "和你在一起" "慢慢长夜" and left the stage... but we wanted more... "ENCORE! ENCORE!" both of us don't bother about the security and rushed to the front of the stage to wait for miracle to happen.... and she really came back to stage and she said "其实我不善于说话，今晚我们唱歌吧!" all of us were so happy.... and she sang "告诉我", a familiar song to all, everyone were singing together with her... she left the stage again...but audience were still very enthusiastic... chanting her name and asking her not to leave...after awhile, she reappeared again looking emotional, and said she also don't wanna leave... and she sang "太聪明".... lights were on after she finished singing... we thought the chances of her reappearing is low so both of us walked towards the exit while a handful of the audience still standing in front of stage chanting encore... just before we reached the middle of the hall, those people shouted and screaming again...she reappeared on stage for the 5th time! "微凉的你" then she and her team held hand in hand and thanked us after the song... finally, everyone were more willing to leave now....

this concert was my first concert... and i'm glad that she was the 1st artiste i've got to watch and listen! alot of the songs sounded very familiar, even though i don't know their titles, but i'm sure i'll be searching those songs and keeping more of them in my library of songs.... i enjoyed the concert with kaicheng too, he is crazy over Cheer... me too! kekez... she is so special!!!

HydroMusic Post 1

2007-09-11T03:54:00.000+08:00

HydroMusic 1

after singing with jacky and recording 14 songs, i've decided to consolidate some of the ktv recordings, since using my neeon 2 this year... [those older ones can't post due to poor sound quality]

hmm... hope you guys like our singing... i know mine sucks... lol... but the rest of them are good~ :) live performance is definitely better than these recordings, hope you all don't mind the low sound quality...

any comments on our singing? leave a msg on the tag-board ba... :)

S Pop!

2007-09-06T06:03:00.000+08:00

S Pop!

There's j-pop, k-pop, british pop and all sort of pop... heard of S-pop? Singapore's very own popular music!

Spop Hurray!, a new programme of Ch U, is searching for local music talents and budding composers/lyrists...

looks kinda of easy to participate.. haha no need queue under sun for long hours... no need sing infront of crowd...

haha i'm not a talent, not a composer nor lyrist... but i'm tempted to submit my crap... but my crap all half done... to get it done before 30 september [the closing date], abit rush... kekez... thnk my dream is still not murdered, someone please do something to murder 'it'... lol...

anyway anyone interested? i'm sure alot of those students learning in the music/singing schools will join... haha... the url is: http://spop.mediacorptv.sg/

Dear's 21st Bday

2007-09-05T04:01:00.000+08:00

Dear's 21st Birthday @ Orchard Scotts Residences

Finally, my dear's most anticipated event of the year was successfully celebrated last saturday. Actually since last year, dear has been nagging to me about how important her 21st birthday means to her. She definitely wanted it to be nice and different. Different is a difficult factor, I had to source unique venues and think of ideas for her birthday. Initially wanted to rent a shophouse unit along liang seah st, cos i've been to one of it and found it a cool and cosy venue to host a birthday gathering, then also thought having it a some restaurants, shouldn't name them cos i'm keeping it for future use... otherwise not surprising for dear liao.. kekez.. then one fine day, her sister said that she could get as a venue at a serviced appartment... at first we were reserved with the idea, but after seeing the place... wah it was almost definite that the place was cool! Orchard Scotts Residences is like the idea living place. The landscape design of the open spaces around the appartment blocks looked comtemporary, modern and relax. Furthermore the interior design of the pavilion was like an outdoor pub.

Dear invited her previous schoolmates, colleagues, swami's volunteers and some friends. She was happy to see a good turnout that evening. I was busy from the morning to the evening, from preparing signature board to balloon deco to collection of her 2 tier cake to getting present for dear on behalf of her friends to answering the numerous phone calls to entertaining the guests... lol.. basically i was all over the place. It was great to have a good friend, Chester who drove me around to get my checklist ticked.

my bukit panjang kakis

I'm happy to see dear happy for the success of the party. She was like a princess that evening, having a cool venue with balloons deco around the place; friends of everywhere coming over to give her the best wishes; a princess' 2 tier cake with tiara and pearls... Some people joked that it looked like our ROM.. lol... anyway, my job is done and efforts considered paid-off.

dear's princess cake

After the party, we went up mount faber with chester, dorine, yanting, joyce, melvin, yee xuan, silvia, peishi, johnny to have some drinks and chilled there... the live band was singing some nice oldies, think its the best way to end a day at such relaxing place. Dear and I were hungry, but we thought the kitchen's closed so dear suggested we eat cup noodles when we get back to the appartment. Dear drank 'ballerina' without an empty stomach, and ended up dizzy and was throwing up some fluid before we left... kekez... she was complaining to me about how bad she was feeling.... but still she accompanied to buy cup noodles and promised to eat with me later that night... when we reached the appartment, she threw up again and was feeling better... we sat in the living room watching tv, eating our cup noodles... the feeling was so sweet.. :) after that it was bed time, but i wasn't really tired... and was talking non-stop about how 'stupid' and direct i was the whole day, talking nonsense and feeling high... kekez... poor dear had to listen to my rantings before she fall asleep... lol...

dear and me with her signature board

I'm sure it was a memorable birthday for her, and i'm happy to be part of her fond memories... :) all the best for your future endeavours... love~

HydroSound 1

2007-08-25T20:41:00.000+08:00

HydroSound 1

Actually wanted to do this long ago, just too lazy to prepare... its my first recorded program... :) I know i sounded funny and stiff in the recording... kekez... i was damn nervous while recording... anyway, i look forward to your suggestions, tag me or email me @ theplainwater@hotmail.com :)

p.s: don't play cheat and only listen to what i recorded... at least listen thru the whole thing once k? :)

Getai, New People, Fireworks, Facial...

2007-08-20T11:06:00.000+08:00

Getai, New People, Fireworks, Facial...

its been awhile [again] since i last wrote... well i was kind of busy... helped my mum with the new stall... prepared for the 7th month getai for SWAMI... and planning for something new in this space here...

last weekend, it was the day for the 7th month program i planned for SWAMI... invited Calvina and her friends over to sing, well if i didn't remember their names wrongly, they are Felicia, Xue-er and Veron... their heavenly voices crooned the crowd... everyone was telling me they sing really nice, and asked me how i found them.. kekez... really need to thank Calvina & Evelyn for arranging it for me, not forgetting the 3 girls who came too...

Besides the the girls, i invited a retiree uncle to sing a dialect pop songs, and he is a hyperactive uncle who loves singing...he has his own collection of discs and sounds professional...The hype of the event was when Anthony appeared in handmade bikini top, weird wig and makeup, performing with Joseph who trying to pimp... the duo acted wit the song "sio ba zhang" damn funny... everyone was putting money into the bikini top's cups.. LOL...

towards the end, Gan-ma and Xiuying brought us some nice songs too... and the working staffs in the winning team of the SWAMI dancing idol brought us their winning dance... In between the performance, i arranged auction for the residents to bid for something they like, using blank cheques we gave them... they were bidding for items like mini-radio, bak gua, fans, food hampers... some amount went more than 5000...

the event ended with a casino gambling session in the hall... it was quite a mess, cos we had limited number of volunteers, we had to prepare the casino and get the residents to move orderly but they were everywhere... some older volunteers didn't bother about me and started some stations without arranging them in the order i planned... in the end, i also couldn't do anything and let it continue that way, since alot of residents were already gambling... this really the only part that i'm disappointed about... but weird thing is its seems like everyone were okay and enjoying. well, its another lesson learnt... really thank the help and support for the event from everyone...

recently, got to know some new friends in the neighbourhood thru wholivesnearyou.. most of good people and we went out for several outings to have dinner, singing, games and movie... haha we loved to gossip and talked alot of things... we have a few common enemies too... LOL... and there are definitely some buaya and bad people... and i'm really not interested to be associated with those kind... i hate it when guys ask me for numbers of another girl... i hate it when guys brag like the world is his but can't pay back the small amount of money borrowed... its damn turn off...

and there's this weird girl in the forum trying to do social escort business... and after reading some info about her, i really find her unbelievable... don't know what to say... the world is filled with super weirdos... and i cannot understand how a girl can try to 'prey' on girls to work as social escorts for her to earn commission... don't she worry that the girls might meet perverts? damn angry with this kind of people...

went to fireworks festival 2007 on sat after the getai, with dear, michelle and davin... damn crowded.... everyone looked like ants, i quoted from what dear said that night... kekez... it was our first time to the floating platform... waited for almost an hour before the fireworks started... my silly dear is really a small girl... she was looking at the fireworks with the innocent eyes and stunning look... haha... see liao you'll want to sayang her... kekez... the fireworks not as nice as previous ones we saw, its still as excited watching the fireworks... after the show, we walked to carrefour for to kill time as it was still quite early... all of a sudden, wanted to surprise dear, so sneaked into mini toons to try my luck... surprising i was able to find a really cute 'stitch' with innocent look, which resembles dear... i picked it up and found the ears can be twisted.. haha, even better... so quickly bought it and surprise her... haha... its kind of the first soft toy i bought for her... and she loved it... kekez... feels happy to see her happy... we named it 'inno' because i insisted it to be related to innocent...

yesterday went facial..... kekez... its been 5 yrs years since i first went with my mum... dear arranged it for me one... cause my skin getting bad these days... wah it was damn pain when the lady was clearing the black heads on my nose... she told me i could 'make noise' if its pain...but i paiseh lah... all girls... i only guy there... if scream i lose my pride liao... LOL... i die die also didn't make any noise... kekez... after the scratching, squeezing and etc.... my face was 'eletrocuted'.... wah don't know how to describe the pain and feel... very fast.. the 1 and half hr session ended... kekez...

A Secret That You Have To Find Out

2007-08-06T04:54:00.000+08:00

A Secret That You Have To Find Out

I've never cried like what i did for a movie... really cried, not just tears...
this is the first one...

I won't say anymore... you definitely have to watch this movie...!

Secret, 不能说的秘密 now in cinemas...

Blablabla...

2007-08-05T05:23:00.000+08:00

What I wanna write? Don't know leh...

I want to write but don't know what to write... a lot of things in mind... thought i could spill some out to ease my mind and can sleep better... at this junction, i really do not know what to write...

hmmm... just anyhow talk ba...

we brought some elderly to a nearby hawker centre for early dinner, and for them to taste outside food.... i was feeding an indian dementia uncle... i fed him with quite big spoon of bee hoon goreng, but he could not hold everything in his mouth and some bee hoon scatter over his shirt... i tried to feed small portion but still as messy... i thought i was doing a bad job, then another female volunteer came over and took over me... she fed him with smaller portion and didn't make a mess... the uncle actually has quite good appetite, ate very fast... and mumbled some malay and english to us... when asked whether the food is 'sedap' - tasty in malay, he raised his thumbs up... :) then he kept saying 'carry on, carry on'... i did a few actions, and i realised he actually wanted me to feed him... haha so surprised, think he prefers big 'mouth' of food... when i fed him again, he smiled to me... said "you good"... wah... so 'over the moon' lah... then i tried to chat with him, he didn't response much... but knew he was a mechanic in the garden last time, was malaysian and has 3 sons... i asked his age, he couldn't remember liao... he is really a nice old man, when he sneezed out bee hoon on me, while i was feeding, he was apologetic... haha...

dear having bad flu, nose red red... and had moody voice... wanted to meet her and order her special birthday cake, but in the end, decided to go straight to mum's stall... asked her to go home rest, but she wanted to accompany... [thanks dear!] Joseph gave me a ride to Bedok MRT then we picked up dear and to mum's stall.... damn crowded today, alot of angry faces too... i knew what was going on immediately, the kitchen confirmed cocked up one... don't know how they prepare the food also.... mum ask me to let them settle their stuffs themselves, so i keep quiet... but the customers flared at us who were serving outside lor... just smile and smiled, apologise and apologised to customers lor... then suddenly 9+ no people liao... the crowd there damn early one, and they come at same timing, overcrowd causing our demand far higher than our supply for that 2 hours... confirm bad impression liao... what to do? its not the first time... not the last time... when dear suddenly say wanna eat mcdonald & fries... i shocked~ and warned her that she's sick... then she smiled to me... *pengz* by the way she was wearing little miss naughty t-shirt... so daddy brought the naughty girl to eat at mac, but no fried items except some fries to kill her crave... kekez...

planning to watch jay's "secret" tomorrow with dear.... i'm so looking forward to it...!

haha i anyhow talk at least some things written... mind still got a lot of nonsense but... never mind... i'm satisfied for being able to write... haha i am a rubbish bin... shhhhhhhhhh.....

Randoms

2007-08-04T11:26:00.000+08:00

Here I am again

Explosion!
My cpu 'exploded 2 weeks ago... asked my friend who told me that he does part-time computer repair... he said he was having exams so i waited... then when i called him after his exams, which was when i'm really urgent, he couldn't meet my demand for a speedy repair [cos i needed an impt document in my computer]... so in the end, i asked my downstairs neighbour to help... quite sian abt it cos i at first i thought of helping a friend by 'patronising' him... and let him deal with exams first... then when i really need my computer urgently, i couldn't get his support.... i made 1 big round, in the end i went to my neighbour...

Wang Lai Seafood
My mum had just shifted her stall to Bedok. She said that her previous stall's business reach stagnant stage liao, the coffeeshop owner not supportive of improving the environment, a lot of people say the coffeeshop dirty, and many other reasons, my mum decided to move and seek a new start. Its a even further place and she has to work longer hours... actually i could have let her enjoy retirement, but i'm still nowhere near anything yet... If convenient, go support her ok? i went to help yesterday [the opening], business is still slow there.... the address is Blk 123, Bedok North Street 2, 123 Koffee Corner[kopitiam with red chairs]

We sell tse cha[economical seafood], there are some self creations by my mum, and the fishes, prawns, vegatables & other supplies are definitely fresh, cos my mum purchase them herself at markets - if you know her well, she is very fussy abt freshness[a true capricorn's perfectionist]. With over a decade of experience, i'm sure you won't waste your trip. I personally feel that the food is of acceptable standards generally, some dishes may not be as nice, but there are definitely some that will suit your taste buds. I like our cereal prawns, lady's pork rib meat[mum's creation], ze jiang pork rib meat[my mum's creation], and mango chicken[an appetising dish]...

Bad Dream
don't know why, out of a sudden, i dreamt of my father, stepmother, mummy, stepfather... it was another family conflict in different setting... i was shouting at my father... couldn't remember much abt the dream... but i just don't know why i suddenly dreamt of it... maybe in my sub-consious, i'm still affected ba... actually, its really so long ago... i also don't know... don't want to think... i hate my father who actually tell me, promises are meant to be broken... frankly i don't like both lah... cos none gave me the kind of things i needed when i was young... now i have difficulty being close to anyone... its 'unnatural' to me liao...

Old days Missed
I missed those irc and icq days... i kept quite a lot of old conversations that i saved long ago... looking at what we chatted, reminds me of those days.... last time mostly chatted with scouts and guides from other schools... then got to know alot of them... now some still in contact... we had gatherings and we went many schools' campfire, and got to know more people... those days were fun and safe. at least there were many clean channels, unlike now, only left with those dirty ones.... the fun abt chatting those days, was from mass talking, suan-ing each other, talking cok, gossiping... haha...

d/loaded mirc and went to some channels that i remember... none got people... only left those general ones... how i wish i could turn back time....

Singing + T&J + Frustration

2007-07-19T10:52:00.000+08:00

Singing Combo
It was singing season recently... and singing with different people also.... cos kakis can't unite until glynis returns from cambodia... went singing with ml, jacky, isabelle, yanping and kelvin during weekend and with jacky, calvina, evelyn and isabelle on another day...

the second one was quite 1 of a kind session... jacky out of a sudden called me, said he is going to sing with evelyn, and glynis sis[this is funny, nvr thought of going out with calvina], asked me to go stir up the atmosphere.... haha... and i really went to make a clown out of myself... jacky last minute asked isabelle to listen to his concert, so she was there too.... haha $26 + cab fare, the ticket to jacky's concert was quite a price to pay sia...isabelle willing to pay... so either jacky's voice really make isabelle a fan of his, or....... :p

Anyway, i was totally mesmerised by Calvina's singing.... i looked at her expressions when she was singing [i know its rude haha...], you see how deep she is into the song... i like singers who can really tell a story out of a song... her vocal range quite wide and her enunciation was perfect, super clear.... okok talk too much no use... u've got to listen to it... download the singing below, and if got problem with downloading bandwidth, please download it another time, cos got limit per hour......

click to d/l...
Jia Zhuang - Calvina [die die must listen]

Ren Zhi - Jacky [another Jacky's attempt on a-mei's song]

Bu Neng Suo De Mi Mi - Me & Jacky [1st attempt, i zao sia badly during last part.... LOL]

Superman - Jacky & Me [this is a funny one...]

Shan Hu Hai - Calvina & Jacky [深情演唱......]

Gu Ji Gu Ji - Calvina & Evelyn [cute one...Evelyn was mumbling... haha...]

Hurt So Bad - Me [finally ktv got this song]

Tom & Jerry
The other day, Joan asked me to watch tom & jerry on youtube... then i actually found episodes which i once had in video tapes... haha... these 2 were one of the tom & jerry videos i had... hahaha... enjoy...

Tom & Jerry: At the Bowling Alley

Tom & Jerry: Heavenly Puss

Frustration
'C' opens brother's door [without knocking], grab the modem from computer and walks out of the room without closing back the door.... tell me 1 characteristic of C.....

I say SELFISH!

'C' after NS, found a job in a bank, but within 2 weeks, mc 3 days. Later quited job, saying that he wants to help at mum's stall. 1st week full attendance, 2nd week 5 days, 3rd week now... how many days? So far haven worked yet... And all day, he hogs the internet.... 24hrs! Brother keeps quiet, day after day.... he never 'automatic' at all....

Lazy! Selfish!

Anyway, i'm the brother... i had to sleep early and 'steal' the modem from his room, after he sleeps at 6am.... I really don't know what he is thinking... Cedric, please do something for your future... don't talk talk talk only.... talk is easy~ I'm not going to talk, cos sure quarrel one... you settle yourself...

I really have commitments like swami, and the css blog, so i need to use... please understand that those i'm working with won't know i have problem using internet, they will only think i didn't do my work....

update

2007-07-10T19:36:00.000+08:00

Update

Just went for medical appointment in the morning with mummy... doctor said the pain i experiencing is part of the process; now that my knee's mechanism has changed, and i'm using my leg differently from previous, pressure point becomes different. Furthermore, my quads muscle is still small, hence it takes at least a year to resume back to normal. I'm given another 6 weeks' extension of medical leave.

After doctor appointment, went for physio, my physiotherapist given me 1 new exercise, holding medicine ball, raise up and forward, while standing on 1 leg... damn shag~ haha... then during a conversation with her, she asked about my previous schools, and we actually were from the same institute and secondary school! hahaha so so so 巧, she is my super senior~ haha...

Changed the blog picture & song, adjusted the font size and etc... just some minor minor changes... when valentia sent me some english songs, i was attracted by this song's feel... music and lyrics... i couldn't play it via 'imeem' cos of some permission clause, so i loading the song from another source, therefore can pause the song by the previous button, however u can still stop the song by pressing the "stop" - red cross icon on your explorer...

Saturday & Sunday

2007-07-02T04:41:00.000+08:00

Saturday & Sunday...

saturday early early morning went to watch 'transformers' with cedric... haha... this is super weird and unusual... nvr really watched a movie together since teenage, somemore is mid-nite, we purposely took cab down, shared a popcorn and drink, completely the movie without quarrel~! its a record man~! though i disagree with some things he said, but i just keep quiet, tried not to say much... and it was peaceful~ 'transformers' is DAMN! nice~ a MUST-WATCH movie! the bots were so nice la... those cars too~ i love the romance scenes, cos they were funny and nicely designed and acted... the 'baby come back~.... ' scene, the seat-beat scene... haha... then those comical scenes, hahaha... funny lah... those who have not watched it, better schedule time for it! haha... after the movie at abt 5:15am, me and cedric walked to mcdonalds' for early breakfast, cos wanted to wait midnite charge to end... and we took a cab home.... i slept at 7:30am, and had to wake up at 12noon to make reservation for kbox... cos 2pm was meeting some 'neighbours'

actually don't know them at all, but managed to organise the kbox outing thru wholivesnearyou... i was there first... no one was there... i was like 'shit, kena fly aeroplane'... but i just waited and see... then saw 2 - yanting & caine came... haha at least got 3 of us, can sing liao... actually alone i'll also sing, did it once and was years back... kekez... damn boring... back to outing, then 1 other guy came, Daniel... then abt an hour later, our room door was opened by the waiter, and he seem to be guiding someone into our room... haha then i was thinking who could it be.... after 5 secs, junbin and ken appeared~! was so happy... now we have 6 liao... we persuaded junbin to ask henry and caining too, and he succeeded... another hour later, both came.... it was 8 of us in a small room... then i requested to be shifted to a bigger room and our 'party' started... everyone were quite supportive... similar, like other ktv sessions, i was trying my best to increase everyone's energy level... with all my crappy nonsenses... i warned myself not to be too 'over' at first, cos first time meet... but they were quite okay with me, so i crapped at my normal rate... kekez was fun singing with the guys... their singing really not bad one...there were 'li jiu ze', 'li sheng jie', english oldies expert, 'zhuo wen xuan', 'yanzi'... kekez... bt panjang also got good voices~

after singing, went to play pool... junbin simply thrashed us... some games i only had 2 chances to hit ball.... i ended up losing big, average of 4 balls left every round... super demoralising when playing with him... haha... in the end me and ken 'punched' for the pool session...

after pool we went to buy yami yogurt, caining wanted to redempt her free ice-cream... end up everyone bought ice-cream, and caining ate jumbo size alone! she is a big fan for yami... then we went over to 163 for dinner.... we ordered some tse zha and bbq food, table was full of food~ after dinner, chit chated for 2-3 hrs, then our outing ended... super tired...

today, ml woke me up with a call, she bought mcdonald breakfast... i was still very tired... so went back to bed to 'lazy' for awhile, and she did everything to wake me up again~! during breakfast time, she was praising bp's mac service good, this and that... then suddenly she realised her hotcakes got not honey and margarine! haha... she changed her 'testimonial' abt it... LOL...i got her my orange skin with honey and butter to be substitutes, but the taste wasn't nice... then she tried to use salt and pepper... haha... my crazy girlfriend~

after breakfast, she went tuition, i went to help up at henderson cc for the event again... foo was on a fiery mood, shouted at us, which was a rare sight... me and alan chen were in-charge to coordinate the loading and unloading of elderly... damn problematic at first, cos bus drivers didn't co-operate with us... see us young, can to 'eat'... but soon it was under control... only that those in the hall were complaining that we released the elderly too fast... haha... slow right, fast also wrong... during the process of rushing donw stairs with my lousy leg, i tripped, skipped 4 - 5 steps of stairs[with the gd leg of cos!] and nearly fell...heart nearly jumped out~ damn clumsy these days with the lousy leg... after settling the elderly, i went to hall and became camera man cum cheerleader cum food server... then went downstairs to settle the moving out procedures again.... but this time it was much better controlled...

after henderson, went to mad club outing with ml... as usual, the blur queen late, so waited for awhile before going to meeting the guys at a jap restaurant at citilink, don't know what ninja one... haha but nothing to do with ninja in the restaurant... kekez... we were given a cosy 'almost enclosed' corner... so private and cool.... food also not bad.... eat, talked cock, then waited for the super latecomers~ after dinner we went to watch 'transformers' at marina.... yes, i watched again! haha...

thats all~ 9 more days to next medical appt and end of this mc...~

Jay's Secret

2007-06-28T03:53:00.000+08:00

Jay's Secret At this hour... the emo me accidentally found Jay's new single... Maybe some people already know... but i didn't know ok? His new movie '不能说的秘密' is releasing at abt end August, the title is also the theme song's title...

Here's the Movie's Trailer and MTV Preview~ Enjoy~

Movie Trailer [looks so nice, so emo... i so so so wanna watch]

MTV Preview

Rubbish

2007-06-28T03:09:00.000+08:00

I'm sad.... really sad... sings: I wanna cry...i wanna fly....

alright never mind... people will say i whinning too much... say i'm fake....

hahaha... I joking lah... :) I'm happy...! :P

Collin Chan is a clown~ happy clown...~

I wanna sing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To The Most Familiar Stranger

2007-06-28T02:15:00.000+08:00

To the Most Familiar Stranger...

This is especially to you, yes... you~ I know you're still reading...

You said i'm insensitive, incorrigible, immature, shallow, typical...
You said you saw me a few times, and didn't look/behaved like the guy you knew...
You said i think highly abt myself.... and talk bad abt others...
You said a lot of other things...

I read once, read twice, read thrice...

its okay for you to have said all these...

i'm fine...

Thanks for the last stab in my heart...

Guess people like matty, glynis, jacky, and ml knows i am a crazy crappy guy on the surface... think no one will be as monkey as i am outside... but they know who's the collin below the surface... I don't need to explain things that you saw... thats me you saw... wonder if its really me... nvm its probably me... you recognise me better than i can recognise you.... oh ya, i don't think i ever will recognise you....

I don't need your friends who don't know me to judge me.... don't need you whom i never met after 7 yrs to say those words.... don't need to see those stabbing emails you sent.... those words were like throwing all the efforts i put in these years, and stepped them over and over again....

sometimes i say i'm angry abt you... i'm sad abt what happened... i suspect u cheated on me... but have i ever confronted you? have i ever say words to hurt you like you did to me....? I even told myself, even if you lied to me, i'm okay... as long as you meet me and stop lying... i can let it be history.. i dun even need to know why you do it or what... but i think no one will believe.... becos no one believe i could fall in love with someone i never met...

you blame me for moving on... if i didn't moved on 4 yr ago... you said you will tell me everything, things will not be the same... seriously... if it was going to happen, it won't take 3 yrs after i know you, to tell me or even meet me... 2003 when i changed my hp number, i've made my mind clear, i want to move on... you tried to find me, even sms my mum and gave me reasons, i was touched... i thought it was the turning point... but later things were still the same.... i was really hoping for something again.... but... when i was in drama, my instructor wanted us to share our stories... i shared abt you and i.... i nvr say anything bad... but my friends scolded me... they shed tears... i shed tears too... i acted our story during a practice... they cried again...

since you chose not to know me in person, but to 'know' me from what you see from the few coincident occasions... i respect your choice... i won't stop you from telling people how bad am i...... i feel hurt, but its ok...

becos after all, you just like those strangers out there who don't know me.... thats sad, cos all those heart to heart talk with you, like drain water now... i opened up the real self to you...but you chose to hide and chose to believe i'm not like the guy i've opened up to you...

i really don't know what else to say...

think whatever you like...
i'll not find out anything from anyone, cos i realised what i wanted wasn't any truth...
i only wanted to meet you... wanted to hear from you... same as what i wanted before...

take care, most familiar stranger....

Matty's Bday Celebration

2007-06-26T15:50:00.000+08:00

Matty Bday Celebration

Saturday night went to Matty's bday... K-union was big~! I felt lost in it... kekez... I was everywhere...~

Me and Jacky reached first, and waited outside... then matty's parents came, they spoke to the manager then we went in together to rearrange the furniture, test system, and waited for the balloons... I was reluctant to sing, cos my voice not recover from the sore throat and cough yet... But Jacky managed to persuade me sing... we sang a few songs to warm up... but i sucked~ kekez... couldn't control my voice and i sounded unstable...

Then i was disturbing people, asking them to sing... they must think i siao... i talked to them as if i know them... haha... First was Matty's cousins and sister.... then i started disturbing her friends... especially, huili, charine[agar agar spell], yy, and wy-English... they are matty's varsity frens... quietly sat 1 corner, didn't sing at all... i was trying all my best to make them to sing... kekez... charine and huili like xiao zhu too, so my bai fen bai crap, they understood and responded... :) they were like my supporters, waited for me to sing 精舞门... kekez.. haha i got supporters sia - i think too much...~ :p

cherie, peiyun, huihua, and jasper were there too... we were playing with balloons, playing pool, took photos and crapped together at one table... cherie's bright yellow with black dress, was striking~ i teased her that it looked like double yellow lines on road... kekez... actually think it nice, suits her... huihua was serving us, pouring drinks for us, then i joked that if kbox staff got so pretty 就好, just before i finished my words, she over poured the drinks... kekez...

then matty's sec sch frens quite cool.... got 1 botak[skin head], sang some oldies and Andy Lau's songs... quite cool~ got the bassy voice... and got 2 girls i have to mention, Amy & Yiling... I was so impressed by them... They are one of the better voices i heard so far... sing fast songs got the punch and clarity, sing slow songs got the emo feel~

Jacky picked 一直 for me to sing, then they 'pushed' [didn't really pushed] me to stage to sing..kekez... i zao sia again at the 理由 part... LOL... Then i made Jacky sang 搁浅 on stage...
Then around 12+am, people started to leave.... and the mood quite low there liao... so i sang some high songs to lift the spirits... kekez... jumped here and there... walked table to table... Glynis and Matty was like trying to control my siaoness, and asked me 'eat medicine' for several times.... I forced matty to sing on stage with jacky... then she was so afraid of the stage... glynis 'warned' me again kekez...haha think glynis was my mummy, and i was the small boy that nite... kekez... Glynis was 'high' on helium for quite awhile, inhaled don't know how many balloons of helium.. LOL... when she talked after inhaling the helium, her voice became very cute... kekez... then she was laughing her trademark laugh in that cute voice, so funny~

at 2+am, almost everyone gone liao, left the some guys, and four of us[singing 4].... nothing much to do liao.... we continued singing songs and ate the leftover buffet for supper... at abt 3am, the staffs asked if we want to go a smaller room, cause they have to clean up the place... then we moved to a smaller room, but still got pool table, and it looks very modern and cool~ stayed there for awhile and 4 of us left, leaving the guys to sing their boyband songs... we accompanied matty to mandarin hotel take her stuffs... Glynis and matty went upstairs... the security guard's attitude was bad! think youngster can't afford to stay at the hotel, or think the hotel only welcome foreigners.... Glynis re-appeared alone in the lift, cos matty was asked by relatives to stay, but she forgot her ballons still with jacky.... Glynis could reach her by phone and we have no access to the lift, so we released the balloons on matty's behalf, then we shared cab home...

It was fun 'performing' infront of people... kekez... quite lost when i singing, don't know where to stand cos of the number of groups.... don't know how to describe... anyway, i enjoyed... :) kekez...

Glynis talks with 'Helium effect'

Mathilda singing~

Jacky and Mathilda: I still Believe... again~

Happy SMS...

2007-06-23T04:28:00.000+08:00

Happy SMS...

I was rushing 1 of matty's present last nite... from 2am - 8am... then was surpposed to go henderson cc at 5pm... in the end i woke up at 5pm... i was stunned~! then quickly wash up and rushed out... on the way out, jacky called regarding the balloons... then i stunned again... forgot to call~... then quickly ordered the balloons for matty then continue my rush down to henderson...

when i reached there, immediately after i alighted, i got to helped 1 aunite on wheelchair up the lift to the hall to her seat... kekez... let those who know i late, know i start work liao... kekez... i never ask what to do one... always find things to do then they won't know i late... kekez... as long as i do things the natural way... people won't know when i arrived... LOL....

there were 400 over uncle, aunite, ah gong, ah ma and children there... they were there to receive 'ang baos' from some businessman doners... this is the 2nd time this year, still got 2 more times.... these doners are very wealthy but good people... 1 ang bao = a low 3 digits sum leh... not a few dollars... u do the maths.... they contribute money, we volunteers contribute sweat... everytime do volunteer work, the smiles, the 'thank you's, make me feel happy... was quite tired, and my leg was giving me problems, but its worth it...

ml was there with me too... thought she so clever, suddenly know how to find her way there, yuan lai she took a cab there from tiong bahru... kekez... after the event, wanted to watch movie at tiong bahru plaza one but bad timing so we decided to take long bus rides home... on the way home, received tien hwee's sms.... wah i was so happy lah... cos she asked me to help her do something... something i like! haha... happy she give me such opportunty.... kekez can't reveal much now.... but its a small thing lah... just that i'm happy cos its a good opportunity for me... if i can do it, then there might be a lot of maybes after that.... i was so excited so so excited.... haha... ok little hint... its about singing... kekez... :)

ok talk abt singing, my sore throat and cough still 'blocking' my voice... later, matty's bday party @ k-union, don't know i can sing or not... haha if can't, i will feel damn wasted one.... the place will be her's from 6pm-6am... her dad so good to her lor... the expenses for the venue and drinks its 4 digits sum lor... my 21st bday was at my mum's tse zha stall lor... hahahaha....

i've drawing using adbe these few days, wanted to design a background or banner for here[blog]... i ended up drawing some 4-yr art pieces... ml said if i still a kid, i will get 'A'[... but now i adult liao... :( LOL... then joan said it suits me, said its cute, then she oso sort of caught the meaning of the drawing... kekez... i'll see how... maybe i'll change to the drawing... maybe i'll not... we shall see~

Energy's New Member

2007-06-20T23:13:00.000+08:00

ENERGY'S NEW MEMBER!

Energy recently recruited a new member, his name is Tang Zhen Gang, 唐振刚 aka 小刚. Based on what I've found, he has been acting in some Taiwanese dramas and movies, other than acting he dances too - was Milk's student once, and coached K'one dancing before.

Hope good things will follow, after this new addition... All the best Energy!

The 'New' Energy

Water Talk

2007-06-19T01:24:00.000+08:00

Random Hydrology

Having a bad throat now... every cough feels like i'm coughing my throat out... my throat damn pain... scared cannot recover by itself before Matty's birthday celebration this saturday, so quickly went to see doctor to get some cough syrup and lozenges. haha hope i can recover by Friday! then singing on Saturday won't be a problem~!

By the way, Mathilda! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Its Mat Cow Day! K-union will ROCK this saturday!

Past 2 weeks have been sad and happy... the sad events made me real sad and helpless, but luckily i had a bunch of funny people who accompanied me, though they don't know what happened to me... frankly, i rather they don't know, then they won't ask, and i can behave like one siao person...

I went out with Angelia to have dinner, talked to her abit aboout what happened, then later that night, went singing with long time no see Tienkang and Ida. It was abit difficult to blend into their click that night, but still had some fun. Then went out 2-3 times with Joan, Ying, Shu Juan and Shu Zhen, to play pool, to eat mac, to kbox and did some funny nonsenses together. They may be young but they are very easy to get along and confortable to be with... i think of what crappy idea, they will also follow and do... won't say no good or anything... and they responded to my crappy jokes.... sometimes i'm the one behaving more like a small boy... kekez... those who know me, will know my naughty, playful, and crappy nonsenses. Yoz... thanks for the times~ Matty called me to go out, and i knew she wanted to talk to me regarding my problem, but i rejected... Sorry, but i know i'll be fine, didn't want to talk abt it that moment... thanks anyway~

During the past weeks, i also started going back to SWAMI... being able to put a smile on the elderly makes me feel happy~ some elderly & nurses whom i never talked to actually asked abt my injury, they know... :) I also started to learn guitar from a volunteer guitar club.... my hands abit retarded... haha... hope i can play some songs for people soon~

Dear and me are better now. Glad that she is able to give in this time, and take it as it is... Actually, i never expect things to go that way, but luckily its back on track... :)

Oh ya, I'm not using crutches liao... i forced myself to dumped it aside, cos i really missed taking buses! Limping is shag, i'm still enduring the difficulties i face, but i'll be fine... Some people, said i'm limping like Tie-tou in 'Yuan Dian'... People stop looking at me when i walk! kekez.. As long it doesn't kill me, it will make me stronger~

Hmm this coming Friday & Sunday, my volunteer group is giving Ang-pao to senior citizens in living in 1 or 2 rental flats....We are serving them buffet and putting up some performances, if you're free can join me....we need manpower to control and guide those elderly, as the places are abit inconvenient and we are talking abt 400 elderly..... 22/06, Friday, 5pm Henderson CC and 24/06, Sunday, 1pm Outram Secondary School.

Don't forget to visit my CSS blog @ http://talkabtcss2.blogspot.com

Something about words...

2007-06-12T04:01:00.000+08:00

Something about words...

Words... can words accurately express emotions?

"I am happy...really really happy..."

Do you think i'm really happy?

Are you using your mind to think whether i'm really happy or not?
Or you simply think i'm happy if i say i'm happy?

Nowadays, people become more and more complicated, you probably think more than you should. But its not wrong, because of human nature, especially towards people you don't know well, people who hurted/harmed you before, people you have not met before...etc. Its difinitely not wrong to have a second thought.

I don't trust words easily anymore. Words itself cannot be compared with Words spoken tone; Words with spoken tone cannot be compared with words with spoken tone and body gesture; Words with spoken tone and body gesture cannot be compared with words with spoken tone, body gesture and eye contact. The more the merrier~ Because if a person is lying, it makes that person more expose to making mistakes and loopholes. Sometimes it also involve sincerity, if a person really wants to express emotions correctly, he/she will choose to speak face to face, eye to eye.... because it will let the person feel safest [at least i think so...]

just another weird hydrology i thought of....

by the way, remember to support my CSS blog @ http://talkabtcss2.blogspot.com

I've tried my best....

2007-06-06T13:35:00.000+08:00

I've tried my best to let you understand...

I've tried... but you still don't believe it won't affect us... i know myself that its really a separate issue... why can't you understand even having experienced the happiness we shared... if i'm really affected by that incident... i won't had been able to give you my best for these 4 yrs.... please do not just say we won't be happy becos i can't forget... cos we did had our happiness.... didn't we? I told you everything, thinking you'll understand why i wanna know the truth... I even proudly said you'll understand de....but i'm wrong...

I'm so so so sad.... becos i'm not getting any faith, understanding from someone i love.... and on the other hand accidentally finding out a cold cold cold 'truth' of the 7 yrs mystery of my life... do you know how big this blow is to me.... i explain and explained so many times.... you only kept asking me to "go find out everything you want" "so that you won't be unhappy inside" "if i don't get satisfied by an answer, i'll nvr be happy" "if i don't forget, i'll never be happy"

Wanting to know something won't affect our love! Having memories doesn't mean i'll be unhappy for life! Remembering is easier than forgetting in terms of things in our long term memory... i'm not talking abt small small things we put in short term memory that has tendency of forgetting...Relationship isn't small small things.... In my memory doesn't mean i'll keep reminding myself abt it! Our mind is a write paper, memories are written in PERMANENT ink! there's no liquid paper that you can use to cover....

Not getting your understanding is the worst feeling in this episode... i won't promise things that i can't do.... its impossible to forget until a blank piece of paper... do you understand? if i can't promise i forget, then u don't think we gonna be together? why why why things are like this.... i'm sad... if you really think you can't accept me... if you really think i can't bring your happiness... if you really think our future is uncertain... even if you love me... the decision is clear right? like i always say... you have the full sovereignty to choose and decide... i'll respect your decision... My stand is i am not a computer, delete = forget permanently.... I love you and want to continue our relationship... the decision is yours....

Good People Wicked People Selfish People

2007-05-30T02:06:00.000+08:00

Good People Wicked People Selfish People

Went checkup for my knee in the morning... Doctor gave me an extension of the MC, based on the degree of ability, and rate of recovery... My right thigh still look smaller than my left one... Right hamstring still tight, restricting my flexibity, bending+extension of my right leg...

Doctor was quite unhappy with my progress - could see from his expression... like he mentioned, the surgery is only 50% of the corrective help to my condition, another 50% goes to strenghtening and conditioning thru' physiotheraphy....

Sad news is this good consultant doctor, Dr David Paul Bell is leaving for Germany... My case will be handled over to another doctor, whom i will be seeing in 6 weeks time... Dr Bell is professional and understanding... He is so genuine that you will feel his sincerity instantly.... Without him taking over my case from my private doctor, Dr Chan Beng Kuen - also another superb doctor, i wouldn't have been able to received accurate and professional medical attention on my knee problem in govt hospital....

After knowing my MC being extended, its kind of a mixed feeling... definitely i was happy, because i really don't think i can resume work or even to travel the long distance to-n-fro, and i'm given more time to improve.... no need to stress about meeting the deadline... I was actually prepared to return to work, went to cut my hair etc... The other side of me is feeling lousy, cos tongues in camp will wag again and i'm going to be trapped at home for another 6 weeks...

I made a call back to camp informing them about my medical status... however, i received cold shoulder and warning that they might spot check me... also insisted me to go back camp endorse my mc - which is not really necessary...

The other time when i went back, some wicked spirit already said things like "only open 2 holes right?" "aiya your case nothing one la"... at medical ctr still have to tolerate those rude and lazy medics who asked and said things like "wah... how you injured one... teach me leh" "wah... 1 month mc i also want" My mum was with me... she was so so so angry and think they are simply irritating people... finally who got to know how her son is feeling when in camp dealing with those fuckers...

I don't see how enjoyable MC can be when i subjected to spot checks and military charges... anyway i'm not afraid, cos i stay at home all the time.... I guess going out to neighbourhood to eat, going for physio and going out on occasional weekends to social with friendly, aren't overboard or an offence rite?

Staying at home, especially only in my room, really making me autustic... i've been feeling bad-temper, frustration and anxiety.... i keep thinking of things.... alot of things.... of what people said to bullshit me, ofmy future, on of my injury, on what will happen when i go back camp, of people of many many things.... Even though i keeping myself busy at home doing my mum menu, maintaining website, writing songs, reading, chatting, tv, game... these just can't divert my thoughts of how people will be thinking about my absence... i'm telling you that those people in camp are that scary.... i just feel insecure about those people....

And then other than the camp people, there is another group of people whom always bother me with questions or asking me to go out unnecessarily... they just don't know what kind of situation i'm in... they only want to meet their objectives... and i going to say that its those religious youngster, who thinks too positively about the world.... please... don't keep asking me out... i see no purpose and meaning... and i seriously not religous... i say again.. "You control your life, religous is a teaching that straighten your thinking, a corrective action, which helps you in dealing with things... I believe it is ultimately within our control and our choice. You are the one who accepted your god in the first place, isn't it your choice?" I'm not against religous, i think it is a good thing for people... but i'm against people who only think of accomplishing self-goal, ignoring relationship and do not know the truth of reality.... If you want to ask me there, don't force... i will go one... really, otherwise you wouldn't have known me there at the holy place...

Haiz... life is full of probabilities... don't think cannot... think think think end up think too much.... teach me how to gauge please...

Liu Geng Hong's 2nd Album

2007-05-28T01:47:00.000+08:00

Liu Geng Hong's 2nd Album
"City of Angels"
"天使之城-迦南美地"

Mr Muscle, 刘耕宏 -Will Liu, just released his 2nd Album, "City Of Angels"...
He released his 1st Album last year and had quite a few memorable songs e.g 彩虹天堂, 心灵交战, 情画. With the appearance and campaign support by Jay , alot of Jay fans also supported him... However, some hard-core fans of Jay, doubted 刘耕宏's ability to compose those nice songs....

This time round, his 2nd album Jay didn't involved in the making, 刘耕宏 composed almost all of the songs in this album... After listening some of the songs online, i was quite disappointed, cos i missed those 'dark-feel' songs in the previous album... hmm this time round, his love songs are 'brighter', and tempo of songs are lighter too... other than this change in mood, i felt this album has some christianity-influenced which i'm wondering if it should be in a pop-music setup... in some songs there were mentions of places named in bible, including a god praising song.

Overall, i feel the songs reflects his efforts of establishing his music.. Shown more of his style rather than a replica of Jay's music... I think you will accept it better after a few play of the CD... These are some songs that you might want to preview before buying... His 1st campaigning song, 迦南美地 is one that left some impression, another love song is 什么是爱, which is playing now... simple and nice lyrics... next song is a song he wrote for his good friend, none other than Jay... the lyrics are provided below... you will find it quite 'funny'... but its a song with a strong statement to people who thinks he is just a shadow behind Jay, telling them not to support him because of Jay... He wants to make his name known for his efforts and ability...

"碎碎念"
我有一个朋友
他总是被监视一举一动
他已经习惯在闪躲
暗地里的跟踪让人心痛
快乐老总逃不了的空洞
音乐中才能够听到他失去的自由
我们交情很久我们认识已经很久
以前想要找到陶醉的心要找到我
我们情同手足但不代表我就是他
请不要再问我他交了几个女朋友
这问题到底谁该谁去烦恼
想知道那就麻烦各位自己去找
因为我们大家都只是好朋友别害我出卖朋友请你不要再来问我
我有我的音乐我的事情没有~
没什么障碍不能跨越我要~极限
彼此看我的身材象不象健身教练
听听着音乐进入意想的世界
不想再跟谁比帅我就是自成一派
不想耍不择手段 no no 不要耍赖
不想要活得无奈生命中要有挑战
不想要被现实带坏 no no不要乱盖
我永远不会放弃追求梦想证明自己
我相信坚持下去总有一天会有奇迹
其实到了现在我还是有点想念
那跟着我的后面有点腼腆[missing lyrics]
彼此见能跟陌生人说话不到两句的画面
不管世事如何的转变~
碎碎念hei 给你些建议
你要牢记别忘记谨记别忘记
别让名誉搞乱你的生命
别让生活变成一场游戏
你有你的目的要懂得感谢上帝
知道自己是多么幸运
现在你有许多的朋友
各形各色千百种
常有一堆人在跟着你走
就算事情再多也要常常思索
希望大家都是真心交你这个朋友
不论平伏起落都能长长久久
我的朋友~~~

Normal Life

2007-05-25T07:43:00.000+08:00

I Just Want My Life To Be Normal

Why can't my life be like the person next to me... have father, mother... , uses right hand, go primary sch [EM2], secondary sch [EXP], go Poly/JC....?

Really!!!.... throw a stone and it will hit people who go thru the 'normal' route....

I like to be normal...
then i don't need to think and worry so much....
i don't need to bang into walls 100000 times....
i don't need to be special, need special arrangement...
i don't need to go a big round wasting my youth....

You can say i'm still young...
uncle also can go back to study...
Fuck YOU! its different context!

ARgh! FUCK.... i just don't know what to say....
I'm simply mad at myself...
why i use left hand?
why i write so slow?
why i failed maths?
why i failed in so many things...?

Yaya... i failed becos i think i will fail... i think like failure..
ya, i don't have positive mindset....
FUCK those inspirational books...
WHO THE HELL WANT TO FAIL?

5 years later...
when i want to further study...
i'm faced with the some problem 5 yrs ago...
what have i done to improve my status and ability to fight reality?
I'd thought of giving reality a good fight by getting something out of JI/MI...
but in the end...
nothing... its still down to my O lvls, a certification without maths...

yaya... try this method try that method....
its like send me to court to listen to verdict....
i didn't do very lousy for O levels.... only that i failed maths...
i don't deserve the treatment....

I really didn't want to blog this procastinating entry... i was surposed to be listing courses that i'm interested to study, and hope to seek suggestions.... i really did plan to write that after some research.... but i don't know why i end up writing my nonsense again....

i'm sad... really sad... maybe...

I only wanted to have a more secured future...
I just wanted to be a professional 'something', rather than a jack of all trades...

P.S: don't comment anything... i don't want to see or know...

Insomnia Nonsense

2007-05-24T06:36:00.000+08:00

Insomnia Nonsense

I've tried to sleep early, i've tried to sleep late.... but i'm still waking up in the middle of the night, or early morning... body alarm.... its time for medication...

i'm feeling really down...
i'm very easily irritated
very hot tempered
very violent...
i'm feeling weak...
i'm feeling pale...

i want to be normal...
i want to go out and walk normally...
but i can't go out...
but i can't walk properly...
i don't want to go back to camp...
i think i deserve and needs a longer rest...
but no one will bother how i feel...
i'm a puppet controlled by life...

i don't want people to think i'm enjoying my mc...
and think its time for me to work again...
the fact is i didn't enjoy a single bit of this mc...
and please don't think that my surgery is just opening 2 holes...
its 2 holes,1 long cut and many many more....
fuck those bitches & bastards in camp who are so so evil to me...

i'm fucking mad...
fucking angry...
i've tried to put it aside...
but whenever provoked...
everything comes back and snow-ball as one big reaction...
its a tsunami tragic in my head...

don't try to talk me out of it...
i'm not interested in abit...
cos it only make me feel worse...
my only hope is that those who are in control of situation would give some leeway...
give me a breather...
and let me have control of my life...

i believe in no god...
cos other than law...
i'm in control of my life...
its all in our minds...

Same Old Nagging

2007-05-20T03:20:00.000+08:00

Same Old Nagging

I'm going to complain how inconvenient it is to be handicap... i'm lucky that i'm a temporary semi-handicap...<-- cool term :X anyway... i hate taking taxi everywhere.... neither do i like to take trains where the facilities are not totally handicap friendly [at least BP LRT to MRT isn't friendly], and the terrible mouths and eyes of Singaporeans... really only Singaporeans start their mouth engine or eyes rolling when they see me on train... its like i'm wearing my underwear outside.... common lah its just a knee brace and 1 pair of crutches... even when i attempt to hide the knee brace underneath my 'barely baggy enough' jeans... they still looked at me... kekez... on normal days i'll feel damn great.. haha... like celebrity... :p not true... joking only... anyway, some probably say...don't go out la... sometimes, going out is not something i want to do... look at the number of physio sessions and the location.... other than that... pls kindly consider that i'd stayed at home almost everyday... and that they give me back the weekends, if i don't spend them during MC... i know i should refrain from going out... and i am doing so, obeying rules... can come visit me, from mon to fri + sunday, opening hrs from 6am - 6am daily [excluding physio days]... haha... people pls do not think that getting MC is a happy thing... especially when i'm still serving... my house is no different from the cages in SPCA [can't say zoo or birdpark cos both no obvious cages]...

another thing abt my leg is that its still painful... like girl like that, the word is unpredictable... and look at my right thigh muscle... wah like old man's leg [soft, flabby and small], knee still swelling bigger than the left... i'm like an old man... a few flight of stairs can take my life away... and the thought of my MC is ending, my feelings contradicts~ cos i'm not going to work in current condition... haiz... sadly no one will understand~! argH!

My thigh and quads muscles' differences..

my normal left knee VS swelling right knee

Sing Sang Sung Sing Song....

2007-05-19T03:22:00.000+08:00

WELCOME TO MY HYDROLOGY!

haha... finally.... after so long... i've moved my moods from homepage to blogger... now its call Hydrology~ no need me to elaborate why liao ba... guess everyones clever enough to understand why... haha... hope you guys accept the changes i made...

hmmm... haha this week i sang to my content... went with Glyn, Mat, Jacky last sat... it was time for our monthly singing gathering... as usual we went all out to have fun... after singing... for the first time we had supper together at "Xin Wang"... while Q-in we saw Belinda Lee, Li Wei Lian [i don't know him but Glyn & Mat said he is also a celebrity] and their friend.... they were asking me if we were in Q... haha it was quite obvious lah...i replied, "yes and those people behind are also in Q..." then they still went to ask the waitresses.... aiyo~ i'm not a bully or liar leh.. i'm a honest boy! :X

anyway here are some videos, voice recordings and photos to share...

Jacky singing Gary's song again~

The MESS!

Yummy Contestant 1

Yummy Contestant 2

Yummy Contestant 3

Yummy Contestant 4

first up is Jacky singing "Ai Cuo"

Next is Mathilda & Jacky singing a duet, "I Still Believe"

Glynis~ singing "Ren Zhi"

Me & Jacky Singing "Bei Pan"

now is Mathilda's turn to win your ears~ with "Superwoman"

And lastly, Me singing "Can Fei"

hahaha... after listening to our amateur singing... its still time for more singing... now in the form of voice recordings... these are some of the better ones out of the 30 files we recorded... haha..

"Wo Ke Yi" (spoil liao lah version) - Me and Jacky: haha i spoilt my singing~

"Wo Hen Xiang Shuo" - Me and Mat: luckily she saved my singing

"Feng" - Mat & Glyn: wow wow~!

"High High High" - Glyn & Mat

"Zhuan Shu Tian Shi" - Me & Jacky

"Cai Hong Tian Tang" - Me & Jacky

"Wo Yao Kuai Le" - Jacky: wow~ challenged A-mei leh...

"Yi Zhi" - Me: another zao sia singing~

"Shan Hu Hai" - Mat & Jacky

alright... guess you had enough of our singing...
btw, try not to d/l all the songs at one time.. cos got limited bandwidth... if you have problems d/l can wait for a while then d/l or get the files from me... :p
hahaha.... thats all for my 1st Hydrology~

2 May 2007 [Previous Post]

2007-05-14T05:20:00.000+08:00

Mr Handicap
Its been 2 weeks after surgery, and life has been inconvenient... initially, i had to get my buddies [Boon Seng, Raymond, Kai Cheng] to help me off my bed to settle the 'releasing' problem.... i couldn't get off the hospital bed without help, and my bladder almost burst, after it reservoired many many hrs of 'water'... i'd done it on bed, with an urinal but i ended up falling a slp while waiting for 'it' to come... after that i totally couldn't do it... hence rendered my buddies' help.... luckily they were there at different timings keke... the urinal was abt 2/3 filled~ imagine that~ LOL...

Then came problems travelling... as i'm walking with crutches and my legs cannot bend totally... bus is ruled out... left with cab and mrt... which i'm using them as transport back to cgh for physio...don't ask me y not a nearer hospital, i'd answered it 10000 times.... anyway, the other day, i was quarrelling with my mum, as she insisted on sending me there... i know she's tired and it serves no purpose for her to be there, furthermore the long waiting hrs.... and i was telling her with confidence that i can make my way slowly to hospital, sure got people give me seats in train... don't worry.... haha... and i was totally wrong, after 2 trips on 4 mrt and 4 lrts... only a father carrying a baby in arms gave his seat to me.... i was really paiseh when he gave me his seat...during the most of the rest of my journey, i was standing with 1 and a half leg, leaning on the walls/doors of trains, until i find myself seats after no one is contesting for it..... i really thought it wouldn't be a problem to find seats... but i was sooooooooo wrong... disappointed~ another thing was that people looked at me like i'm an alien, a sinner, or whatever else.... point point,, stare stare, glance glance.... damn irritating... sianz...

Frankly, i think being a handicap in singapore is still to a large extent inconvenient and irritating....I really miss taking buses, cos taking bus is very much more faster than taking mrt for some places... esp. when most buses at bt panjang travels on expressways~....

Hmm... so far my leg still quite lousy.... i'm still waking up early by the pain when effects of painkillers wear-off... still using 2 crutches... my right leg is still weak, can't even lift whole leg up when sitting with 2 legs straight... yup, hence i wonder how am i able to meet the deadline - 20th may, MC's last day...wah lau... michael owen also need 11 months to return to soccer field, what is my 1 month? hmm, hopefully i can get an extension, otherwise it would be my worst nightmare cos like i said travelling is a problem i'm facing~ the average time taken to travel to work is 1.5hr - 2.0 hrs, now with disabilities, the timing will increase.... and morning i've only limited time for travelling as some services don't start so early~.... argh sianz....

my right leg with knee brace

my new 'accessories'

2 May 2007 [Previous Entry]

22 April 2007, 10:00 am [Previous Entry]

2007-05-14T05:17:00.000+08:00

First 2 Hospitalisation of my life
My first two hospitalisation stay of my life [excluding the very first one 23 yrs ago], were back to back winthin a week. I was surposed to go for surgery on 12th april, but my stomach protested in the early morning of 12th, cold sweat + severe pain, i was 'sleeping' in the toilet... tried to clear my bowel to ease the pain, but it didn't helped... damn worried...

However, i was determined to go for surgery that day, after all the plannings i've made... mum, uncle, and ml sent me to hospital... but i was refused from surgery... it was so so disappointing... hated myself, didn't know why so heng...

after a short rest at day surgery's ward, i went to A&E to deal with my stomach... doc gave several press on my abdominal, and i 'ouched' the most around the right side, so he suspected that i was having appendicitis, ordered me to be hospitalised for observation....and after 5 hrs of waiting for the bed, i finally landed on ward 36 bed 18...

During the stay, i was poked in the ass by 2 doctors, went for an x-ray, and a CT scan, found tiny stones in my kidney, tummy pressed by don't know how many doctors, and given the 'fleet' in my ass by a nurse to clear my bowel.... the conclusion is i wasn't having any appendicitis. they guesses it was gastric flu and digestive problem... i was then discharged on monday, 16th...

actually this stay wasn't so bad, because the nurses were very caring, and there is an auntie in-charge of f&b wo will give us treats of milo & roti, and occasionally better hospital meals... keke... she's very jovial and cute... if u happened to be staying in ward 36, looked out for mdm tan! kekez... she never fail to put a smile on the patients and familes' faces.... another reward of the stay is lottery prize, my buddy went to buy my number 3618, i shared half with him, and it was one of the winning numbers in starters on sunday... kekekz... my first stay in hospital, sure must buy... kekez....

On the 19th, i went to CGH again, now finally for my knee surgery... at first, at the ward of day surgery, it was packed with patients and relatives... then i was tranported to another corner.... to wait for surgery, the number of reduced, only saw nurses in surgery costumes, then i was pushed into another room, who there was no one.... wah... i felt like i was in a mortuary, damn eerie~ and finally into operation room the doctors prepare me for surgery... then into the operating threatre, i was given the anaesthetic... after that... i was gone... gone to darkness kingdom for 3-4 hrs.... when i regain slight conscious was on my way to ward, by the way i was admited back to the same ward! ward 36! kekez so coincidence haha.... head was spinning madly.... when i reached my bed, i felt asleep again.... then 1 hr later, i woke up and i saw ml walking into the room... her timing very nice.... like tv drama... kekez... then i vomited some greenish fluid.... right leg was in terrible pain... beneath the knee brace[something like the one stone cold wears] was an ice water bag, to compress and cool the swelling on my knee..... the water bag compressed my wound till damn pain.... couldn't sleep that night... at first was because i had trouble urinating - i don't know how to urine while laying on bed, damn stress, bladder was tight, but i just can't release it..... it was after i fell asleep for 1 1/2 hr after while trying to urine, that i was more relax and finally urined! it was already 4 am but soon after that, my knee's pain agravated.... the worst pain i've experienced... called for nurse, but she said that i can only received the next dose of painkiller injection at 6am... then there goes my other 2 hrs of sleep!!

In the morning i was like a zombie, dark rings were as dark as panda's.... i still couldn't move my right leg much, but my doctor was super optimistic, say i could discharge if i want to... then came my physiotherapist, who was also very ortimistic, wanted to get me walking, but i ended up having a black-out... that was when she decided to be less optimistic... kekekez... guess thay don't know the difference of me and other similar patients.... i was injured almost a yr ago, quads muscle shrinked more than others who got it treated earlier.... i was feeling bored most of the time.... can't wait to be discharged but seems like i still have difficulties walking with crutches... then another day past... i was feeling better,because there was less swelling.... then i passed my physio's walking test, and i was allowed to be discharged..... and finally home!

I would like to give special thanks to the people who came to visit, despite the distance away from west~... kekez, Top of the list is meilian, who came everyday from jurong west to simei to shower me love and care~ 2nd, boon seng, also came almost everyday to talk cock with me and bought me the winning lottery ticket...., 3rd, raymond who came quite frequently even during his duties, where he had to send people to cgh, he would drop by to buy me stuffs..... then my mummy and uncle who 'bargeed' into the ward in wee hours after their business... and also amanda, anthony, foo, and kaicheng... who visited me and bought me goodies.......and not forgeting those who gave me their well wishes thru' sms and phone calls..... jasmine, joseph, janet, jae, mathilda, qinhua and those whom i might have missed out... and lastly, i'm gonna MC till 20th may [short but hope for more kekez].... yeah~ kekez... still have to back CGH for physio ad other appointments,,, i wonder how.. later kena stuck at train doors.. LOL~

22 April 2007, 10:00 am [Previous Entry]

20 Feburary 2007, 2:30 am [Previous Entry]

2007-05-14T05:14:00.000+08:00

12 April 2007
Finally, after so many months, almost a year... i'm going for ligament reconstruction and menicus repair surgery...whenever the pain gets stronger or when i have difficulties with my leg... it just reminds me of all the crap i've been thru'... I'm really very unsatisfied with my condition and treatment from ppl.... i'm in pain... i'm worried that my left knee/leg will be affected... in fact it has been affected by my injury... having injuries on my right knee, caused extra burden to my left knee/leg.... i've been waiting n waiting... the longer they drag, the more i worry as my left knee is starting to give me problem too~i'm only compensated for the right knee... if my left knee also affected, i've to pay for my medical... which is again another unfair thing... i really feel like calling the hotline to pour all my sorrows, sorrows that not many people know... i hate it~!!!anyway, i'm scheduled for surgery on 12 April 07... thereafter, probably MC for a long time... hope i can recover well... hopefully i will wake up from anesthesia, and hope i'll recover well...

Its been 2 months...
For ppl who frequent this place... would had realised my disppearance... its been hectic and sad... i've been staying in for my rigger course... time to be online was limited... furthermore i have a connection hogger at home...

the course was really a morale lowering one... imagine being scolded and scolded by 4 women in command, in their mid 30s and 40s... and it was really one sided type... as if the other 2 trainees are fault-less... even the 2 trainees felt that it was unfair treatment to me... for a same mistake, if 2 of us did it... i'll be the one who gets much more scolding...

then on the other hand, i myself can't stop thinking of proving them wrong and instead over-tension, made things worst at times.... somemore i'm short temper, when i do wrong, i was already blaming myself, then the instructor kept scolding... my fire became stronger...

it life saving equipment, i don't understand what's the rush... they are always right... do fast also they say, do nicely also they say.... when i do fast they will say its ugly.... when i do slow for quality, they will say i'm slow... i myself also want to do it nicely, but they just don't give the chance to prove.... kept making noise, or fuss abt my actions, or technique.... pack until i also don't what to do... i really don't know what they want.... worse still is that they have different standards... [A] teach u her method.... when [B] coaching, if i do [A] style, [B] will say i shouldn't do that way... and ask who teach you one... what should i say....? say [A] teach one, later [A] will say where got teach, don't frame her... damn sian...

i'm a perfectionist, but my hands are not good at doing fast and tecnical stuffs... sometimes its really very sianz... and demoralising... then they say i alway black face... i'm just trying to be serious... then when i tried to smile when they scold me... they say, smile smile smile, i never see they hot before rite... life is fucked up~

i really hate it when one of them doubted my injury... say my condition not very bad ma... then when i say abt service injury, she said that it was my fault, shouldn't be compensated... i wonder did i have a choice whether to jump off the plane or not? NO! Then she compares my service injury with her wrist and fingers injuries they inccur from packing...~ what the fuck?! how can compare that with parachute jump?

national service is meaningful but the people serving the nation are mostly fucked up people~ no wonder mindef change employment contract schemes... but still alot of fucked-up ppl still got thru`....

good luck to me for the rest of my remaining service liability....btw, i finally get my service injury report, it took 5 months to process....look how efficient our protecting force is? One fine day, i'll consolidate my experience in army and give them some suggestions... maybe also let the nation know the truth~ although it might affect people's confidence towards NS, but if its truely happening, then the organisation should really accept and make things better...

B-day 23
it was a good surprise prepared by miss chua~ even my mum was roped in to trick me... i'm happy to see ppl celebrating my day with me...frankly, i don't need celebration... cos those years when i wanted to celebrate... i never got to celebrate.... i'm refering to my much earlier birthdays... most of the time, i spent my birthdays alone... normally gave myself good treat at restaurants....thats when i was in sec sch... when i was even younger, its either with dad or mum... never together since 3 yr old... i only remember having cakes at certain yrs... but normally didn't have... i remember, the nite before b-days, i always made silly wishes and couldnt slp well at nite...

i'm happy to see old faces, people who have been celebrating with me for 3 yrs... i know these are good sincere frens.... organising these celebrations is like a test of my relationship with people... i don't like to be 'slap' with truth- i don't have much frens or, not welcomed by ppl.... so i rather not celebrate... aiya, sometimes its really obvious that some people already don't treat me like a fren liao... only do some things for don't know what sake...I hereby thank those who came and those who msged me bday msg: ML, Michelle, Suyin, Jacob, Raymond, Amanda, Glynis, Mathilda, Melvin, Yixuan & gf, Pei Shi, Yik Man, Zhao Wen, Janet Lee, Agnes Low, Anthony, Lynett, Ivy Ng, Peiqi, Dora, Jingyi, Boon Seng, Serene Tan, Linghui, Jasmine Tan, Guo Rong, Angelia and Avril.

17 March/20 Feburary 2007 [Previous Entry]

2 January 2007, 4:30pm [Previous Entry]

2007-05-14T05:06:00.000+08:00

New Year Resolution/Wish List: To renew friendships and be a better person.
for the past year, due to NS... i only had about 50 - 70 days of weekends book outs and off days, and many of these days, were burnt for in camp training, and to beach rd - again for army... during the available free time, i did managed to go out with some grps of frens, but on the other hand i lost touch with other frens.... furthermore, i was active with SWAMI's volunteer work... it gave me less time.... i hope in the coming year, whereby i don't need to serve as much NS liability as before, and have more time to my control, i can find chances to renew friendships that i 'lost'... i also hope to control my temper better and continue to help. for the past year, my temper went out of control several times.... the frustration and desperation i suffered in camp increased the 'magma' in my volcano... i hope i can neutralise the 'magma' more, when i'm faced with problems.... and i definitely must stop myself from cursing and swearing so much...

Wish List (non-material)
1. Successful operation & smooth recovery
2. Happy year
3. A happier birthday than last year
4. Complete some of the incomplete song
5. Sing better and more singing sessions
6. Know what I want to do after NS

(material)
1. PS3 (year end)
2. Travelling (year end)
3. A slightly professional camera (complimentry with travelling)

actually i don't really need any material item.... these 3 is i squeeze my head out one....not impt also.. i rather the non-material list come true...

2 January 2007, 4:30pm [Previous Entry]